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October 2012 Moms
Co-worker vent
DH and I are taking Bradley Classes and are really looking forward to a Bradley Birth. That is a personal choice for us. I have never had good reactions to pain medications the times that I have had anesthesia, I have vomited, become severely itchy, have swollen up like a balloon, etc., so that is one of the many reasons why we are preparing for (what we hope will remain) an unmedicated birth. This is our choice and I would never push it on anyone else, or berate someone for their choice for an elective c-section, epidural, etc.
My coworker just came back from Maternity Leave and has taken every opportunity to tell me how "awesome" and "amazing" the epidural was and how she would never have a baby without it, and how she doesn't understand how anyone would choose to not have one. In addition, how difficult breastfeeding was, and how (after trying for 2 days) she just couldn't do it, and wasn't going to deal with the pain so she hopes that I am "ready for all the pain" that comes with it.
Why say anything? I understand she is back to work and is enjoying talking about her own experience, but anything that I say about what I'ved learned in class is met with, "oh honey, you don't KNOW the pain! you're gonna beg for the drugs!" well thank you for being so supportive!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Co-worker vent
Do not let her get to you or change your mind about anything. I have had all three boys natural it was what I wanted and what I was going to do. Is there pain, well yes your having a baby but you?re doing the right thing by taking the Bradley Classes they will teach you so much. Remember it?s YOUR baby, YOUR delivery, YOUR body and I understand she is sharing but this is going to be all YOU she is not going to be there. Not to mention everyone's labor and delivery is different.
I will cheer you on no matter what you decide so don't let her get you down.
Try having it be your own DH!! I have told DH I want to have as natural of a birth as possible. I still want it at the hospital but I want to avoid any medical intervention I can. I know that sometimes things happen and plans change. If I can avoid medications, excessive montioring, or cutting of any kind I want to.
What does DH say to this?! "You'll be begging for drugs." He had said it several times on different occasions. Finally I told him if he didn't shut up and start being supportive I was going to labor by myself! He could sit with his family in the waiting room!! He is no supportive.
If your co-worker keeps it up you can go one of two ways. Simply say, "When the time comes if I feel the need for medication I will ask for it. Until then I have a plan in place."
OR
"The female body was built to go through the labor process. Pain and all. Some woman are just better built to handle it." Hopefully it will be enough to keep her quite.
This exactly. Your coworker's plan didn't go as expected and now that's all she knows to be right. The only people who I believe when they talk about non-medicated vs. medicated births are the people who have done it BOTH ways and can compare the two without being biased.
My boss (who I otherwise really, really like) had 2 c-sections (due to a bi-coronate (sp?) uterus) and spouts off how awesome csections are and cannot believe how I want to have a birth free of interventions. Lady, you've only ever had c-sections. Of course they're going to seem amazing because it's all you know. Let me make my own decisions.
Just keep thinking about when you come back from maternity leave and she asks about delivery and you tell her that you went natural and it was amazing....that'll shut her up and she'll have more respect for you because of it.
Although I agree that OP's co-worker sounds obnoxious, I think it's making a huge assumption in saying that it was because she felt like a failure. Not everyone plans a natural birth, maybe the epidural was her plan A. I have had both natural birth and epidural and I definitely didn't feel like a failure for having pain relief.
OP- Sorry your co-worker had to be such a jerk!