Upset doesn't even begin to cover

BrewerFan86 · June 2012

So my boyfriend of about 2 years told me today he's not sure if he wants to be with me. Right before I found out I was pregnant things had been a little rocky, but I definitely didn't think my relationship was in jeopardy. Obviously when he told me this I was extremely upset, and told him I felt like he is completely abandoning me when I need him the most. His response was "I think I can be more supportive as a friend." Am I foolish for thinking he is just freaked out and will come around? I am 26, he is 31. Yes, this pregnancy was unplanned. We both have good jobs, and he owns his house. I have no idea what to do :-/

cupcakes710 · June 2012

woah! He really is abandoning you when you need him the most if that's what he's actually going to do. I don't think you're being foolish... maybe he just needs to let it soak in a bit more. I really don't know... how long have you both known?

I really hope he gets it together!! I hope others are able to give you better advice than I am! ::digital hugs::

ajatmont13 · June 2012

I'm so sorry you're going through something so difficult. I don't have any great advice other than to give it some time and see what happens. I will have my fingers crossed for you.

Shaungela · June 2012

Im so sorry that hes adding that extra stress on you. I would give it some time so you both can cool off a bit and try talking to him again. {{HUGS}}

kelly321 · June 2012

That must be unbelievably hard, I'm so sorry. Hopefully he will come around, but until then, there's not much you can do. You can't force him to stay with you if that's not what he wants. How is your support system? Could you move in with your family for a little bit while the two of you sort things out? Again, I do hope that he comes around, but I think that you should plan as if he won't just to make sure that you and the baby will be alright if he decides to leave for good.

BrewerFan86 · June 2012

I told him last week Thursday.

emmyann52 · June 2012

So sorry you have to go through this. Sounds extra douchey of him. I hope he figures it out soon. Get your support system that is close to you and lean on them!

daisylove711 · June 2012

wow.... I am so sorry to hear that... I really hope everything works out for you... ((hugs))

KD79 · June 2012

Geez. What a jerk. I'm sorry, I don't even know him, so for me to say that probably isn't fair, but OMG! He really is abandoning you. I'm so sorry!!

chulita425 · June 2012

I would try not to stress too much over it because sometimes guys just need a little (or a lot) of extra time to deal with this. That may be the case with him so as hard as it may be give him the space he needs to right now and hopefully he'll come around ASAP! I would still inform about dr appts and baby related stuff but IMO I'd probably leave it at that for now. Sorry you have to deal with this right now just focus on taking care of yourself and your little bean!

sragreen · June 2012

Yikes! I can't even begin to imagine what you are dealing with right now. Maybe he is just taking the news really hard since this was something that was unplanned? But he is still being a jerk IMO and handling it the wrong way. Is there any one that you can talk to like a family counselor or something? I know it's not the same thing, but my college boyfriend and I saw a counselor when he was going through some major issues. We dated for about 5 years before calling it quits because we just weren't meant to be together, but the counseling did help up to express ourselves better. It was something offered by the university since they were health-related issues, but surely there is someone you can talk to, even if it is only 1 or 2 sessions.

BrewerFan86 · June 2012

Thanks everyone. It's crazy how supportive you girls are. The first person I told I was pregnant is actually my boyfriend's cousin. I've worked with her for over 6 years, and she is actually the one that introduced us. She is super supportive and is hopeful that once bfs parents find out they will talk some sense into him. His mom is always complaining about not having any grandkids, and I think she would be supportive. I have told my sister, but not anyone else in my family. I know my parents are going to have tons of questions about what my plan is, and I just don't think I can handle that right now with things so up in the air.

winofairy · June 2012

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this right now. (((HUGS)))

California_Dreaming · June 2012

Yes, I would say he is a little freaked out about an unplanned pregnancy. My husband was freaked out on the first one and we planned it! I would give him some time and let him go through what he need to go through. He will be a better partner and father... So sorry..... big hugs.

schuebja · June 2012

I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this right now. Maybe give him a little time and space for him to think things out? I hope everything turns out okay for you.

nettie27 · June 2012

DC2London:
Wow. Honey, that SUCKS, I am so sorry.
I think you may be onto something with your suspicion that he is freaked out about being a father. It's possible if you give him some space for a bit he will come around. This is what men do. They flip out about living up to the responsibility of being someone's dad. If he does come around, however, you will have to decide for yourself if a man that would abandon you while you are carrying his child is the kind of man you want to be with.
I'm really sorry this is happening to you. It is just an all-around cruddy situation.

My thoughts exactly!

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