FTM - feeling resentful toward DH — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

FTM - feeling resentful toward DH

Not sure where else to post this but wondering if these feelings tie in with pp? I  feel like it's so unfair for my body to have to go thru so much & his doesn't. While he gets to enjoy parenthood w/out dealing wwith the physical aftermath & changes your body goes thru.

I feel kinda resentful toward him & while he wishes my healing time was over for intimacy - that's the last thing on my mind. Not to mention I feel insecure with my appearance :/ somehow he's just not making it any better. Plus being a new mom & he travels alot, leaving me to deal with two dogs on my own just feels like he expects too much from me... meh. 

Re: FTM - feeling resentful toward DH

  • I felt the exact same way for the first 6-9 months of my daughter's life.  I was in awesome shape before I had L, but found it hard to have the energy or time to exercise after I had her (not to mention my hair was falling out all over!).  Meanwhile, H still looked hot and would go to the gym after working 10 hour days and I did all the "mommy" work (I have 2 dogs too so it's like having 3 kids!!).  It got to a point where I had to tell myself that something had to change or I was gonna lose my mind.  Talked to my doc and got medication and also spoke with H and told him I needed at least an hour a day 3 times a week where he had to take over all activties (baby and doggie wise).  I used this time to work out and clear my head.  I was off the meds after about 12 weeks and lost about 15 lbs. by the time she was 9 months..  It gets easier as they get older.  But I know that doesn't help how you feel right now.  Talk to your H and tell him how you feel.. Make time for yourself...
  • I think yes probably.  I felt resentful towards DH and LO.  It was hard.  LO was an unplanned pregnancy in my late 30's, I thought I was done having kids and Bingo.  It was really hard to deal with and I'm predisposed to PPD.  The doctor gave me meds which I hated.  After 6 months I eventually weaned myself off and did well for about 1 month or so, but instead of going back on them I started taking St. Johns Wart for about 2-3 months.  I've been PPD free now for about 6 months - LO is 21 months old.
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  • I have so felt exactly the same. I actually just wrote a blog on how hard it had been on my marriage. 

    Just know that you are so not alone in this. Also it made a huge difference to be bluntly honest with my husband. It opened his eyes and changed the way he even interacted with me.  

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