PCP/ATP/TTC wednesday — The Bump
LGBT Parenting

PCP/ATP/TTC wednesday

Updates?

QOTD:  How did you or how do you plan to split up who will handle which topics with your kiddos?  And I know kids will ask either parent - but any plans?  We have one...though I assume there will be crossover.

Re: PCP/ATP/TTC wednesday

  • First ultrasound yesterday, saw the baby and heartbeat! Everything looks good so far....we're very excited!

     QOTD: we have no real plan in place...we make a good team and plan to "tag team" it.  Also, we're both teachers, so we both have a good idea of how to handle/explain things as they come up.

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  • QOTD: Same ole same ole. Last night they were hell on wheels - and I was PMSing/grouchy which didn't help anything. Thankfully, L was home to take over the kids. :) Thankfully, they are loving camp still and it is definitely tiring them out.

    We did this based on comfort/experience/abilities. I take all medical issues that arise since I work in medicine. I primarily take the kids to the docs, know/give/dispense medications as needed, and typically determine if the kids need to be seen or we can treat at home (with me, it is almost always the latter.) We try to split staying home with the kids when needed.

    L takes on the education. She volunteers more in the classroom, arranges for the teacher's gifts, etc. We both help with homework/teacher conferences/etc.

    L also takes on the uncomfortable/confrontational conversations we need to have with the school/childcare/etc. She is much better and diplomatic about these conversations. I get too emotional.

    I tend to take on the organization for the kids - making sure that they have what they need in their camp bag/backpack, that birthday gifts are purchased for birthday parties, etc. I also pack lunches for the kids.

    L reads every night at bedtime. It is her thing with the kids.

    We both do things that the other traditionally does.L packs lunch when I go out after work. I order teacher's gifts online.

    just reread: topics. Oops. No, we both handle whatever questions come our way. I never want to have to say, "Ask your Mom when she gets home." Of course there are things that I do say, "I'll have to to talk with Mom when she gets home." if it is a decision that we need to make jointly.

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  • First u/s is next Monday morning!  Other than that just trying to keep bland food on my tummy to help with m/s.

    QOTD:  I will probably handle the harder ones only because M gets flustered easily while tag teaming the smaller things.  We plan on being very open with our child so they are confident when asked questions from other kids about their family. I will also handle the speaking with the care givers/daycare/teachers etc. 

    M & M
    06/12 - BFP!!!!
    Beta #1 15dpo - 256
    Beta #2 18dpo - 1097
    6wk U/S on 07/02 ~ TWINS!!!
    EDD 02/21/13
    09/10/12 Found out it's two Boys!!!! Sam and Jake
    Jacob and Samuel born 1/29/13 at 36 weeks. photo F489900B-BB44-4C44-ACD1-ABB73509E3B2-9032-000005E7AE7EF53E.jpg Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • hlkehlke member

    Waiting.  Cycle 3 mid-July.

    QOTD: I'd like us both to be able to handle tough questions from the kids, but realistically, I can see C saying "talk to Mama about that".  I think she's come a long way in her internalized homophobia (thanks military and conservative christianity), but she's still not 100% in her conviction that we are just like any other family.  And she is very uncomfortable with sexuality, while I'm very outspoken about how important it is to me to raise sex-positive children.  I think we'll handle discipline 50/50, and I have no idea how we'll be, but I think I may end up being the softie, even though C is less confrontational than I am.  We'll see I guess.  Oh, and I'll handle questions about health, and C will handle questions about physics. Smile

    Same sex couple TTC with donor sperm.  I am 35 and carrying.  Endometriosis and DOR.
    AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish

    IVF #1 - antagonist.  Empty follicle syndrome.  1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
    IVF #2 - antagonist.  Ovulated early.  3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
  • All is well on our end. Stressed about getting all the paperwork together to buy a house. The Kiddos enjoyed their trip to Philly and I think it has cracked some of the shell they used to have. They have become very protective of each other and I love it!

    QOTD: C will probably handle more of the "female" issues than I, but on other issues we will probably handle them together. I will probably have a more stern voice with anything that affects school and behaviour...though C may still have the last word Smile.

     

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  • Daisy moved up to the 2's room this week (yeah, she's 19 months, but whatev) and had been doing well there.  Basically no transition.  She's also been great about trying the potty and has had some success - though she's long from fully trained we are excited about the development.

    QOTD: We dont have any sort of plan and pretty much take stuff as it comes - we are similar enough that we dont have any concerns about the other giving an answer we arent comfortable with.  She's a little more skiddish about personal/sex/body stuff so I can see her leaving the sex talk up to me, but thats about it.

  • ATP: Long summer daylight hours + no homework + new friend down the street = one tired E. We are just getting to know this family and it's new and exciting for E. I'm hoping we'll find a groove soon that will result in some play time and also getting to sleep on time!

    QOTD: Good question! For us things are of course divided depending on if E is with me or with her dad. That said, he and I do check in with each other regularly and discuss the bigger issues and how to handle things that come up to make sure we are on the same page. Things between he and I have come a looong way in the past year or so and thankfully we are in a good place where we can talk about parenting issues. I can imagine that I'll be the one to deal with more of the school-related things since I have her more than he does and that has already proven to be true. I hope that as the big questions/issues come up for her in the future that we'll be able to talk with her together or at least confer with each other so we have the same party line. I'm sure I'll get to do the sex talk and since I can't recall that happening with my parents (it was just NOT supposed to happen) well, that is something I should probably start thinking now about what I'll say!

  • imageseattlekari:

    I can't recall that happening with my parents (it was just NOT supposed to happen) well, that is something I should probably start thinking now about what I'll say!

    Wait...my sex talk was going to be along the lines of: DONT DO IT.  Are you saying I may need to revise? Wink

  • Our "plans" (best laid plans...) are for me to handle sex and math and DW to handle church and state. I am so relieved that I got sex and math.
  • hlkehlke member
    Madison and CT, you both gave me a much needed afternoon laugh.
    Same sex couple TTC with donor sperm.  I am 35 and carrying.  Endometriosis and DOR.
    AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish

    IVF #1 - antagonist.  Empty follicle syndrome.  1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
    IVF #2 - antagonist.  Ovulated early.  3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
  • hlke - you know I am serious, right?  I MUCH prefer explaining sex and math over church and state. 
  • imagectbride08:
    imageseattlekari:

    I can't recall that happening with my parents (it was just NOT supposed to happen) well, that is something I should probably start thinking now about what I'll say!

    Wait...my sex talk was going to be along the lines of: DONT DO IT.  Are you saying I may need to revise? Wink

    HA!!! Well CT, I will not tell a woman whose parenting skills I very much admire how to talk to her kids about sex! Wink All joking aside, I think my real hope is that E and I will have open and honest dialogue about things. And that she will feel that she can come to me with anything. I know some parents who have successfully pulled this off and I find it very refreshing compared to the style my parents used. I will definitely encourage her to wait, but I will also not put my head in the sand!

  • tdmklmtdmklm member

    imagemadisonpeas:
    Our "plans" (best laid plans...) are for me to handle sex and math and DW to handle church and state. I am so relieved that I got sex and math.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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    image
  • imageseattlekari:
    I will definitely encourage her to wait, but I will also not put my head in the sand!

    in all seriousness, this is the route I hope to take too (well said by a mom I very much admire!)...but, gosh, sometimes that balance seems daunting. 

  • hlkehlke member

    imagemadisonpeas:
    hlke - you know I am serious, right?  I MUCH prefer explaining sex and math over church and state. 

    Oh, I know!  It still made me laugh.

    We still have no idea who's going to take matters of spirituality...it's a work in progress for both of us.  Trying to imagine my "church" talk makes me cringe.

    Same sex couple TTC with donor sperm.  I am 35 and carrying.  Endometriosis and DOR.
    AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish

    IVF #1 - antagonist.  Empty follicle syndrome.  1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
    IVF #2 - antagonist.  Ovulated early.  3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
  • TTC:- Cycle three coming up

     

    QOTD:- I think we'll share most of it, but I'll likely handle the birds and the bees talks.

     

    Emma+Karen - CONGRATS on your ultrasound! You must be over the moon!

    Hike and 2moms2be - good luck! :) 

    IUI #1 - 10 April 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #2 - 05 May 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #3 - 05 July 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #4 - 30 August 2012 medicated and monitoredLetrozole and Ovidrel Trigger 
    IUI #5 - 27 September 2012 Letrozole 
    BFP! 9 October 2012 Betas:- 12DPO 16; 16DPO 96; 18DPO 315

    Baby Alarico born on 28 June 2013!!


  • TTC: 15! MILLION! MOTILE! SPERM!  That was our count on Monday at IUI #8.  This was our first tested vial over 10 and I feel like we hit the jackpot.  Of course now my hopes are up and I'm trying my hardest to remind myself that this does NOT mean I will get pregnant.  Which is not working.

    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

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  • No big updates--just adjusting to an extra "kid and a half"  Carrot is doing great--and Zucchini is starting to show a few more behviors. Things are definitely different when she is here.  But, she is happy to be here on the weekends, and asking for more time, which is good.

     

    QOTD:  Whoever they ask, will answer.  We both have similar enough answers that I think it will be fine.  

  • Ohh! Congrats on the 15 million count! That's terrific!

     

    GOOD LUCK! 

    IUI #1 - 10 April 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #2 - 05 May 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #3 - 05 July 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #4 - 30 August 2012 medicated and monitoredLetrozole and Ovidrel Trigger 
    IUI #5 - 27 September 2012 Letrozole 
    BFP! 9 October 2012 Betas:- 12DPO 16; 16DPO 96; 18DPO 315

    Baby Alarico born on 28 June 2013!!


  • hlkehlke member
    imageball.and.chain:

    TTC: 15! MILLION! MOTILE! SPERM!  That was our count on Monday at IUI #8.  This was our first tested vial over 10 and I feel like we hit the jackpot.  Of course now my hopes are up and I'm trying my hardest to remind myself that this does NOT mean I will get pregnant.  Which is not working.

    So glad to hear it!  Fingers crossed.

    Same sex couple TTC with donor sperm.  I am 35 and carrying.  Endometriosis and DOR.
    AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish

    IVF #1 - antagonist.  Empty follicle syndrome.  1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
    IVF #2 - antagonist.  Ovulated early.  3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
  • Adoption is DONE and I am S n L documented Mother via eyes of the court and I get a decree !   It was a good day. M's parent did not make but they were invited but her Dad just got out or rhab so its understandable and I want him to be in tip top shape because HE NEEDS TO BE AT THE GIRLS PROM in 2028 -  My dad asked the Judge what I do with the decree and who if anyone will ask for it and the judge was super nice but she shrugged cuz she had no clue and looked at our Attny and said I am  not sure She said she was actually perplexed because  they girls have my last name anyhow and I am on the Birth certificate - so it was a lil odd .  

    M and I are a great team when it come to the girls.  She is in charge of any Mathematical education and ALL mathematical on going in the girls LIFE _ I am a math a phone. Seriously, I can barely add like a normal person it just does not get in my brain.   ironic thing is i am in charge of all banking and accounts ( how so i ask myself) I can keep lists and such and thank got for a calculator ... but its because I pay *** on  time and typically b4 its due M not so good in the organization department or the on time dept. Oh and she will also be in charge of any and all Geography and  sailing, ocean stuff!  the rest I can do ... I think ...  but she may be the push over mom so the kids will ask her first and then she will say GO ASK MOMMY ... and I will have to be BAD COP ...  but we are pretty much on the same page. I think topic wise we will try to address things together Like why MAMA looks like a girl and MOMMY looks like boy type stuff we will take on together.. Because we each explain it differently

     

    - 2 Moms 2 Twins Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
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  • image2moms2twins:
    -  My dad asked the Judge what I do with the decree and who if anyone will ask for it and the judge was super nice but she shrugged cuz she had no clue and looked at our Attny and said I am  not sure She said she was actually perplexed 

     

    We've never been asked for it. We have carried the birth certificate with both of our names from time to time, but never the decree.

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