Two Under 2

hardest time with 2 under 2

So my girls are 15 months apart.  Right now #1 will be 2 in August and #2 is 7 months old.   I will have to say... it's been easy.  I think it has to do with a lot... 

#1 was in a really good routine when #2 was born.  Her routine was never disrupted with #2.  

#2 fell into a pretty good routine come 4 months.. even better come 6 months.

#1 was a late walker... So while I was trying to get through BFing and all that, #1 was still not walking (17 months she started)

I keep thinking...  will there be a super rough period?    I know it depends on the kids... but I guess I don't want to be blindsided. haha.  Do you think when #2 starts crawling or walking it will get wild?  I'm guessing when those terrible 3's happen?     Life has been so wonderful with my two girls...  and I wonder what future days will bring.  Regardless, days will be good with them no matter what. 

Thanks for listening

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Re: hardest time with 2 under 2

  • I'm happy that it's been so easy for you!  Mine are 14 months apart things were hectic at the beginning.  However, things are CRAZY now that DS is cruising/crawling/climbing/grabbing.  Active, mobile baby that doesn't play with anything for more than 2 1/2 seconds combined with a potty-training, strong-willed two year old....  one tired momma.  But, I love it and wouldn't change it for the world (most days).  :)
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  • I predict that I'm about to come to the tough window. My baby was easy (and infancy is a favorite of mine, even when it's less ideal). Now that she's on the verge of crawling etc I'm worried. I also have a very large baby so she's getting heavy and I'm actually worried she won't get mobile fast enough and I'll be stuck carting around a 20 lb 9 month old all the time. 

    With my son my least favorite time was 9-15 months, so I'm guessing I won't like that stage this time around either, and I'm sure it will be harder with an older one as well. 

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  • I was just telling DH I don't know what's worse baby +toddler or toddler+toddler. Both were difficult but this is taking more out of me everyday

    DS is just into everything, he is a big tall kid (already in 2T) so he can get things off the counter, climb, take stuff of the table, he is more aggressive than DD and her feelings get hurt. He wants to do everything she does including not sitting in the shopping cart or stroller in a store (wants to walk) and naps are not always at the same time now that he finally dropped his second nap and there is literally no down time for mommy.  

     

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  • It was hardest for me when they were ages 3 and 1.  They would both take off in different directions and the 1 year old couldn't yet understand directions or reasoning and the 3yo could understand but would be defiant.  However, now that they are 4 and 2 it's like night and day and they play together really well. 

    And now, to add #3 to the mix so we'll see how it goes...

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  • Thanks Ladies.  Good to hear from others in the same situation!

    Yes the baby isn't crawling yet, but I think she's going to be all over the place. 

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  • Well, I'm only 17 months into 2u2 but I still haven't hit a super rough period. Of course, there's been times where they've both been teething and I was running on little sleep, but behaviorally I haven't had any issues with either one yet. I've read a lot on here that moms think it gets harder when the youngest gets mobile, but I think quite the opposite. That's when my oldest really got interested in the baby. Now that they're both toddlers, they play together a lot and I have down time because they both aren't needing me constantly. Of course, they have their moments where they're fighting to the death over a toy, but more often than not their interactions are positive.

    I might be eating my words when I have a 3 year old and a 2 year old though. DS hasn't hit terrible 2s yet, so I'm thinking 3 might be the tough age for him and if DD hits terrible 2s at 2, it will be insanity. Like everything else we'll get through it though.

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  • jani7jani7 member
    I'm actually relieved to read a positive post!  I've been really down about how many  negative responses there were to the question a few posts below asking if people would do it again.  I'm expecting #2 (16 months apart) and reading some of the responses on this board has scared the crap out of me!  I'm sure it won't always be easy but I'm glad to read a half way positive post!! So thank you! 
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  • I've really enjoyed 2u2 and haven't had a rough patch yet, but I see it coming.  Now that DD2 is more interactive, becoming mobile and touching DD1's stuff some jealousy and annoyance is coming out.  I have a feeling that the most difficult time will be when DD1 is 3 and DD2 turns 1.
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  • You may be almost out of the woods.  Our house was turned upside down by DD because she cried for 6 months, ate every 2-3 hours around the clock (until 8-9 months), screamed for DH and hated to be comforted by anything but the boob.  Then at 6 months, she was totally mobile (crawling and pulling up) and DS started to realize that she was competition, so we had that going on.  The first 9 months or so were brutal for me and I thought I might actually die of exhaustion and frustration.  If I could have skipped that, it would have been nice :)  Now they are besties.  This is a good summer for us. 

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  • I've yet to hit a "hard part" with 2 under 2.  I think people who are big into routines and have high expectations do better than those who go into what we all call "survival mode".  To me that just seems like a lack of planning and preparing.  Yes there are days where nothing goes as planned, but if you never plan, or set expectations, how do you expect to go anywhere?  I'm sure I'm going to get flamed for this, but I think the type and commitment of parenting. rather than than the temperament of your children is what comes into play when 2 under 2 doesn't go smoothly.
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  • imagejani7:
    I'm actually relieved to read a positive post!  I've been really down about how many  negative responses there were to the question a few posts below asking if people would do it again.  I'm expecting #2 (16 months apart) and reading some of the responses on this board has scared the crap out of me!  I'm sure it won't always be easy but I'm glad to read a half way positive post!! So thank you! 

    Why did that thread below scare you? There were less than 10 negative responses and 30 responses total. The majority were positive.

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  • jani7jani7 member
    imageKC_13:

    imagejani7:
    I'm actually relieved to read a positive post!  I've been really down about how many  negative responses there were to the question a few posts below asking if people would do it again.  I'm expecting #2 (16 months apart) and reading some of the responses on this board has scared the crap out of me!  I'm sure it won't always be easy but I'm glad to read a half way positive post!! So thank you! 

    Why did that thread below scare you? There were less than 10 negative responses and 30 responses total. The majority were positive.

     

    I guess maybe I just was surprised at how many people said no way they wouldn't do it again. I knew there were more positive than negative but still surprised at some of the responses. I guess I was too focused on the negatives :/ 

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  • imageMammaBear81:
    I've yet to hit a "hard part" with 2 under 2.  I think people who are big into routines and have high expectations do better than those who go into what we all call "survival mode".  To me that just seems like a lack of planning and preparing.  Yes there are days where nothing goes as planned, but if you never plan, or set expectations, how do you expect to go anywhere?  I'm sure I'm going to get flamed for this, but I think the type and commitment of parenting. rather than than the temperament of your children is what comes into play when 2 under 2 doesn't go smoothly.

     

    I love this reply!   Thank you.  We have always been huge into routines and people think we are just "lucked out" with two good babies...  or because we have two girls.   We really plan and prepare and still to it.  Friends may think we are nuts because we leave somewhere early to get home for our bedtime routine... but it works!    I know there will be hard days though :) 

    Thank you... cute picture...    

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  • laura1laura1 member

    I think it depends on your kids.  Like you, I had it easy...until DD started crawling/walking.  Having 2 mobile kids was a huge challenge.  I miss the days when I would just plop DD down on the floor with some toys, and she would stay there.  And I was lucky - DD didn't start crawling until 11.5 months, but then walked at 13 months.   At 18 months it also got harder when DD got the early terrible 2's and DS was starting to get the terrible 3's.  

    It also depends on what you think is hard - I could deal with the sleep deprivation that came with having a 15 month old and a newborn.  I have a harder time corralling 2 uncooperative kids into the car so we can do things!   

    But clearly it wasn't that bad, since I am now adding a new kid into the mix.  Yikes! 

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  • kagl08kagl08 member
    While I was one of the negatives in the post below, it wasn't because its been hard. Wink My son was born a preemie and spent time in the NICU. We almost lost him and having a 3rd would be irresponsible since my body caused him to come early. So no, we won't be doing 2u2 again, but we are also done with kids.

    I am still waiting for the hard days in terms of my children's behavior. The first 5-6 months were awful for us, but that's because my DS had severe reflux, a MSPI and a host f other issues. Thankfully we see the light now!! DS is crawling and starting to cruise on furniture. He's very close to walking. My DD and him play very well together (most times). They are very sweet! DH and I say a lot that we are loving how easy it has become. Sure it's still hard but great! I sure do hope that we never hit that hard part in terms of their behavior. So far they are beyond sweet with each other and play so well and it's just amazing having them together.
  • I think health has a lot to do with it. If you have one or both kiddos sick a lot of the time, no amount of routine and scheduling is going to help with that. If you, the mother, have health issues yourself, it can make it very hard. But people like to pat themselves on the back because they think they have things figured out. 

    I think it's a fallacy that if you are struggling caring for two small children, that it must be something that you, the parent, are doing wrong.  

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  • kagl08kagl08 member
    imageJoannaJes:

    I think health has a lot to do with it. If you have one or both kiddos sick a lot of the time, no amount of routine and scheduling is going to help with that. If you, the mother, have health issues yourself, it can make it very hard. But people like to pat themselves on the back because they think they have things figured out. 

    I think it's a fallacy that if you are struggling caring for two small children, that it must be something that you, the parent, are doing wrong.  

    ITA! No amount of a perfect routine would have made the 1st 5-6 months of 2u2 any easier. The health issues my DS had made it impossible. There were multiple drs appts a week, the stress of worrying that he'd be ok, and plus he was in pain, crying. Nothing would have made that time easier, including the most well drawn-out routine.
  • delg23delg23 member
    lucky! It hasn't been easy for me so maybe it never will get hard for you. I'm hoping it will get easier for me when #1 is better at listening and walking beside me. #2 was sleeping through the night but then stopped. Once he starts again I imagine it will be easier. I am wondering about the crawling phase. 
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  • imagelaura1:

    It also depends on what you think is hard - I could deal with the sleep deprivation that came with having a 15 month old and a newborn.  I have a harder time corralling 2 uncooperative kids into the car so we can do things!   

    But clearly it wasn't that bad, since I am now adding a new kid into the mix.  Yikes! 

    Exactly this. The newborn stage was hard but getting two toddlers to cooperate is WAY harder!  And routines DO help keep everyone sane. My head was spinning until everyone got on a routine and we never stay out after bed time. I still prepare diaper bag day before 

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  • (Lurking from Jan 2013 Moms, wanting to check out what I hope my future is!)

    This was a dream post for me to read, DH and I are planning on 2u2 (God willing everything works out as prayed) and this reassured me that everything will/could be okay, even though everyone else thinks we are crazy! I was in the 2u2 club with my sister and I loved it! You're girls sound lovely and I hope their childhood was as beautiful and wonderful as mine and my sister's was!

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  • I never had a super rough period. It helps (a lot!) that DH is home with me all day and he is such a huge help. I love having 2u2. We'll see if I still hold this opinion when I have two teenage girls. ;)
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  • Nothing has been hard or difficult for me yet, mine are 2.5 and 6 months.  Hoping it stays that way!
  • So glad things are going well!  My kids are 21 months apart (currently oldest is 3 and a half and youngest is about 20 months).  I honestly don't remember much of the first 7 months after youngest DD was born...it is a blur!  I feel like things were fairly easy, just fast and exhausting.  My oldest DD is now becoming a challenge, they say "terrible two's" and I say those were pretty terrific, it's the 3's that are kicking my butt!  And now that youngest DD is talking (she is an early talker and very tall for her age so people often mistake her for being 2 or over) they give me a run for my money.  I always thought I would love to have 3 kids but I think I would go bonkers if we had any more.  I can hardly manage the two I have.  The hardest part is the younger one wanting to do what the older already can do and the fighting over the toys, me, food, anything really...but I am SOOOO blessed and am so hope that they are friends when they get older. 
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