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December 2012 Moms
BrittanyDoesDerby
member
On the baby shower board....
BrittanyDoesDerby
member
Am I the only other person who doesn't give a flying *** about whether or not other people are being tacky about their own shower etiquette?
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Re: On the baby shower board....
Omg yes. I posted about this in UO Thursday last week. I think some of the women on there who just go batshiit crazy on people about anything that is slightly tacky or out of line etiquette-wise need to lighten up and go fight crime or something. They aren't going to make the world a better place just because they convinced a sub-board of a community to not host their own showers or have 2nd, 3rd, 77nd showers.
There are actually particular posters on that board that I am VERY thankful aren't on our BMB.
Avery - 8.2.07 | Asher - 5.12.10 | Audrey - 11.28.12
Exactly.
I was getting concerned that I was the only one on this site that doesn't GAF about how other people run their social events.
I don't really care what people do or don't do, but if they are posting and asking for opinions, it's their own fault if they get a bad reception.
I find any kind of shower absolutely dull and mind numbing,and find any excuse to not go, so--whatever.
Labor Buddy to Blowfish11
I only care in so far as if they point blank ask "is this tacky?" I'll say "yes" or "no" and leave it at that. I'd still go tho, regardless, because I LOVE to celebrate babies - without a shower, I'd take a gift when I go with a meal (something our church does for 3-4 wks after every baby).
I seriously think that many people just have too much time on their hands so they need to stir up drama, or make people feel lousy to feel superior about themselves.
I agree with this.
Every time someone brings up that board I hear this...
They worry so much about I wonder what their everyday lives are like...I finally had to stop going in there cause they have made me second guess myself a few times. From what I can gather thought its the same small group who get all up in arms over etiquette
My thought on the whole subject is this:
1. There are several regular posters over there I would never be friends with. They are obviously incredibly judgmental and quick to assume everyone, everywhere celebrates everything the same way.
2. If you ask a question on a public message board, you're going to get a whole lot of answers. And a lot of "innocent" questions can be seen in the worst light when XY or Z has had a bad day.
3. If someone really wants to know what is tacky, please ask a close friend or family member. For example, in our circle of friends, it isn't tacky to have a baby shower for babies other than your first, but it is tacky to spend more than 20 minutes opening gifts. They are usually saved for after the party.
BFP#1 Kaitlyn 11-17-04
BFP #2 Matthew pPROM 23w5d 06-03-07, b/33 weeks 8-6-07, d/10-15-07 SIDS,
BFP #3 m/c 8 weeks 2/20/09, BFP #4 m/c no hb 6w4d, m/c 9w4d, D&C 11w2d, BFP #5 C/P 12/18/09 after BFP- 9dpo
BFP #6 Samantha- 11-9-10
BFP #7 4/20/12 21 DPO beta: 2382 29 DPO beta: 23000! HB 6w2d 116 bpm due Christmas day!
This Momma's Journey
~Today I am pregnant and I love my baby~
I'm pretty sure you could take a passage out of a perfect etiquette book, and the BS board (yes, BS) would still find fault.
That's all they do. You never see someone say Oh what a cute idea! or Here are some creative suggestions.. etc.
It's always 'don't do that - it's tacky.'.
Me too... they get all up in arms over there! Usually the first post response is... "You are going to get so flammed for asking that..." It's like they want to stir up drama and make a big deal about every single etiquette question!
this, this, and this! I couldn't agree more!
This is exactly how I feel about it. I don't care and am not going to remember who hosted someone's shower.
BFP#1:MC 8/20/2010| BFP#2:MC 7/9/2011| BFP#3:DD born 12/14/2012
I can see why people would say "that's tacky" but personally I would only bring it up/say something when it's an actual discussion. (Like when we discussed second showers on the FB group. I honestly said my feelings.) However, I would NEVER go up to a person and tell them they are doing something tacky, let alone to the degree those women do.
Hell, I'm still side-eyeing my friend about hosting her own "engagement party open house." (Part of this is because I've never heard of one, and I personally wouldn't host my own.) But, I would never tell her "Hey, I think this sounds tacky."
I've seen on that board where women will START the drama with a poster. "Hey, do you think these games would be ok?" "OMG! It sounds like you are throwing your own shower you hor! You are an extremely tacky person. ICK."
As a PP said, if I think it's gift-grabby (WHICH btw, I think depends on the situation and person. You know your friends, and I can tell you who of my friends would be doing it for the gifts vs. celebrating the child. This isn't a specific "absolutely no XYZ" sort of thing for me) so I just won't go. I probably would actually, depending on who it is, but I would never dare call them out on it.
Edit to add: I also never realize who's hosting the shower. I normally never even give a second thought to it. My thoughts above are not a specific to whose hosting a shower or for when a shower is deemed acceptable.
I only think "tacky" when I think gift-grabby. Which as I said, depends on the person it's for. Which, if you are invited to the shower, you probably know the person well enough to know if they are selfish-gift-grabby type of people to begin with.
3/12 150mg Clomid + B2B IUI =BFP!! TWINS!
Vanishing twin at week 6
Tater-tot born January 3rd 2013
2 IUI's in 2016- BFN
3 IUI's in 2017- BFN
8/17 IUI BFP!!!!!!!!
I was never on the knot, but I head there was an ettiqute board? Did they all migrate to the BS board? Because I love that these ladies think that their opinon should change everyone else's because they know ettiqute and all that jazz. (Which, doesn't proper ettiqute include NOT trying to act superior and trashing someone?)
3/12 150mg Clomid + B2B IUI =BFP!! TWINS!
Vanishing twin at week 6
Tater-tot born January 3rd 2013
2 IUI's in 2016- BFN
3 IUI's in 2017- BFN
8/17 IUI BFP!!!!!!!!
Dude. I agree. I'm so sick of watching people say "this or that is tacky." In reality, I had to ask my mom if she was doing my shower of if I needed to ask my MIL to do it. No one knows the relationship I have with my mom. She's my best.freakin.friend. I'm an anal planner and she's not, so since we live 8 hours apart, I asked her about it and she replied with, "NO WAY. YOUR SHOWER IS MINE!" I'm glad I asked. So was she. Now we're on the same age, and she knows I don't expect her to come all the way to Dallas to do a shower away from all of our family.
I wasn't being grabby. My family is the kind of family that there is a party for everything. So, who is someone else to tell me I did something "wrong?" I know my family. They don't.
And, for the record, people came to our wedding and didn't bring gifts/didn't get gifts from our registry. In the end, a party is a party regardless of if you get gifts or not. If you wanna get me a gift, here's a list of what we'd like. If not, PLEASE come and hang out anyway!
Sorry. /endrant.
As far as shower or any kind of etiquette goes, I could give a whoot. However, if you ask my opinion, I'll tell you honestly what I think. I also 100% agree with pps who said to ask friends and family (as opposed to interwebz crazies with their utes in knots) as it really varies between families and regions.
Awww we were tattled on. LMAO.
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/66866675.aspx
Another person doesn't like what I said? Eah. I'll live.
3/12 150mg Clomid + B2B IUI =BFP!! TWINS!
Vanishing twin at week 6
Tater-tot born January 3rd 2013
2 IUI's in 2016- BFN
3 IUI's in 2017- BFN
8/17 IUI BFP!!!!!!!!
Yep, I just laughed when she had to profess her love to the Baby Shower board.
Aw, shucks. I'm flattered.
3/12 150mg Clomid + B2B IUI =BFP!! TWINS!
Vanishing twin at week 6
Tater-tot born January 3rd 2013
2 IUI's in 2016- BFN
3 IUI's in 2017- BFN
8/17 IUI BFP!!!!!!!!
Damn, that would be a shame.
BFP#1 Kaitlyn 11-17-04
BFP #2 Matthew pPROM 23w5d 06-03-07, b/33 weeks 8-6-07, d/10-15-07 SIDS,
BFP #3 m/c 8 weeks 2/20/09, BFP #4 m/c no hb 6w4d, m/c 9w4d, D&C 11w2d, BFP #5 C/P 12/18/09 after BFP- 9dpo
BFP #6 Samantha- 11-9-10
BFP #7 4/20/12 21 DPO beta: 2382 29 DPO beta: 23000! HB 6w2d 116 bpm due Christmas day!
This Momma's Journey
~Today I am pregnant and I love my baby~
Aw, you don't like us, whatever will we do?
I think I'll do a happy dance!
Sucks you're so butthurt.
I'm so butthurt I'm going to start a thread about how mean you are... oh, wait, that's you.
Sorry, come again? I said that I don't care about other people's choices to have or not have tacky showers or not follow some etiquette rule or another. I'm sorry you took that personally.
Took it personally, sorry, that would mean I actually gave a sh!t what your opinion of me is. What I don't understand is why, if you care so litte, you had to start a whole post about it. Makes me think that you are so butthurt that you had to start a whole thread about how much you don't care so other people will justify whatever it is that wadded your panties.
Obviously, you care if you came over to defend it...
I'm fairly certain we were discussing how butthurt you all get about if someone may or may not be hosting their own shower, and dear lord if they have a shower for a 2nd child or whatever. Y'all are like vultures over there waiting for fresh meat, and if someone doesn't include every single detail in their post, you guys go in for the kill, ASSuming the person is hosting the shower for themselves. It's pretty ridiculous to get so up in arms about something so minor.
What a coincidence, that's why I visit the baby shower board!
Your board really doesn't understand the definition of butthurt. People come and ask questions. We give them answers, people seem to get all twitchy when they don't like the answers they are given or we aren't telling them how fantastic their idea is. The reality is, we are saying to their "faces" what their friends and family are saying behind their backs.
As for getting annoyed when people don't include details, well yeah. We aren't mind readers, we only know what the poster tells us. In order to give good advice, we need ALL relevant information. Usually, what people leave out are the details that they know are questionable. My general theory, if you have to ask if something is wrong, it most likely is. If you really don't care, why are you coming on and asking? If you don't want to listen, it's no skin off my back, but, if you don't want to listen, why ask in the first place?