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June 2011 Moms
ajc0121
member
So conflicted!
ajc0121
member
I feel like I go back and forth all the time on if I want a second baby. I go visit the BFing board, or the post down below and it REALLY makes me miss having a newborn and all of that sweetness. But then I look over at my perfect sleeping baby girl right next to me and think that I never want to take away from her.
I have plenty of time to decide about a second baby but I feel like I will never be able to make up my mind. My sister and I are 10 years apart so I always felt like an only child. (Sister is half and lived with her mom most of the time) So I really enjoyed having all of my parents attention/money/love/ect.
There really is no point to this post, other than asking if any moms of 2+ ever felt this same way? Or if any moms have the same conflict?
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Re: So conflicted!
Aww
As the last of four kids, I can tell you that there is enough love in your heart for more then one baby. My parents love the crap out of me lol
I felt like that too, but when DS was younger. Like newborn til 6 months. Now I could imagine another baby, although that's definitely not in the plan until DS is older, maybe three. I just don't want to have another right now. My pregnancy sucked, and I don't want to be in a position that I HAVE to work when we have another one. Bringing a new baby into your life is always an adjustment, but children are a blessing!
The way I look at is...you aren't taking anything away from your first; you are adding new dimensions, relationships, and excitement to his/her life. Your second baby is never going to have that one-on-one time that your first did, and that doesn't mean he/she won't be equally loved and thrive just as well. So, your first already has those special moments of being the sole focus of your attention, whether it's for 2 years or 5 or forever. That's special no matter what.
I never felt any less love as a 2nd child and your 1st will love a sibling!
That being said, how are your things with DH? You were the one who was leaving and/or thinking about leaving? Or am I thinking of someone else?
Things are actually going really well (right now atleast). We have been continuing counseling. I am still going to school so that just incase I will have a fall back. We are moving into a house (from an apt) and I really cant complain right now. We are just going to keep working at it and pray that things keep improving.
Well said. I didnt think of it like that.
I honestly do not mean for this to come across as harsh, so I apologize in advance if it comes across that way BUT the fact that you feel the need to have an escape plan, and have to qualify how things are going, to me, screams that a second child may not be the best idea right now. I would wait a little longer until you can just say that things are great and your marriage is working well and that you are going to school to better your life or start a career, etc. I know some may argue it's just a matter of semantics, but sometimes the chosen semantics hold all the info you need. When the time is right, you will know it and you will be able to love and treat them equally.
I am not thinking of having a second child for atleast 3 or 4 years. The spark of this thread was because I dont know if I ever want a second child. I definitely know that babies dont fix marriages! We decided that WE have to fix our marriage. And you are right, things will work out the way they are supposed to. Us staying married or not, having a second child together (or with someone else) or not. I just need to have faith that God has everything under control..