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January 2013 Moms
lulamagoo
member
Baby Boy born on 1/14/13
-------FFFC-------
lulamagoo
member
Flame Free Friday Confession time ladies, let's hear em!
Baby Boy born on 1/14/13
This discussion has been closed.
Re: -------FFFC-------
I am terrified of actually being a parent.
I have a BS in early childhood education, and am extremely comfortable and confident around children including infants, but being a mom is scary stuff.
I have wanted a child for so long and I know my husband will be a great dad, I just find parenthood scary.
I couldn't be happier that we are having a baby and I thank God multiple times a day, but then I feel awful because it scares the crap out of me.
Baby Boy born on 1/14/13
Henry Cavill...You're welcome!
BFP #3: EDD 1/10/13 **DS born 12/30/12!!!**
BFP #2: MC 7/2/11 @ 12 weeks
**Missing our February '12 LoveBug**
BFP #1: MMC discovered on 12/6/10
I was terrified, too. It is much easier and natural once the baby is here, though. It wasn't as scary as I imagined it to be. My son will be four in a few weeks, and I still have moments of WTF am I doing, but your natural instincts will take over and it becomes second nature.
*BFP 10/15/11*CP 10/18/11*
*BFP 2/1/12*EDD 10/14/12*natural M/C 2/24/12 7w*
*BFP 5/2/12*E born 01/03/13 (her due date)
i hate the summer sooooooo much! despise it....
i really hope this "heat wave" we're having is not a sign of what's to come for the rest of the summer...this sucks
First of all, I love your thing from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. That is my all time favorite movie.
Second, I feel you on the scared to be a parent thing. I've always known I wanted to by a mom and I know my husband will be fantastic. I knew trying to have a baby would eventually get me a baby, but after my 12 week appointment seeing my baby look like a baby, I've been almost in shock. That kid is mine and my responsibility to not screw up and to protect for the rest of my life. That's a lot!
Kendall, 1/1/13
*BFP 10/15/11*CP 10/18/11*
*BFP 2/1/12*EDD 10/14/12*natural M/C 2/24/12 7w*
*BFP 5/2/12*E born 01/03/13 (her due date)
I cry when I think about going into labour again and actually pushing out the baby.
I don't want to scare any 1st timers. I didn't have a great experience the first time (not horrible though either, as I have heard some pretty bad ones) But, not going to lie, it hurt ALOT and I know the pain goes away the second it is over, but just thinking about the labour and pushing scares me.
Man...Now I want KFC.
1. I am not PC. Or even close to it. And I really feel that the world is too concerned with being to PC all the time. I really have to watch myself on here sometimes...
2. I'm a total *** while pregnant. I don't know what comes over me, but I'm rude to everyone and it's the one time in my life that I simply couldn't care less that I just chewed out a stranger for being an idiot.
3. I eat a lot of junk food. And I hate salad.
Mama to Mason (7) and Asher the Crasher (3).
Married to Topher (10 years). 32 years young in Oklahoma.
I feel the same way!
Just to share a different perspective . . . I had the exact opposite experience. When my son arrived, it was not natural for me at all. And I think that because I was afraid to admit that it wasn't natural, and I struggled with it privately, it contributed to some mild PPD/PPA. Not everyone knows how to calm their screaming baby. Breastfeeding was very difficult for us. My son was very fussy and didn't calm for me, like I just assumed he would. I loved my son tremendously from the first moment I met him, but I also felt like this "motherly instinct" everyone was talking about was bullsh*t. It was a very scary time for me - I was constantly feeling insecure about my decisions, second guessing whether or not I was doing the right thing, and in general the first 6 months of my son's life were very difficult for me. Since then, I've grown into myself as a mother and I now feel like I'm a great mom. I'm confident in my decisions. And in hindsight I realize that I wasn't screwing up as much in that first 6 months as I thought I was. And I'm really looking forward to doing it again with a lot more experience and confidence under my belt.
Why am I sharing all of this? Because while I wish every woman could have that natural instinct from the beginning, I want to let the other FTMs out there know that if you don't feel like you have much instinct right away, that is TOTALLY normal as well. Not all of us know what we are doing the second they put a screaming baby on our chests and it can take some time for it to feel normal and natural. But it doesn't lessen what a great mommy you are!!!
How's that for some P&R on a Friday morning?
Sorry!! But it's sooo good!!
I'm terrified, too. I've always wanted to be a mom. When my mom and I used to walk to the grocery store when I was about 3, I used to stop people with babies and play with the babies. So I've always known I love kids.
Now that I am pregnant, I'm scared out of my mind. H will be fantastic, but I feel a lot of weight on my shoulders right now. I just have to keep reminding myself that women have done this for millions of years, and society is still going.
I even got my cousin to sleep a few weeks ago (she's a 2 year old mama's girl, and I was trying to give her mom a break from having a child clinging to her leg.) My cousin doesn't go to anyone but her mom, sister, and dad, but I actually got her to sleep. Made me think I can actually do this.
My other confession is that I am craving Mexican food like no other, but an too lazy to actually go get any. I need the sauce, I think. Something tangy.
Malcolm
I guess I don't understand it. I wish people would quit getting so butthurt over something trivial and grow some thicker skin. ::shrug:: Glad to see I'm not the only one! Must be a midwest thing.
Mama to Mason (7) and Asher the Crasher (3).
Married to Topher (10 years). 32 years young in Oklahoma.
I put on a pair of jeans from my floor and they smell terrible. I will probably wear them anyway though because I am too lazy to go back to my room and get a different pair much less do some much needed laundry.
You know what? Who needs pants anyway? FTS
I'm with ya on this!
I totally agree with you but I didn't feel like I was better after the baby was born. I didn't even want to look at him. And when I delivered the placenta I could feel my tear spread open and the placenta slide across my open flesh (wow... Sorry bout that... Way tmi). Then to make matters worse I was so angry with the world for what I went through I didn't bond with my son and didn't want to be around people for months. Yeah I am scared to death.
I'm going to be one of those women who if the baby is late I'll try to just keep it in there forever. I'm terrified of labor so I would really prefer to do it spontaneously when my body is ready versus knowing it's coming by being induced. I'll just keep telling LO don't worry stay in there as long as you want because mom really doesn't want to push you out anyways!
ETA I curse way too much and need to start getting that under control & I don't eat meat but this thread's got me wanting fried chicken. The fried skin is just too good.
Fried Chicken sounds awesome right now - I just am scared to eat anything in fear of throwing up.
My confession - I haven't talked to my mother in 2 weeks, and I really don't care to. We have a rocky relationship, and just talking to her stresses me out to the max.
Second confession - I'm really sick of 'friends' jumping on the bandwagon for organic food. I'm all for good healthy food, I agree that there's a lot in our food that their shouldn't be. But to wake up one morning and decide to be organic and talk about it 24/7 ANNOYING. And don't tell me how horrible McDonalds is for me, I freaking know it's bad, but if thats what I can keep down - I don't care.
Eh, I'm scared of being a parent and I've been one for over 2 years now
Seriously though, it's a daunting thing to raise another human and, IME at least, it doesn't get easier as they get older, it just gets more complicated. I mean, I guess it some ways it gets easier because at first you're just adjusting to everything, so I guess you do gain some confidence in your abilities, but I still constantly wonder if I'm "doing it right". I wish I could just fast forward for a minute to make sure that my kid turns out to be a happy, well-adjusted adult and not some serial killer or someone who hates my guts.
At first, again IME at least, it's all about trusting your instincts. Don't try to do things "right" just let your baby tell you what they need and give it to them. It's pretty easy when all they need is to sleep, eat, snuggle, and have a fresh diaper
*My Blog*
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I don't understand it either. This was especially hard as a teacher. I really had to watch myself around parents and kids.
OMG. DH and I curse so bad and sometimes we don't even know we've done it. DD is copying EVERYTHING now, so I am with you. I need to make a really big concious effort to stop.
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
I felt the exact same way with DS1. There were parts of the 2nd trimester that I loved, feeling that baby move inside of you is incredible! But mostly I was miserable. The minute I held him in my arms and looked into his eyes I knew I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
I agree- I was really scared about everything my first time around. I was going to be a single parent and that scared me so much. This time around I have my soon to be DH who will be there with me through everything and I couldnt be more excited!
couldn't agree more. it also ticks me off when people attribute all of their "cravings" to pregnancy. i have TONS of cravings when i'm not pregnant.
Same here. My aversions are definitely pregnancy related because I never have lasting aversions to cooked veggies and chicken (Which I haven't wanted either for roughly a month) but my cravings really aren't any different than pre-pregnancy.
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
oh yes, aversions are very real. but i think in general, women over-dramatize pregnancy.
Totally agree on the over-dramatization. When I have a craving for ice cream or Five Guys . . . it's pretty safe to say that's not pregnancy related. But I've also had some REALLY bizarre cravings . . . Like sushi AND donuts at 10am. That, most definitely is pregnancy related. LOL!
There are, seriously, things I do now that I would never have done or said before. I have no other explanation for it other than I'm extra crabby due to being PG and have no filter when I get ticked.
ETA: Maybe it's not that I'm more crabby than normal, or using PG as an excuse. Just that I am more willing to speak my mind and have less patience so it comes out more.
Mama to Mason (7) and Asher the Crasher (3).
Married to Topher (10 years). 32 years young in Oklahoma.
I think with the craving thing, at least IME, it has more to do with aversions and feeling poorly than anything. So I guess by default it's pregnancy related for me. By this I mean, things that I typically eat and enjoy don't sound good at all so it pushes me towards things that I might not usually eat as often, or might not think of otherwise. And if everything sounds bad, but only ONE (usually random) THING sounds good it's a totally different craving situation than I would have had not pregnant.
Also, kind of along the same lines, but not, it drives me nuts when I see people say "you're pregnant, not dying" or something along those lines to basically tell women to suck it up and that they don't deserve preferential treatment. While I don't necessarily believe that pregnant women deserve special treatment, I do think that there is a variety of experiences that can be had during pregnancy and some women have a really rough time.
If I can't get my head out of the toilet I can't exactly "suck it up" and perform my normal duties at 100% capacity like nothing is physically happening to me, you know? People who say that must have easy pregnancies because anyone who has had unrelenting M/S (or any other complications or extreme symptoms) would totally understand why pregnant women might need to actually listen to their bodies and take it easy sometimes. There really IS something physical happening that has to be considered. Maybe this is more of a UO than a FFFC
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I want to punch my Mom in the face! (sometimes)
She keeps getting on my case about what I should and shouldn't be eating. First off I lost 12 pounds in only 2 weeks trying to eat healthy and I didn't start out over weight (155 ish). I was throwing up 5-8 times a day. Now I eat what I want or what I'm craving and make sure I take my prenatals.
I pulled the PG card with my professor the other day because I did not want to dissect a cat (taking Anatomy and Physiology). I told her my morning sickness was really bad and the smell of the formalin on the cats really bothered me. She let me sit out.
I think it's the lack of patience thing. For me, I just feel like crap all. the. time. so I have no patience for anything right now, which also sometimes involves lacking a filter. So... not necessarily directly caused by pregnancy, but kind of something that has happened as a result of pregnancy symptoms.
*My Blog*
10/50 Read
my read shelf:
yep- same for me.