Did your Mother/Mother-in-Law go to your 1st appt?

BabyShipp · June 2012

My mom went with me to one of my u/s. Husband went to all the others. I only took someone with me for the u/s though. Did all but one of the other appointments solo. Husband joined for one just to see what they would be doing each visit, but there really was no need for him to go to every one.

I would in no way want my MIL(s) to go to my appointments. Too personal. Not that I don't care for them, its just awkward to me.

Delivery with my first, I told my DR to put on file that I was only allowed to have 2 people in the room per her orders even though our hospital allows 4. All I wanted was my husband and my mom. 24 hours of delivery, they took turns keeping me company. I had several family members say they wanted to be in the room and I just wasn't having it. It will be the same this time around.

Ultimately, its up to you. I think you handled the situation well with that text. Do what makes you feel comfortable because thats what matters right now! Good Luck!

ungraceful13 · June 2012

No one except my husband went with me for our first two appts that had an ultrasound. No one will go with us for any other appt either. I go with Dh or I go alone.

Jbosarge85 · June 2012

Only me and DH go to the appointments, after the u/s we did stick one of the u/s pictures on her fridge so she could see it, but that's all.

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · June 2012

I think your response was perfectly appropriate, and I would not have had my mom or MIL in for my first appointment either, that is for just me and DH to attend.

Eventually they will each come with me for a doppler appointment, but that will be all.

roxyttandme · June 2012

No. I'm 34 and don't tend to lean on my mom or MIL for more than family cookie recipes...

alkvoelker · June 2012

My MIL went to my first appointment last week, but she stayed in the waiting room since there was nothing spectacular to see....DH went with me to my first ultrasound today (think he was weirded out because it was internal though).

HappyMama30 · June 2012

Oh my goodness no! That first appointment is just for you and your partner... vaginal u/s or no vaginal u/s. If you're stuck for an excuse blame your Doctor. Tell her your Doc doesn not allow more than one "support person" during these appointments. That way you don't look like the bad guy. My MIL did come to our 20 week u/s with our second baby (because she was staying with us at the time), and it was stressful having her there. Just say no!

Kingston54 · June 2012

No - actually no one has ever gone to my doctor's appointments except DH and I. I think your reponse was perfect. If she doesn't get the hint you will have to make your DH spell it out for her!

CatiW2008 · June 2012

I think I would have looked at my husband and told him to politely explain to her that this is not quite her place.... and I agree with setting those boundaries now! If not, this will be happening not just throughout your pregnancy, but into other areas of your life as well! If she's this involved with your children now, just wait until they're born!

AlyssaT90 · June 2012

My MIL actually did go to my first appointment. My mom lives over 4 hours away so she want able to be there. At first I thought it would be a little weird to have her there but when it came down to it it wasn't bad at all. She stood behind me so she didn't see anything I didn't feel comfortable with her seeing and she was very excited to get to see baby's heartbeat. She then treated my husband and I to a celebratory brunch afterwards. For everyone saying that your MIL is "crazy" for wanting to be there, I think that's a little unfair. She is probably just really excited about her grand baby and was hoping to get to see the first glimps of LO. But I think you handled the situation very well with what you said. Try not to judge her since she's just acting out of excitement. But it's your pregnancy so you need to do whatever makes you comfortable.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

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