Feelings/stress stalling or stopping labor.

canoz · June 2012

Just wondering if the moms that already have given birth have a take on this. I'm a little worried that some anxiety and stress and emotions are going to stall or stop labor if I do go into it on my own. Does anyone has experience with this?

Back story about why this is on my mind. I had DS in 2010 in Australia. We came to visit Canada 4 months later to see family and while here he passed away from SIDS. The same hospital that he was initially taken to is the one that I could potentially deliver in and it is causing my so much stress just thinking about it. I have been back there once already due to some bleeding with the pregnancy and it did cause me alot of anxiety at the time because of the memories.

I have hired a doula and spoken to my midwives about this so that they are aware of this situation and at this point I don't know if I will have a home birth or have to deliver in the hospital. I don't know if there is anything else I can really do at this point to help other than counselling which I have done in the past and don't find particulary helpful.

Noethola · June 2012

So sorry for your loss. Perhaps you can just focus on how your first birth was successful. Think about how much this baby needs you to not be stressed. Lots of t & ps your way.

tokenhoser · June 2012

Some of the hypnosis stuff might be beneficial to you to deal with this in the moment - I didn't go that route, but many on this board did/do hypnobirthing or hypnobabies. I did read "Birthing from Within" which has a lot of visualization exercises. I would say the key for you will be staying with your current birth and not going back to that terrible experience.

And a home birth might be a great idea, if you're able (I'm in Canada and I know the midwife access to do this can be difficult to access).

RockyMtnMama · June 2012

So sorry about that terrible connection with the hospital.

I also agree that talking with your doula, reading Birthing from Within and some hypno babies/birthing might help relieve the stress. Maybe this new baby and birth experience will be very healing for you.

As for emotions stopping labor, I totally agree with that happening. Ina May also talks about it in her books. With my first I think I was subconciously was waiting for my sister to get to town and didn't go into active labor for 8-10 hours until I knew she had landed and was headed to the hospital.

canoz · June 2012

tokenhoser:

Some of the hypnosis stuff might be beneficial to you to deal with this in the moment - I didn't go that route, but many on this board did/do hypnobirthing or hypnobabies. I did read "Birthing from Within" which has a lot of visualization exercises. I would say the key for you will be staying with your current birth and not going back to that terrible experience.

And a home birth might be a great idea, if you're able (I'm in Canada and I know the midwife access to do this can be difficult to access).

Thanks for the hypno suggestions. That didn't even cross my mind and I remember seeing it being offered in the area so I'll check that out. Along with the book too, I've been reading Ina May's books which opened my mind to this.

canoz · June 2012

RockyMtnMama:

So sorry about that terrible connection with the hospital.

I also agree that talking with your doula, reading Birthing from Within and some hypno babies/birthing might help relieve the stress. Maybe this new baby and birth experience will be very healing for you.

As for emotions stopping labor, I totally agree with that happening. Ina May also talks about it in her books. With my first I think I was subconciously was waiting for my sister to get to town and didn't go into active labor for 8-10 hours until I knew she had landed and was headed to the hospital.

Thank you. I've been reading Ina May's books and she talks about it stalling labor but I don't know anyone that has personally experienced it. I'm going to try yours and PPs suggestions.

judahsmommy1 · June 2012

First, I am so sorry for your loss! I have never lost a child so I honestly don't know if what I'm suggesting will be helpful to you.

The first thing, I was wondering if you've considered a few counseling sessions, specifically to discuss your feelings about the birth of this baby and how it connects to the child that you lost?

The second thing, would it be possible to spend a little bit of time at the hospital before giving birth? When you get there, (several weeks before your baby's due date) maybe you could go to the area of the hospital where you were with your other L.O. Spend some time remembering your L.O. and try to make a connection with that specific part of the hospital (as opposed to the entire thing.) Then (this would take some prep work, but I imagine if you called the hospital and explained the situation and asked for their assistance they would probably be willing) spend a little bit of time in a birthing suite and recovery room. Spend time thinking about your experience in labor and the excitement of bringing your new baby into the world. Try to picture the wonderful moments of meeting your new baby, holding them for the first time, kissing their cheeks, etc... Try to make that area of the hospital a very positive one in your mind that you could look forward to being in.You might need to do that on two separate days since it seems like both experiences would be very draining.

Again, I have no idea if that would be helpful or not. But my concern is that even if you do work toward a home birth, there is still a possibility that you could wind up in the hospital if there are complications.

stoneycakes · June 2012

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. I had a slightly similar experience, although definitely not to the extent that you have suffered, but I will share what worked for me in case it could possibly help.

I had a miscarriage which was not discovered until I was almost 14 weeks along. I was advised to get a D&C, which I did at the local hospital. It was then discovered that I had had a partial molar pregnancy and that I needed to follow up on a regular basis with blood tests at that same hospital for eight months. We were informed that we could not TTC again until my blood levels were in the clear. I took it extremely hard, emotionally, and had a lot of negative associations with the hospital.

When I became pregnant again, I chose to go to this hospital again because they were the most pro-natural birth in the area. I remember the first time I went for a prenatal visit, I parked the car in the same area that we had been parked for the D&C and I felt physically nauseous and was afraid I might have an anxiety attack. What worked for me was just visiting the hospital on a regular basis for my prenatal appointments and eventually, as I progressed in my pregnancy and came to love the midwives I visited, the anxiety disappeared.

I agree with the PP that you may find visiting the hospital before you deliver to be helpful in making some better associations. I wish you the best with your labor and delivery.

mrs+harlow · June 2012

I am so sorry about your loss.(((( hugs))))

I used Hypnobabies and while laboring for nearly 16 hours at home it really helped me distress and transport myself. At one point, I was outside in a chair listening to my affirmation CD and completely zoned out/dozed off during some pretty hefty contractions. I was able to completely relax despite internal and external stressors. I highly recommend it!

Best wishes to you and baby on a happy and healthy delivery!

canoz · June 2012

stoneycakes:

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. I had a slightly similar experience, although definitely not to the extent that you have suffered, but I will share what worked for me in case it could possibly help.

I had a miscarriage which was not discovered until I was almost 14 weeks along. I was advised to get a D&C, which I did at the local hospital. It was then discovered that I had had a partial molar pregnancy and that I needed to follow up on a regular basis with blood tests at that same hospital for eight months. We were informed that we could not TTC again until my blood levels were in the clear. I took it extremely hard, emotionally, and had a lot of negative associations with the hospital.

When I became pregnant again, I chose to go to this hospital again because they were the most pro-natural birth in the area. I remember the first time I went for a prenatal visit, I parked the car in the same area that we had been parked for the D&C and I felt physically nauseous and was afraid I might have an anxiety attack. What worked for me was just visiting the hospital on a regular basis for my prenatal appointments and eventually, as I progressed in my pregnancy and came to love the midwives I visited, the anxiety disappeared.

I agree with the PP that you may find visiting the hospital before you deliver to be helpful in making some better associations. I wish you the best with your labor and delivery.

What you are saying makes absolute sense, thank you for your take on this. I think this along with the hynobabies may be something that will help.

Thank you everyone for your responses. I really appreciate the advice that I was given.

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