Vent/possible reality check needed

Re: Vent/possible reality check needed

• jf198400 member

  June 2012

  What your DH is doing is absolutely not fair to you or to your child.  It sounds like you've tried to work through this before and it's happening again.  It may be time to seek a marriage counselor.  He may need an objective 3rd party to help him "get it".

  
  
  
  
  

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• MammaBear81 member

  June 2012

  duchess0727:

  I don't know if you are being unreasonable - if he had these things planned before he knew he was traveling, then I wouldn't make him cancel.  You are both entitled to your time away with friends.  If he does it every weekend, that's one thing, but I know my husbands plans with friends are rare so he would be really upset to cancel. 

  Find yourself a mother's helper at least one or two nights a week so you can get on top of your housework, get the kids to bed on time and catch up on your work.  Even though my husband is home most nights, we have 3 kids and I don't get to sit down until after 9 pm.  If I need to, I ask my sitter to stay and help out so I can get a handle on things.  It's worth the extra $ to feel sane.  Also, sit down with hubby and plan some things that you can do as a family and put a weekend for you on the calendar while you are talking and make sure you get a break too. 

  I agree with this.  I think you are within your right to be frustrated and upset (because his job wasn't supposed to have this much travel) but I do think you are being unreasonable asking him to cancel his camping trip.  He planned it months ago, and he didn't know that he would be traveling this much.

  Before he goes away stock up on things you need, and precook and freeze a few meals.  Meal plan so you know what you having when so there is no "cr@p what are we eating today" ... it takes a lot of stress off of housework if you plan it out.

  I think you are right to discuss with him about looking for another job (with less travel), but if this one is paying the bills I wouldn't have him jeopardize losing it while he's looking for another, just be careful about interviews and such (coming from a person who's DH was unemployed for a year).
  

  
  
    
  

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• stdldb29

  June 2012

  My DH travels lots, if he is traveling more than usual--he will not schedule things on the weekend because he knows that we need him at home and we normally spend the whole weekend as a family. Plus, he also knows that when he is away, I do not sleep well...at all. 

  We have no family within 700 miles...I manage without him, but I really like him home. 

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• Kellyt2012 member

  July 2012

  If my husband traveled that much I would hope that he would want to be home with his family in his spare time. I am sure it is hard to hear that he would prefer to be with his friends. I would say something like "the kids aren't getting any younger" or something about not seeing the kids much. Good luck!

  

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