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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
dunvilles
member
Tired of phone calls and "advice".
dunvilles
member
This is my 5th miscarriage and I am so tired of phone calls and unsolicited advice! I have been told:
- "Just take a year off, you'll get pregnant then"
-"You are too stressed, that is causing you to miscarry"
-" I am so sorry about your loss, I had a loss once.... (then go on to tell me their story)"
-"It was just mean to be..."
-"that is god's way of ending something that shouldn't have been..."
-"You should have a D&C to clean everything out, then you'll get pregnant"
-"Ask your doctor X,Y,Z... it worked for me!"
The list goes on... and on... and on... I AM SO OVER IT! I do not want to hear other people's stories unless I ask for it, I also do not want phone calls that end with me consoling others because they are crying.
My MIL has called the past two days and left messages "I'm so sorry about the baaaabbbyyyy.... I will call back later to talk to you about it..." OMG, NO! I do not want sympathy calls!!! I've been waiting for this pregnancy to end for 4 weeks because the doctor and I knew it would... we were just waiting. I finally have some closure...
Had to vent...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Tired of phone calls and "advice".
I'm so sorry you're going through this. You have the right to talk about it on your terms. This is a very tender time and I hope people can understand that.
Venting is good! Thinking of you today
First pregnancy - blighted ovum, miscarriage at 10 weeks, Apr./May 2012
Second BFP 9/19/12 - Hoping for our Rainbow Baby!
Argh, I am so with you! I was also told the "maybe you should take a year off to re-set your body" - WTF, seriously you think my body has a re-set button?
Also all those "it wasn't meant to be" - okay great, so why did I get pregnant in the first place if it wasn't meant to be? So it was "meant" that I should lose all these babies? Awesome.
I totally get what you are saying I am getting so angry at people lately.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I've heard a few of these already, too.
Someone also told me "You can't force these things." Like, I wanted it too badly and that's why I miscarried? Or what? It makes no sense.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm glad you can vent to us though... that always helped me a lot. I hope things get better for you! Lots of thoughts and prayers headed your way!
<<HUGS>>
BFP #2 12/20/11 | EDD 8/24/12 | Natural M/C 12/22/11
BFP #3 5/13/12 (Mother's Day!) | EDD 1/23/13 | Natural M/C 6/9/12 (blighted ovum discovered 6/7/12 at 7w1d)
"And to think when their little eyes opened, the first thing they saw was the face of Jesus."
My Ovulation Chart | My Baby Name List
I got one of those today: "oh well, you'll get pregnant again, don't worry."
And I said back to her, "yes, I might. But this baby is dead." Stopped the woman in her tracks.
It's as if people don't understand that each one is an individual, irreplaceable baby. It's not like I dropped my ice cream on the floor and can just buy another one.