Two Under 2

Would you do it again?

DH and I are thinking about when we will start trying for LO #2.  If you had the chance to go back, would you have 2 under 2?  We wanted to start trying as soon as DS turns one but it makes me super nervous thinking of two children under 2 yrs old.  DH is 35 yrs old and doesn't want to be 40 with a newborn if we decide to have three children.
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Re: Would you do it again?

  • Definitely and we plan to, although we might leave a little more spacing between #2 and #3 but then have #3 and #4 be 2u2. 

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  • Yes, we would absolutely do it again!
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  • Would I do my current 2u2 again? Absolutely. I can't imagine life without either of them and wouldn't trade these babies or this life for anything. They adore each other and I'm excited to watch them grow up together and hopefully be good friends.

    Do I plan to do 2u2 in the future, if we should decide we want #3? Nope. If we have #3 we would want #2 to be at least 26ish months, but not more than 3 years. We want all the kids somewhat close in age, but need a break from the haze of sleep deprivation. 

    Mama to two sweet girls
    DD1 Feb 2010
    DD2 Sept 2011


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  • imagememali26:

    Would I do my current 2u2 again? Absolutely. I can't imagine life without either of them and wouldn't trade these babies or this life for anything. They adore each other and I'm excited to watch them grow up together and hopefully be good friends.

    Do I plan to do 2u2 in the future, if we should decide we want #3? Nope. If we have #3 we would want #2 to be at least 26ish months, but not more than 3 years. We want all the kids somewhat close in age, but need a break from the haze of sleep deprivation. 

    Exactly this. We started to ttc when we would have over a 2 year age difference between 2-3, but if it took a long time to ttc and there was going to be 3+ years, I'd likely just stick with 2. I definitely needed a break for my physical health in getting a break between closely spaced pregnancies as well as dealing with it mentally.

    I loved having 2u2 the first time around and am glad my kids will have each other to play with when we go through the pregnant stage again. My 2u2 are so close already and I feel the benefits of 2u2 far outweighed the disadvantages.

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  • Yes. My first two are 14 months apart and the transition was super easy.

    The 18 month age gap I'm dealing with now between DD2 and DD3, not so much. If I were you, I'd get KU now!

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  • In all honesty at this point NO, do I love my youngest yes, am I glad we had him yes, but do I wish there was more time between them YES. I feel like my toddler had to grow up too fast that he didn't while I was pregnant or now with an infant in the house get the babying he deserved. I also feel like my lo doesn't get the time he deserves either.  I also feel like I never have a moment without changing a diaper, feeding some one or listening to one or mom kid crying. 

    I know I'm very new to this but I feel like having two so close I'm missing out on the good parts of having babies.  I liked having my first two spaced out more. 

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  • While I enjoy having our kids close at the age they are now, (they are 25 months apart) I would NOT do it again.  We are on the fence about #3 and I want a larger age gap.  We had a REALLY hard time going from 1-2 kids.
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  • kagl08kagl08 member
    I would without a doubt but only to get my 2 current kids. I have no intention of doing this again for a 3rd, we are DONE anyway. I agree with PP that we are just getting to a point where it's fun with both kids and I don't think we would have gotten here for a long time if we had a larger gap between kids. I like that we got all the sleep deprivation out of the way and that the newborn stage is done! Makes 2u2 so worth it! But I wouldn't do 2u2 again for a 3rd.
  • imageceliabwatson:

    Definitely and we plan to, although we might leave a little more spacing between #2 and #3 but then have #3 and #4 be 2u2. 


     

     

     
  • Would I do it again?  Yes.

    Was it easy?  No.

    I feel like the benefits we are reaping now of having our kids close in age is worth the efforts we have made and continue to make caring for two tiny kiddos.  As they get older they are getting closer and closer which is awesome to see.  I am happy they have one another :).

    Married 6/28/03

    Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10

    4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014

    *~*~*~*~*

    No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.

    "Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens

     

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  • imagebellelamb:

    In all honesty at this point NO, do I love my youngest yes, am I glad we had him yes, but do I wish there was more time between them YES. I feel like my toddler had to grow up too fast that he didn't while I was pregnant or now with an infant in the house get the babying he deserved. I also feel like my lo doesn't get the time he deserves either.  I also feel like I never have a moment without changing a diaper, feeding some one or listening to one or mom kid crying. 

    This...exactly this. I have a six week old and an 18 month old, and frankly it's about staying afloat. It's about which kid to rescue from crying first. I totally agree that my oldest is having to grow up faster and I sometimes feel guilty because of it. On the other hand, we had our boys so close together because we wanted them to be close in age and have fun together and be best friends etc. It has definitely taken some time to get used to, and I'm not as nutso as I thought I would be- but it is the HARDEST thing I have ever done. When people ask us about #3 I always laugh and say that "even so much as a Cricket better not get pregnant in my yard until these boys are potty trained"- and I am dead serious! lol As of right now, today, there may not be a number three (and neither one of my kids have had a meltdown today to influence that decision lol)

     There are pro's and con's, I almost feel like everything else is on hold like my marriage, vacation, friendships, work etc. All of my time is dedicated to the boys, and frankly going to walmart is now my vacation.

    Would I do it again? It's hard to say- I definitely think it will be easier in the long haul when it comes to routine and the boys being on the same ball team etc. But I really shouldn't have taken for granted how easy it was with one.

    Someone told me that it's harder to have Two under 2 than it is to have twins....she was right!

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  • Yes. The first few months were rocky and we had our moments of insanity, but it has been a blessing. I was so sick with dd2 and if I had to chase a toddler while dealing with that, I probably would have lost it. DD1 didn't crawl until she was 10 months, so I didn't have to chase her everywhere until I was 8 months along and felt better. I love watching them together, they play with the same toys, they can share most of the same snacks. We were very lucky that both girls sttn at around 5 months. I feel that both kids get the attention they deserve. I never felt that dd1 had to grow up too soon.
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  • imageceliabwatson:

    Definitely and we plan to, although we might leave a little more spacing between #2 and #3 but then have #3 and #4 be 2u2. 

     

    This is exactly

    (except mine would be #5 & #6) 

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  • Thank you for posting this! I just found out I am pregnant again and their age difference will be 15 months. Both DH and I wanted to have our 2 kids close in age. We know it will be hard, specially in the beginning, but we think the benefits are worth the effort. It's awesome to hear most of you ladies don't regret it doing it =)
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  • QmommyQmommy member
    Absolutely!  I want 3u3!  Yes there is some chaos but I wouldn't change it for the world.  My girls are 18 months apart and DD1 had no problem transitioning to life with a baby.  I even tandem nursed for 6 months (just weaned DD1 at the beginning of June)!  :)    There are times when I had to decide who to console first but it all worked out.  I don't think DD1 had to grow up any faster when DD2 arrived.  She's 2 and I treat her as such.  I quickly learned how to BF while walking and playing with DD1.  While DD2 naps I get quality time with DD1 and visa versa.     
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  • Yes, and we are!

    My 2 boys are exactly 24 months apart (birthdays are 2 days apart) and DD is due right after they turn 4 and 2. My boys play so much and so well together now that I'm not really worried about them with the baby -- I can deal with her while they're occupied with each other. 

    Are there things that are hard about having them close in age? Yes. But for me/us, I think the long-term benefits outweigh the cons. 

    Aidan Jake 7/25/08 Cooper Cole 7/27/10 Tessa Morgan 8/9/12
  • No, I would not.
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  • If you would have asked me before dd was 2months I would have said no way. Now I love it. Ours were actually 2u1, so I'm not sure the differences. We actually want to start trying for the 3rd when shes a year. 
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  • 100% yes! 
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  • Our first two are 14 months apart, and we planned on doing it again. I had a miscarriage last year, but they would've been 15 months apart. Now, DS and #3 will be 20 months apart.
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  • Yep!  We have a 22 month age gap between our first and second, 21 months in between our second and third, and there will be just under 17 months in between our third and fourth kiddos.  However, if we have a fifth, there will most likely be a larger age gap (probably around 3 years).

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  • delg23delg23 member

    I'll be the voice of dissent. I would not do it again. I wouldn't give up either of my children for the world but you know if I could wait a little while and have the same DS#2 I would. But maybe I am still in the difficult part... 

    ETA: woa, I didn't read other comments. People actually already said they wouldn't. Usually when this stuff gets posted everyone says yes they would do it again. I think it depends on which point in the process they are. like people w/ a 4/2 would say yes but no0bs like me say no. :D 

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  • Yes, I'd do it again - well, I am!  DS1 and DS2 are 19.5 months apart, and there will be approx. 16 months between #2 and #3. 
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  • I'm on the fence. This has been soo tough but very fulfilling. I'm either done at two kids or will take a break and then do another 2u2 again.

    We ultimately wanted 4 kids and I do feel a certain accomplishment and joy watching them grow up together. I wouldn't want to have #3 with a huge age age between kids so if I get pg with #3, DC #4 would be written in the books ASAP. 

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  • I would do it again.
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  • imageceliabwatson:

    Definitely and we plan to, although we might leave a little more spacing between #2 and #3 but then have #3 and #4 be 2u2. 

    This is our hope as well (two sets of 2u2, about 3-4 years apart). 

    I can't answer the OP's question because #2 is not here yet, but I will say that we planned and tried for #2, it was not an oops by any means. 

     

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  • laura1laura1 member

    Yup, I would.  My 2 LOVE each other.  They do everything together, and play dates are easy because in a way they are all around the same age.   It has hard parts, but doesn't everything with parenting?  My sister's 2 kids are 4 years apart, and that has its own set of challenges.  Her older one wasn't napping when the new baby arrived so she had no down time at all during the day...whereas I get a 1-2 hour break still (DS doesn't nap, but he gets quiet time).   

    I don't think I could have done #3 as 2u2 again - not because I didn't like having 2u2 but having a third kid to worry about would have been too much for me with the 2 little ones.  This time DD will be 2.5 and DS will be almost 4 when #3 arrives - DS is potty trained, and I am hoping DD will be too.  The only thing I worry about is that my first 2 are so close that I hope #3 won't feel left out.   

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  • Absolutely yes. In fact, we plan to! #3 was going to be 23 months younger than DD2 but I lost that pregnancy. I hope to have #3 and #4 as close together as possible. My daughters are 14 months apart which I think is great. I'm going to shoot for a 12-18 month age difference with the next two.
    Anneliese Olive 11/5/09
    Hazel Dianna 1/8/11
    Luna Valentine 4/25/13


  • Yes, but I will definitely have a larger gap before the next.  Having a very demanding mobile 1 yr old DS with a terrible 2s DD has slowed us down a bit.  I know it's only temporary so I will survive, but it's exhausting.  I'm able to function and keep things together, but I'm more tired than ever part emotion part physical.  I've definitely lowered my standards a bit, but some people probably would have found them too high anyway.
    Anna Kate 10.17.2009 Alexander 6.10.2011 Baby Girl 6.2014
  • I used to pray that I could be a "member" of this board and I hardly squeaked by...my kids are 21 months apart, I got pg with my youngest DD when my oldest DD was 13 months.  I loved being pg, my oldest DD was very helpful and very sweet...we even moved and I changed jobs while I was 6 months pg with a 19 month old.  Then, my youngest DD was born and she was a very difficult baby, the first 7 months were a complete blur, I do not remember major milestones and holiday's but now that they are nearly 3 and a half and 20 months I can't imagine anything else, I love how they are sisters together and friends (except the fighting over everything with no warning, LOL).  There are times I wish I could have had more time alone with my oldest DD and could have spent the time with her and experienced things with just her but I am an only child and I wanted a sibling for her to grow up with (there are no cousins).  Of course I wouldn't change things.  There are times when I think "what was I thinking" but I can't imagine it any other way.  You will decide what is right for your family, or you will make it work...no matter what happens.  For DH and I we just new the time was right to try for another baby and it worked.  Now that our youngest is nearly 20 months neither of us knows what is right - try again or get "fixed"...I think it means we are done but part of me still wishes we could have another one.  I think for me it is because we lost our first baby and I will always have an aching heart for him...our family will never be complete no matter how many kids we have.
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  • absolutely! we will prob have 4 kids and we plan for them all to be 2U2 spacing
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