hard times for this mama

squireremillard · June 2012

To have to think about divorce at 8 1/2 months and wondering how you will survive alone with two kids because your husband is leaving you? Wow how this sucks. When will I wake up and realize it's all been a terrible dream? I know many women have done what I'm going through and make it fine, this is the worst thing thats probably ever happened to me . My parents have been married 34 years and I just never thought this would happen to me, and pregnant non the less. I'm so worried about my little boy and how the stress I have experience throughout this pregnancy will effect him, our daughter seems unphased by it at this time she is just 22 months. I worry about her and long term effect. I know that things will get better, but man this is hard. He is still living here, but looking at apartments and what not for himself and the kids. He works 4 nights a week and I do not want to share our newborn with him. How can he take a nursing baby from it's mama? He also thinks that he can just walk away and not have to pay anything. Is he crazy? yes I think.

mindymaske · June 2012

I bet its rough, but someday you will get thru it and be even stronger. I hope you have a good support system to lean on

emtjen79 · June 2012

Lots of T&P your way. I know you will find inner strength you never knew was there. Your children will see the strong woman that will get them though this tough time and will never forget it.

I wish I had more to say.

P.S. I am not sure what state you live in but shared custody of a true newborn/infant usually doesn't happen. They will give daytime visits but like you mentioned the baby can't be away from you for long.

mollyxcate · June 2012

I don't have any advice to offer you but all I can say is I'm so sorry you have to go through this. But you're a mom! You're mom tough and I know you can do this!! If you ever need to someone to talk to you know we are all here for you! Stay strong!!

MoFree · June 2012

I am very sorry you are going through such a hard time. I don't know the whole story, but you are doing what is best for your children and they will admire your strength. I suggest you speak with an attorney familiar with family law in your state. Is there a Legal Services or other non profit legal group who can advise you on parental rights. GL to you and your kids.

If you are really afraid he will take your children, legally or not, then maybe you should move to a safer environment. Do you have family who cn help you?

LilTexasPeanut · June 2012

My heart goes out to you, and to your situation. What a tough situation to face head on. Pregnancy and the loss of a relationship?!? You will pull through for the sake of your kids, and put on a brave face...even if it hurts like hell. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.

I agree with PP that you need to contact an attorney and some sort of legal advice and protect yourself first. It makes it very "real" when outsiders are brought in, but the reality is that this situation could get very sticky, very quickly. You need to pull out all the stops and make sure that all three parties (you, your children, your husband) involved are protected, regardless of whom is in the wrong.

If at any time you genuinely feel that someone could "take" your children away without a legal cause (CPS/Child Welfare), it is time to simply pick up the phone and call your local law enforcement authorities. It doesn't have to be a dramatic situation, but you can simply call or even stop in at any time. You explaining what you may possibly be facing to them, will give them advance notice, and you information from their side on what you can expect from them should your husband "threaten" to separate you from your children.

Big hugs to you and I hope a peaceful resolution finds you soon, and you have a support system. We'll be here on this board to listen to you!!!

irer · June 2012

I am so sorry you are going through this.

squireremillard · June 2012

It's not that he wants to take the kids away, I'm just talking about sharing custody. We live in a 50/50 state. How can I let my newborn nursing baby go with dad for a week or even a couple days at a time? How do I cope with sharing the children. My daughter hasn't really spent much time away from me until recently, and with gma and gpa for a day away kind of deal. She spends most waking time with me or at daycare where I work. Daddy doesn't do much for her at home, and she is often comforted more by me than daddy. They do not have the typical daddy daughter relationship even at 22 months. When she doesn't want to kiss him or give him affection, he gets mad and says go get out I dont want to see you either. It makes me feel bad for her. He gets all hurt about it, I can't help but wonder how they will be when I am not around?

alrighthamilton · June 2012

I'm really sorry you're going through this. My dad left my mom when she was 8 1/2 months pregnant and I was four. Except, he moved across the country and didn't want anything to do with us. My mom said it was the hardest thing she has ever had to go through, but she persevered and is the best parent my brother and I could hope for. This was over 30 years ago, but I imagine the feelings are the same. You'll get through it, and your kids will too, it's just really unfortunate. Good luck.

Snow__White__Queen · June 2012

There's a lot of wonderful ladies on the Single Parents board that always seem to know what to do and how to deal. I'm so sorry you're going through this! *big hugs your way*

ematthews920 · June 2012

I'm sorry you have to go through this! I can only imagine how you're feeling. You'll definitely come out of this a stronger woman, though. Having to share custody is difficult in my experience, but that's because my Ex makes it that way. I truly hope it gets easier for you.

And...he's crazy if he thinks he won't have to pay anything! What?!

Reilly626 · June 2012

Wow he sounds like a real creep. Did he meet someone else? I'm sorry- you are a strong person and will do fine- make sure you take him for every penny!

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