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2nd Trimester
Having to get rid of a pet..
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Re: Having to get rid of a pet..
I don't know how far along you are however.. as everyone else has said you can train your dog. Especially since he is still a puppy. Some dogs do have more of an aggressive tendency than others but you can break out of that in an early stage. You have to be firm and make him understand that you both are the alphas and he is your underling. If you don't do that a dog ( especially a breed that is dominate) will take control your household.
I have a rotty. We got him at about 4 years old. He didn't take well to being the non dominate male in the house. He was always test our authority. In fact he claimed he and would get so angry and DH when he got anywhere near me. Once we showed him who was boss he accepted his place in the pack and now is very loyal and protective to everyone. He didn't really care about the baby crying thing when I played it on youtube to get them used to having a baby around. When we did bring DD home he was very nervous and always licked his lips. I googled it and found its a sign of nervousness. He just didn't know what to do. Once we asserted that she was a member of our family he accepted her. NOW if she ever crys or seems upset he is right there trying to console her. If she wakes up in the middle of the night crying he lets us know.
Dogs are very VERY pack oriented. Sorry to beat this into the ground but I want to make sure you understand. Train him early!
About every 8 seconds a dog is put down somewhere in the US because of irresponsible people like you.
ETA: People like you OP.
Oh my god, this would devastate me. Seriously. I have a hard time with the commercials that show shelter dogs. I commend you for doing what you do. I think if I had to sit in that area, I'd come home with 10 dogs a week.
This.
Woah. I totally disagree with this statement. You might have a perfectly well behaved dog pre-baby and that can all go completely out the window once a baby comes into the picture regardless of whether or not he listens to you. The fact this owner is recognizing the behavior and trying to find a viable and suitable solution before things go wrong deserves some recognition. I know too many people who had well behaved and well disciplined dogs that took your stance and paid the consequences once a child arrived on the picture.
Edited to say that I am the owner of 2 rescue dogs and had at least 2 puppies growing up. Yes. With the right training they can grow out of some of their behavior, but to recognize it and act upon it early on (not saying getting rid of the dog is the only option or even the best), is, in my opinion, the sign of a responsible owner.
So much of this.
Please sign up for some reputable obedience classes for both of you.
Stoopid pregnancy hormones, but I'm crying at the thought of your poor pup being one of those that we get in rescue who have no idea what they did "wrong" to make their "people" leave them. omg.
Wow. Nice to see you think caging them in a room by themselves is a good way to handle a cat's natural curiosity and playfulness. Bengals aren't fully domesticated, they're a bit unruly but their behavior in no way sounds destructive or hurtful. Nice. I hope your baby isn't curious or enjoys exploring things.
You all who are pro giving pets up, make me sick. My dog has epilepsy, do I fear he will have a seizure at some point when the baby cries, and I have to help them out at the same time... Yep, I do, but it was a commitment I made to both of these living breathing things. You just have to figure it out. Did you quit school because it was too tough? Do you quit a job, because your boss doesn't listen to you? What happens when your kid wakes up in the middle of the night, and decides to paint with what its left in the diaper for you? Haul the kid off to your parents or someone else to take care of what you should take care of? Are you going to call up the neighbor to come change a diaper for you, because you can't be bothered to do it?
Take some flipping responsibility for what YOU brought into your home. A dog is not just a animal. Its a living, breathing, being, that depends on you for TRAINING, feeding, and taking care of it.... just like the baby you are about to have. Get off your lazy asses, and do what you signed up for when you bought/adopted the animal.
OP:
If you feel like you aren't able to train the dog or have the resources to have him trained, I don't feel that there is anything wrong with finding him another good home. It isn't as if you're giving away a child. Your baby comes before a dog any day. If you don't think your family can help him get better, it isn't fair to the dog either. Someone else may be able to help him and make him happy. Don't let people make you feel guilty about that. If you are recognizing that it isn't working out, do what's best for your family.
Going to weigh in on the importance of training classes. We have a lab/beagle mix. She's extremely hyper and dominant. When she was a puppy, she was a ball of energy who ran around the house all the time and chewed everything with her sharp, tiny teeth. We did the training classes through PetSmart. They aren't very expensive and they WORK. We went through beginner, intermediate, and advanced. She's three years old now and the best dog you can ever imagine. A lot of it was puppy energy and curiosity, so we kept her busy and kept her mind occupied. There are some great toys that reward them for playing with pieces of food or small treats. They keep her busy for a long time and she loves them. For chewing, give her Kong or other "indestructible" chew toys. (that word is in quotes because she always managed to destroy them anyway!)
We adopted another dog about a year ago. He was a shelter dog - was abandoned when he was a puppy and then watched his two sisters get adopted, and then was taken to another shelter. He was 6 months old when we got him and had already seen so much. He hasn't needed training classes at all. He's so grateful to have a good home that he does whatever we ask. He does jump, so we are working with him on that, but you have to work with dogs on these kinds of behaviors because they don't know they are doing something bad.
Are we worried that our dogs will try to hurt our baby? Not really, and I'll tell you why. We have no intention of ever leaving our baby alone with the dogs. We will not put the baby in a situation where the dogs can hurt him. And when he gets older, he will be taught how to deal with dogs so that they won't hurt him when they play together.
Getting rid of them has never even been a conversation. We love our dogs - they are our first children. Will there be a period of adjustment? Of course! But we are educating ourselves and preparing our dogs (playing baby sounds for them, putting baby powder and lotion on ourselves so they can learn the scents, and when the baby is born we will bring home a blanket he was wrapped in before we bring him home so they can learn his scent too, etc)
There are other options rather than abandoning your pet. And no matter where you take them, they will feel abandoned. You are their person, after all.
Umm... did you miss the part about her being allergic?!?
It's just disgusting that you think a baby should come before a dog! (and I'm being sarcastic which some people may not recognize because they may actually believe that the dog should come first if they were in the home first.)
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
This is why I don't have a dog. I love dogs, but we are not in a position right now to properly care for and train one, so we are being responsible and waiting to get one.
If you weren't willing to accept the responsibility to begin with, you shouldn't have gotten the dog. Now that you have him, either take the responsibility of caring for him or finding him someone who will. If you choose the latter, be careful who you send your dog to and think long and hard before you get another - or maybe just don't.
First Child born
5/5/14 and 6/5/14
11/14
Chemical Pregnancy
9/5/15
Second after severe bleeding for 18 weeks due to subchorionic hematoma
Expecting Number 3 due 10/31/2020
Haha! I am a total dog person and love my dogs. They are well cared for and I think they will be ok once the baby comes, but if I thought they would be a danger to the baby or that our house would be utter chaos, I would find a loving home that was a better fit for them. It would be very very sad, but they are dogs and they could be happy in another loving home.
We have a dog with some issues. I thought she would calm down with time, but she's 3.5 years old now and still crazy hyper. When we got her, we knew she was part golden retriever, but we didn't know what she was mixed with. My husband had a golden once before and she was very calm. We expected the same this time. Turns out this dog is an australian sheppherd mix and has the energy of an aussie, not a golden. We don't have the free time or space to give her the exercise she should get, but we try our best. Anyway...
I think that when you adopt a pet, you have an obligation to do everything in your power to make it work before giving the pet up. So, we did a group beginner obedience class, then we did a one on one intermediate obedience class. My husband works with her at at least a few days a week to keep up what she learned in those classes. She needs some socializing, so we're going to drop her at doggie day camp at PetSmart for a half a day once in awhile. We are thinking about doing the advanced obedience class, too.
It may not be popular, but if it comes down to it and we have done everything we can and I feel like having her and a baby is unsafe for the baby, we will find her another home. I'm going to do everything I can to avoid that, but the baby's safety comes first. I enourage you to put your dog in training and try your best to make the situation safe. If it's not possible, please find a good home for the dog. Don't let her be put down. Good luck.
Couldn't be said any better. I work in animal rescue - it's INCREDIBLE the number of people who don't think a pet is a commitment. If it becomes inconvenient, for even a second, well, let's just take it to the pound or the shelter and let someone else take care of our problem. If you can't discipline a dog, nor the patience or commitment to take care of it and seek help, how do you expect to raise a child? Sorry, but they don't let you just drop them off at orphanages anymore when they become inconvenient.
People misread dog behavior as aggression all the time. One of my pups is food aggressive... that does not mean he is aggressive with people.
If you don't have the time to learn and understand dog behavior then you shouldn't own a dog. Dogs communicate differently than humans and things that could be viewed as aggressive can be them warning you because they are scared, uncomfortable, etc. One of my boys even looks vicious when he is playing...not aggressive. OP wont tell us the scenario in which the dog is deemed "aggressive" so it is unfair to assume it is aggressive toward people. Responses like this is what just frustrates me to no end.
To me, it's a bit like a college freshman falling pregnant, saying she isn't sure she can take care of the baby, and being told to sack up. Alright, maybe she should, but if she fails, I am worried her baby is going to end up abused or in a dumpster or something in that order. The dog could be happily re-homed. Surely OP knows that trainers and obedience classes exist, but this is still the solution she is putting forward. That says to me that she is not committed to training and integrating the animal into her growing family. Better to start looking for a new home now and avoid a last-minute shelter dump or euthanization or abusive solutions like hours and hours of crating once the baby gets here. I don't think many people can be scolded, admonished and berated into becoming model pet owners.
Seriously? He slobbers? That's a terrible reason. This is why our humane societies are so full and having to euthanize pets in need of homes. You should have thought about that before getting him. Pets aren't neat and they only learn what we teach them. A misbehaved pet is the product of a poor pet owner.
Just like people who discipline dogs for growling, then wonder why they bite...Growling is a good thing, a way of communicating, and not a sign of aggression or misbehavior.
Exactly!!!
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Nope. I'm also allergic, I take steps to alleviate/eliminate the effects. Such as meds on the rare bad day, and bathing my cats. Doesn't seem like that was her primary concern.
I've never heard of bathing cats and I've cats my whole life. I can't imagine my cat letting me bathe her without tearing me to shreds. Interesting. (This is not a criticism. I genuinely find it interesting.)
Really? I give my cat a bath about once a month. You've never heard of flea shampoo? That's what I do for my cat. No, she doesn't like it while I'm bathing her, but after I can tell she feels great and has more energy. I also give my dog and my rabbit a bath about once a month. The rabbit we have to bathe in baby shampoo because of sensitive skin. When I had my rat I bathed him too. If they were outside animals I would bathe them more often.
I'm not trying to be snarky but I can't believe that you have never heard of bathing your cat. Do you ever go to the pet aisle in a store? Or a pet store? The flea and tick shampoo is usually right there with the grooming supplies.
I hadn't either until a rainy night when my cat ran outside and got covered in mud. They just yowl a lot and that's it. Sounds weird, but it works really well if one has allergies.
Would it be better she got rid of her dog after it attacked her child? I am sure she had valid feelings for making this choice. The judge-factor in this thread is amazing.
Our main concern is our child right now. We have had him for a year & he has been to training also. We want to keep him, but don't want to risk any harm coming to the baby.
Are you following through with the training? Dogs honestly aren't that complex-if you teach them something and keep up with it, they're good. And exactly what about your dog's behavior indicates aggression toward humans/children? And what about slobber is harmful to your baby?
Oh I could care less about the slobber. That was a different poster & your dog's mouth is cleaner than your ass. So no one cares about the slobber. lol
We are following up with training. He is incredibly hyper & jumps all over people. He bites, which usually doesn't hurt, but it's the principal. Shows his teeth at us. He is more bad than aggressive, but we are just concerned. We are going to exhaust every option before making any decisions on him bc I want to give him the benifit of the doubt bc he is still just a puppy! My question was simply if anyone else was going to have to make some changes in that area for the safety of their babies. Not where I can drop him off bc I'm getting rid of him!