Feeling Hopeless Update

delino · June 2012

I'm starting to feel more and more that this just isn't going to happen. That we aren't going to be parents. My father said to me yesterday that he's ok with not being a grandparent and I shouldn't feel pressured. My heart shattered into a million peices...I know he always wanted a big family. I can't help but feel like I'm letting everyone down. I can't give my husband a child, my parents and in-laws a grandchild, my brother and SIL a neice/nephew and my nephew a cousin. I will forever be looked at like I'm broken and defective.

I don't know yet when we'll stop trying. We'll move foward with our frozen embryos, but I'm not feeling very good about it. After that...I don't know. Maybe we'll try again naturally knowing that it's extremely likely to end in another ectopic. Otherwise, it will probably be a year until we try IVF again...if we try IVF again. Or maybe we just start planning a life without children.

*Update* My RE said there was no reason that my cycle failed and has full confidence that if we keep going, we will get our baby (says the man whose bank account is much larger than mine). It turns out my clinics thaw rate (% of embryo's that survive the thaw) is much higher than I expected at 90%. He is fairly confident that both of my embies will survive the thaw and is not discounting my 2nd emby that's a lower grade. So...we are jumping right into a frozen cycle and will be doing a transfer late next week most likely. I'm still a bit pessimistic, but I will try to be more positive. Thank you again for your kind words and support. Love you all!

jenn0021 · June 2012

Oh Delino, I'm so sorry. I'm sending you a million ((hugs)). I don't know exactly how you are feeling but I can relate a tiny bit. I hate feeling defective and like a failure because I can't give my DH a baby. It just seems to easy for some people.

GL as you start having to make difficult decisions. You're in my thoughts.

kate6267 · June 2012

I am so sorry, Delino! I hope you can find hope in an unexpected place. Know that we are always here to listen.

HopingforChange · June 2012

Delino, I am so very sorry. I wish there was something I could say to help, but all I can do is send ((hugs)) and let you know that we're here for you.

vanessa lynne · June 2012

Oh Delino.. Don't give up. I'm thinking of you! ((hugs))

Gregermis · June 2012

HUGE ((hugs)) I know exactly how you feel... You can't put the pressure or the blame on yourself! IF sucks.... it just sucks!

I know it ended in another m/c but my first FET went sooooo much better than my fresh ET. I think because my ovaries weren't trying to come back down to normal size. I had three great betas which I'd never had with the two previous BFPs (IUI#1 and IVF#1)

I'm not going to tell you to stay positive, I feel like when people tell me that it just adds more pressure on me. I'm going to tell you to take care of you instead!! Read, watch trashy TV... whatever you need to distract yourself. Then one breath and one step at a time.

mork · June 2012

*****siggy*****

*BIG HUGS* my friend. Lots and lots of them.

Rawr08 · June 2012

Oh hun I am so sorry. I know where you are coming from, it is just sucha hard journey we are on. Sending you tons of love.

Laurakat81 · June 2012

I wish I had the magic words to make you feel better. Just know you're not alone. You've got a lot of people rooting for you. I'm praying you get your take home baby very soon! ((((hugs))))

mikeANDjen448 · June 2012

I'm very sorry Delino. I am nowhere near where you are at in terms of IVF-but I definitely feel defective. I really do wish there was something that any of us could say to help ease your burden and lighten your spirits. Please know you are not alone with the weight of your circumstance. We are all here for you. I pray that tomorrow brings a better day, full of hope and not despair.

Big squishy (((hugs)))

lavril · June 2012

I am so so sorry. I can relate to feeling like I'm letting everyone down and am defective. IF SUCKS. I'm so sorry. Big squishy (((HUGS))).

buckeyebaby814 · June 2012

Big ::HUGS:: hon. I am so sorry you're feeling this way. I don't know when you're planning on doing your FET, but consider taking time for yourself if possible.

you bunches!

KGS2003 · June 2012

Gregermis:
HUGE ((hugs)) I know exactly how you feel... You can't put the pressure or the blame on yourself! IF sucks.... it just sucks!

I know it ended in another m/c but my first FET went sooooo much better than my fresh ET. I think because my ovaries weren't trying to come back down to normal size.

I'm not going to tell you to stay positive, I feel like when people tell me that it just adds more pressure on me. I'm going to tell you to take care of you instead!! Read, watch trashy TV... whatever you need to distract yourself. Then one breath and one step at a time.

Gregermis said exactly what I would have.

(((Big Hugs))). That feeling of hopelessness can be so overwhelming. I wish there was more I coud say.

delino · June 2012

Thank you all for your kind words and support.

CashewsMommy · June 2012

{{{hugs}}} I am so sorry for everything you're going through hun!

stillbaking · June 2012

(((Big, big hugs))) I'm so sorry. I wish this journey could be easy for everyone.

amidkiff · June 2012

**ticker warning**

I wish you all the luck in the world with your FET! ((Big Hugs)) my friend.

Allie-Jo · June 2012

(((BIG HUGS))) sweetie! I am still pulling for you! I want this so bad to work out for you!

buckeyebaby814 · June 2012

I'm glad your appointment brought you some clarity and hope! I will be stalking you Smile

HopingforChange · June 2012

I am glad the thaw rates are good, and I hope the FET works. FX for success this time.

ufsandra85 · June 2012

I am so sorry. this is a terrible feeling

I really hope this frozen cycle is it and that you get your baby!

luvmyducks · June 2012

delino:

*Update* My RE said there was no reason that my cycle failed and has full confidence that if we keep going, we will get our baby (says the man whose bank account is much larger than mine). It turns out my clinics thaw rate (% of embryo's that survive the thaw) is much higher than I expected at 90%. He is fairly confident that both of my embies will survive the thaw and is not discounting my 2nd emby that's a lower grade. So...we are jumping right into a frozen cycle and will be doing a transfer late next week most likely. I'm still a bit pessimistic, but I will try to be more positive. Thank you again for your kind words and support. Love you all!

GL hon! I have everything crossed that this works!

Want a personalized experience?

Feeling Hopeless Update

Re: Feeling Hopeless Update

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

Feeling Hopeless **Update**

Re: Feeling Hopeless **Update**

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Feeling Hopeless Update

Re: Feeling Hopeless Update