Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: is anyone familiar with tx laws?
First, your child is entitled to support and love from BOTH parents. Open a case with the Texas Office of the Attorney General. Note: If you receive Medicaid, TANF or SNAP, they will open one for you; you don't have a choice. It takes about 15-18 months of you're on government assistance, or 18-24 if you file on your own. Child support is retroactive from birth.
Second, in Texas, the mother has sole legal and physical custody from birth in unwed couples. Should you CHOOSE, and I advise against it, you can have the father added to the birth certificate via the Acknowledgement of Paternity. It can be done at the hospital. Without it, there's no right for him to give up. He simply doesn't exist as the child's father.
Again, you should open a child support case. They will establish paternity, child support, custody, and visitation. It is free to you, he pays all court costs. It's relatively painless. Its a giant assembly line, and listening to the asinine excuses on why ppl don't pay is funny. I know just how hard it is to get past anger and bitterness. But, your child deserves their father. It isn't about what we want. Believe me, I'm struggling with this right now as I allow SD to see our child. Should he choose to terminate his rights, he can do so at anytime for any reason. It means he's still on the birth certificate, he just has no rights to the child. It also means you won't receive child support.
Even if his name isn't on the birth certificate? I am on government assistance and they keep trying to get me to file CS, but I don't want to go down that road at this time. They don't have father's name or anything..so how would they open a case with attorney general? (not being snarky, have always been curious about this mumbo jumbo so what you posted is SO helpful and informative..want to know more..)
Also, OP, as far as I understand your friend is CORRECT in that he cannot "sign over his rights" if there is not another adoptive father. But like PP said as well, as far as I know, if his name isn't on the birth certificate he basically isn't acknowledged as the father/ having any rights anyway.
I was told they'd end all rights except for CHIP, the baby's Medicaid. SNAP, TANF, and your Medicaid. The way the state sees it, and I agree, is that the father is legally obligated to provide for the child. Why should the state be footing the bill?
Child support gives the father the right to petition for custody, but he's not entitled to it...and Texas rarely finds in favor of the father. My ex had a verifiable claim to custody of his youngest son. His ex wife and I both gave testimony he'd make a good father. Her friends testified she made the whole thing up. And she STILL got custody. Basically, you'd have to be smoking crack, in front of a cop, while pimping yourself and holding the baby for the state to even look at the case.
great thanks. I see. I got TANF and my medicaid denied (supposedly, even though they just sent me a new medicaid card), but got renewed for SNAP and Jude's Medicaid.
So Jude's father isn't on the BC, and lives in Arizona. How do you think they would handle that??
I'm honestly afraid to file child support because I know his father would try to get some custody/ visitation..and I don't want DS having to go back and forth on a plane when he is 5 years old or whatever..:(. And plus BD isn't exactly responsible (DUI, etc), so even though we are on good terms and I am not against letting him see DS, I would be afraid for him to get visitation and neglect or be a bad influence on DS. Anyways, its just hard right now because I am going to get my Master's and finish an internship (my career path requires internship hours to get lisenced), and paying for DC sucks... but in a year or two from now I don't think I would even blink about missing CS, the few hundred bucks a month, because I'll have a good job and stuff. I just don't think it is worth it to risk having to give up DS to visitation. Sorry for the long/ off topic post...
Anyways, OP, just don't put his name on the BC..
My cousins BD left her at a few weeks pregnant and gave her so much crap during her pregnancy that not only did she leave his name off the BC, but in the state she lives in (Arkansas) she legally adopted her own child as the only way of ensuring his rights were relinquished. She didn't do this to be a b!tch, but instead realized the heartache he and his family were constantly giving her was not worth the money she would receive. Yes, it is probably the more challenging route to go, but if it is something you feel you must do, then you just have to do it. No one should blame you for that.
I wish you the best of luck during these hard times.
agreed
agreed