Single Parents

is anyone familiar with tx laws?

I found out I was pregnant in april. I had broken up with the BD in february. He was lying and going behind my back and becoming abusive. He had always been abusive emotionally but that was when he had a bad day and I was just who he took it out on and it wasnt all the time. But recently he had started throwing my things at me when we fought and slammed my foot in my car door. When I found out I was pregnant, he wanted to get back together. I did not. I left him for good reasons and a baby wouldnt fix or change anything. He made many threats, from suicide, to taking my baby from me after he/she was born. He has said he wants nothing to do with me or the baby and wants no visitation and doesnt want to pay child support. I am perfectly content with this, but I want it in writing. I dont want him to change his mind two weeks, two years, five years down the road and wants to be in the baby's life. I was told by a friend that he cant sign his rights over in texas without having someone ready to adopt in his place. Is anyone familiar with tx laws? I would rather not go to court and just get everything in writing and notarized.

Re: is anyone familiar with tx laws?

  • Firstly, in texas if a child is born to an unwed mother it is only considered to have one parent. The father has to step forward and sign one of two forms to either establish paternity or deny it... or agree to a paternity test. One of the forms is the Acknowledgement of Paternity that once he signs it means he will become the legal father and he will be responsible for child support ... but the count can also grant him visitation or custody. There is another form that pretty much says the opposite and that he doesnt believe himself to be the father and possibly relinquishes custody. (i kinda tuned out a little bit because that paper didnt apply to my situation) Both of these forms are pretty serious and are not easily available to just print online because of how serious the issue is and how permanent the results are. You need to be in contact with the attorney generals office for paternity related court issues. This is this the information i received when i spoke to a lawyer... but they also pointed me toward txlawhelps as an online reference. if he continues to abuse you, you NEED to call the police every single time. if for some reason this all goes to court, you need the police reports on your side.
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  • First, your child is entitled to support and love from BOTH parents. Open a case with the Texas Office of the Attorney General. Note: If you receive Medicaid, TANF or SNAP, they will open one for you; you don't have a choice. It takes about 15-18 months of you're on government assistance, or 18-24 if you file on your own. Child support is retroactive from birth.

    Second, in Texas, the mother has sole legal and physical custody from birth in unwed couples. Should you CHOOSE, and I advise against it, you can have the father added to the birth certificate via the Acknowledgement of Paternity. It can be done at the hospital. Without it, there's no right for him to give up. He simply doesn't exist as the child's father. 

    Again, you should open a child support case. They will establish paternity, child support, custody, and visitation. It is free to you, he pays all court costs. It's relatively painless. Its a giant assembly line, and listening to the asinine excuses on why ppl don't pay is funny. I know just how hard it is to get past anger and bitterness. But, your child deserves their father. It isn't about what we want. Believe me, I'm struggling with this right now as I allow SD to see our child.  Should he choose to terminate his rights, he can do so at anytime for any reason. It means he's still on the birth certificate, he just has no rights to the child. It also means you won't receive child support. 

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  • imageFyreFlyeRush:

    First, your child is entitled to support and love from BOTH parents. Open a case with the Texas Office of the Attorney General. Note: If you receive Medicaid, TANF or SNAP, they will open one for you; you don't have a choice. It takes about 15-18 months of you're on government assistance, or 18-24 if you file on your own. Child support is retroactive from birth.

    Second, in Texas, the mother has sole legal and physical custody from birth in unwed couples. Should you CHOOSE, and I advise against it, you can have the father added to the birth certificate via the Acknowledgement of Paternity. It can be done at the hospital. Without it, there's no right for him to give up. He simply doesn't exist as the child's father. 

    Again, you should open a child support case. They will establish paternity, child support, custody, and visitation. It is free to you, he pays all court costs. It's relatively painless. Its a giant assembly line, and listening to the asinine excuses on why ppl don't pay is funny. I know just how hard it is to get past anger and bitterness. But, your child deserves their father. It isn't about what we want. Believe me, I'm struggling with this right now as I allow SD to see our child.  Should he choose to terminate his rights, he can do so at anytime for any reason. It means he's still on the birth certificate, he just has no rights to the child. It also means you won't receive child support. 

     

    Even if his name isn't on the birth certificate? I am on government assistance and they keep trying to get me to file CS, but I don't want to go down that road at this time. They don't have father's name or anything..so how would they open a case with attorney general? (not being snarky, have always been curious about this mumbo jumbo so what you posted is SO helpful and informative..want to know more..)

     

    Also, OP, as far as I understand your friend is CORRECT in that he cannot "sign over his rights" if there is not another adoptive father. But like PP said as well, as far as I know, if his name isn't on the birth certificate he basically isn't acknowledged as the father/ having any rights anyway.

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  • ALSO DITTO DITTO DITTO to what PP said about police reports, you NEED to go to the police and get those reports!! My sister is going through a divorce right now and he was abusive but since it was never reported it is basically he-said-she-said and a big mess. You will want the history of these incidences later if it ever comes down to that..
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  • I was told they'd end all rights except for CHIP, the baby's Medicaid. SNAP, TANF, and your Medicaid. The way the state sees it, and I agree, is that the father is legally obligated to provide for the child. Why should the state be footing the bill? 

    Child support gives the father the right to petition for custody, but he's not entitled to it...and Texas rarely finds in favor of the father. My ex had a verifiable claim to custody of his youngest son. His ex wife and I both gave testimony he'd make a good father. Her friends testified she made the whole thing up. And she STILL got custody. Basically, you'd have to be smoking crack, in front of a cop, while pimping yourself and holding the baby for the state to even look at the case.

  • Just finished my phone interview. TANF requires an active child support case. SNAP and CHIP dont. I don't need TANF because I'm employed, just on unpaid leave. 
  • imageFyreFlyeRush:
    Just finished my phone interview. TANF requires an active child support case. SNAP and CHIP dont. I don't need TANF because I'm employed, just on unpaid leave. 

    great thanks. I see. I got TANF and my medicaid denied (supposedly, even though they just sent me a new medicaid card), but got renewed for SNAP and Jude's Medicaid.

    So Jude's father isn't on the BC, and lives in Arizona. How do you think they would handle that??

     I'm honestly afraid to file child support because I know his father would try to get some custody/ visitation..and I don't want DS having to go back and forth on a plane when he is 5 years old or whatever..:(. And plus BD  isn't exactly responsible (DUI, etc), so even though we are on good terms and I am not against letting him see DS, I would be afraid for him to get visitation and neglect or be a bad influence on DS. Anyways, its just hard right now because I am going to get my Master's and finish an internship (my career path requires internship hours to get lisenced), and paying for DC sucks... but in a year or two from now I don't think I would even blink about missing CS, the few hundred bucks a month, because I'll have a good job and stuff. I just don't think it is worth it to risk having to give up DS to visitation. Sorry for the long/ off topic post...

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  • Anyways, OP, just don't put his name on the BC..

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  • imagebexram:

     but in a year or two from now I don't think I would even blink about missing CS, the few hundred bucks a month, because I'll have a good job and stuff. I just don't think it is worth it to risk having to give up DS to visitation. 

    My cousins BD left her at a few weeks pregnant and gave her so much crap during her pregnancy that not only did she leave his name off the BC, but in the state she lives in (Arkansas) she legally adopted her own child as the only way of ensuring his rights were relinquished. She didn't do this to be a b!tch, but instead realized the heartache he and his family were constantly giving her was not worth the money she would receive. Yes, it is probably the more challenging route to go, but if it is something you feel you must do, then you just have to do it. No one should blame you for that.

     I wish you the best of luck during these hard times. :) 

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  • imageSnow__White__Queen:
    imagebexram:

     but in a year or two from now I don't think I would even blink about missing CS, the few hundred bucks a month, because I'll have a good job and stuff. I just don't think it is worth it to risk having to give up DS to visitation. 

    My cousins BD left her at a few weeks pregnant and gave her so much crap during her pregnancy that not only did she leave his name off the BC, but in the state she lives in (Arkansas) she legally adopted her own child as the only way of ensuring his rights were relinquished. She didn't do this to be a b!tch, but instead realized the heartache he and his family were constantly giving her was not worth the money she would receive. Yes, it is probably the more challenging route to go, but if it is something you feel you must do, then you just have to do it. No one should blame you for that.

     I wish you the best of luck during these hard times. :) 

    agreed

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  • imageSnow__White__Queen:
    imagebexram:

     but in a year or two from now I don't think I would even blink about missing CS, the few hundred bucks a month, because I'll have a good job and stuff. I just don't think it is worth it to risk having to give up DS to visitation. 

    My cousins BD left her at a few weeks pregnant and gave her so much crap during her pregnancy that not only did she leave his name off the BC, but in the state she lives in (Arkansas) she legally adopted her own child as the only way of ensuring his rights were relinquished. She didn't do this to be a b!tch, but instead realized the heartache he and his family were constantly giving her was not worth the money she would receive. Yes, it is probably the more challenging route to go, but if it is something you feel you must do, then you just have to do it. No one should blame you for that.

     I wish you the best of luck during these hard times. :) 

    agreed

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  • thank you guys so much. i have decided to just leave his name off of the birth certificate. you guys have been so helpful!
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