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Those of you who have had a friend in delivery room w/ you...

dette7820dette7820 member
in 3rd Trimester

My DH is not the best support-- I mean- he is great at holding hands, holding puke buckets etc..but really doesn't know how to handle my pain level and can't look at much.. he tends to zone out on other things and not focus- I learned this during the delivery of my first- and I was so happy I had another support person (my mom) at the time.

This time, my mom can't be there- so I have asked a close friend of both myself and my husband's to be there.. we are very good friends, close friends, talk about everything.. I mean everything.. and I know she is the best alternative to my mom- and i Know she will provide me w/ the support I need..

But for those of you who had friends in the delivery room with you- was it weird? Was it weird to have a friend watching that? It wasn't weird to have my mom- heck the women gave birth to me.. but I keep feeling like it will be weird. I am a very modest person and I know that my hospital is great at keeping the patient's parts very private- up until that moment... but I can't help but feeling weird...

Thoughts?

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Re: Those of you who have had a friend in delivery room w/ you...

  • surprise3rdsurprise3rd
    If I had vaginal deliveries and needed another support my Best Friend would be the one I called and I wouldn't hesitate.  I don't think it is wierd, if it was a new friend, or a co-worker or something like that then yes...that would be a little wierd, but not a super close friend.
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  • xtina05xtina05
    I had my cousin (who is like a great friend) in the delivery room last time. It was not weird at all. We all got to be a part of something amazing :o)
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  • dette7820dette7820 member

    imagextina05:
    I had my cousin (who is like a great friend) in the delivery room last time. It was not weird at all. We all got to be a part of something amazing :o)

     

    Thats what I am envisioning as long as my modesty doesnt spike!

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  • mandalinn25mandalinn25 member
    I haven't given birth yet, but my dh and my best friend are going to be there.  That way my dh doesn't have to focus on me the entire time.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  My BF is awesome.
    TTC since 2006
    Me: 36 DH: 40
    DH dx azoospermia My dx: RA & AMA
    d-IUI's--6/10, 7/13 & 8/4: all BFN
    d-IVF#1--Lupron/Menopur/Bravelle/Novarel; mini-dose protocol
    ER: 10/25--18R; 14F; ET: 10/28--3dt of 2 embies; 3 blasts frozen
    + HPT 11/4; Beta #1--14dp3dt: 441; Beta #2--21dp3dt: 9298
    One beautiful jelly bean growing! Saw h/b on 11/28 and 12/5!!!
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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member

    I was the friend in the delivery room last fall when my best friend had her second.  Mainly they wanted me there to watch their 3 year old as they wanted him in the room but not necessarily watching everything.  So I set him up facing the windows playing on the computer and then I was there for whatever they needed.  So that said, I stayed up by her head and stayed in a chair.  I didn't see anything going on down below until after the baby was out and I had to walk over that direction to see the baby and take pictures (at her request).  So it wasn't weird or anything and I didn't feel like I saw everything or saw too much.  I stayed on the sidelines and let her husband be her support and hold her legs and hands and all of that.  I was mainly there for afterward to take pictures and keep the 3 year old out of the way.

    I think if you're just clear with your friend about what you want, it won't be weird.  If you want her actually helping you through labor, holding your hand, helping your breathe and push, then let her know that up front and let your husband know that too.  If you just want her there for support but to stay on the sidelines, be clear about that too.  As long as you both know what you need from her, I think you'll be fine.

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  • Rhianna1981Rhianna1981

    I was in the room with my friend as her support person, and, honestly, even though I was holding one of her legs, she needed me really close to her face to coach her through pushing and contractions. I didn't really see anything "important."

    On the other hand, she had two other friends who were just there (not as support), and they stood down by her feet and just watched everything. One kept reliving the moment of "crowning" in every conversation for weeks!  

    Since it sounds like your friend is really there to help you, I would imagine that she's be up closer to your head anyway, so I wouldn't worry. 

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  • KrazyKat35KrazyKat35 member
    I had my best friend (who is more like my sister, i have known her since i was lil) there when i had DS1 i was also there in the delivery room with my other "sister" and i actually helped her by holding her foot, and encouraging her to push. It wasnt werid for me in either situation. They are so close to family for me. It wasnt werid for her either she actually said that she was happier that i was there to help cuz mom(Her mom) was a crying mess of tears she wasnt really of any help to her. So it was nice to have that other person there to encourage her. Even tho i was a ball of tears myself. :) But i dont think its werid at all if you are close enough to feel comfortable asking then i dont think its werid or odd at all.
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  • noah-bearnoah-bear member

    DH will be home with DS and I will have a friend with me. 

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  • aaturnwaldaaturnwald member
    My good friend was in the room when I delivered DS.. At that point in time I didn't even worry about what she saw, and I know she loved the experience.  I was not weirded out a bit, and would do it again or be there for her. 
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  • dette7820dette7820 member

    Thanks so much for your thoughts ladies! I am sure it will all be fine and you are right- in the moment I wont care anymore :-)

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