DId you have to convince people of your decision?

mjledwith · June 2012

So I am a FTM and at my 39 week appt Dr. made the comment that due to NOTHING happening down there and the fact that my baby is on the bigger side, (has been the whole time- both sides of family have big babies, I am petite, etc.) that I may want to consider scheduling a c-section because its looking like an induction will need to take place.

Well, I hadn't really considered c-section other than whatever needs to be done to deliver my baby successfully is ok with me if the time comes. Well now I am seriously considering it and I feel like my family is trying to make me feel bad about it or convince me its a bad idea.

Anyone else have this or in the same boat? What did you do?

xoexpat · June 2012

My mom had 2 natural births and 1 c-section. She said that if she'd had the c-section first, she wouldn't have had more kids. So she is against getting a c-section.

I'm having twins and my dr. acts like c-section is completely fine if that's what I want, and a vaginal birth is completely fine if that's what I want (however, they will only attempt a vaginal delivery if both babies are head down). She said that the majority of twin births at that hospital are done c-section.

I kind of want to go with the cs just because my dr. feels comfortable with it and I don't want it to turn in to an emergency situation, but I feel like my mom isn't very supportive of that. At least DH is. Good luck with what you decide. At least you won't have other kids you will need to be tending to while you heal.

MrsSarahL · June 2012

I did and still do have to defend having and opting for a cs. My family has been accepting but i have found that my friends were more judgemental. With DD I tried vaginal and she just wasn't going to fit (and DD was only 7.5lbs). This time I am opting for a rcs and my friend just doesn't understand why I won't try vbac. I don't get her interest in my birth experience

pepomntpat · June 2012

Well, first of all it is very normal for nothing to happen until labor actually starts. Your doctor is fear mongering and I give him the side eye for that.

Second of all, if you make a decision, it is no one's business but yours, your DH's and your doctors. End of story.

mben1119 · June 2012

LucyD1029:
I've never felt the need to defend my decision to have a c/s, but I also labored for a day and a half before getting it. I wouldn't have scheduled one just because the doctor thought my baby might be big.

Same here. I didn't labor as long as you, but DS wasn't descending. I wouldn't want a c-section again unless it was absolutely necessary.

elviebird · June 2012

LucyD1029:
I've never felt the need to defend my decision to have a c/s, but I also labored for a day and a half before getting it. I wouldn't have scheduled one just because the doctor thought my baby might be big.

All of this. And I agree your doc is jumping the gun. Why make the decision at only 39 weeks?

JustHyr · June 2012

YES! Especially since I've known for years that when I got pregnant it would have to be cesarean delivery. I don't go telling everyone about my uterus so immediately people are like WHY?! Why do you know you have to have a c-section? You need a new dr! I'm sure you don't have to have one...etc etc

I explain that I had major uterine surgery several years ago to remove a softball sized fibroid that was imbedded in my uterine wall. They had to remove a large piece of my uterus with it. So I'm at high risk of uterine rupture and cannot deliver vaginally no way, no how. They're also taking her 9 days early because they really dont want me to go into labor. Contractions could cause rupture. People just can't wrap their minds around the fact that I've known my c-section date for months, and that it's 9 days early!

On a similar vent I hate when someone finds out I'm having a c/s and then gets all sad for me and apologizes. I'm perfectly happy with my c-section. My myomectomy was the same freakin surgery just delivering a fibroid instead of a baby so I've done the recovery. I know what I'm getting into. It pisses me off when people pity me.

mlf625 · June 2012

No, I'd never waste my time trying to convince someone that my birthing choice was right for ME. I scheduled a c/s with DS because I had GD, my OB didn't want me going overdue, and I hadn't progressed at all by my 39w appointment. I didn't want a failed induction and just preferred to go straight to the c/s. I've never let anyone make me feel bad for choosing a c/s, and you shouldn't either, if that's the route you choose. A healthy baby and a healthy mom are all that matters, not how the baby got out.

monica92603 · June 2012

Personally, I've never given a crap what other people's opinions are when it comes to any of my decisions regarding my pregnancies, and most people who know me, know that, so don't bother saying anything to me anyway LOL. Like one pp said, even if my mom wasn't supportive in my decision, I still wouldn't care. Why is it anyone else's business? Do what you and your OB decide is best.

HarrietNJMommy · June 2012

With my first, yes, I had to explain myself to everyone. My mom just kept making it more difficult for me because my DD#1 was breech and she kept telling me not to worry, that the baby will turn, that I won't need a c/s, etc.

I would just nod and smile. It worked for me. People will always give you their opinion. You have to try not to let it bother you and do what's best for you and the baby.

GL!

jb2rn · June 2012

pepomntpat:
Well, first of all it is very normal for nothing to happen until labor actually starts. Your doctor is fear mongering and I give him the side eye for that.
Second of all, if you make a decision, it is no one's business but yours, your DH's and your doctors. End of story.

This. While a c section that is NEEDED should never have to be defended, I would never, ever, elect for one because maybe baby is too big. I would try labor first and see how it went.

katmacwv · June 2012

With both c-sections, I felt like I had to defend my choice. My OB isn't a doc I would consider "cut happy" or really into scheduling for his convenience. He told me from my initial appt with him that if I had a baby over 7 1/2 lbs that a vaginal delivery probably would not be successful. He left the decision up to me when at 38 wks, 3 days his u/s tech estimated DD1's weight at 8 lbs, 9 oz. We opted for a c-section, but DD1 came earlier than planned and ended up being born that same day at 8 lbs, 12 oz. Since 2nd babies are usually larger than first babies, I didn't even consider a VBAC this time. It turns out we made the right decision because DD2 weighed in at 9 lbs even and part of my uterus was so thin that DD2 could be seen through it. If I had attempted a VBAC, there is a high likelihood my uterus would have ruptured.

meganandchase · June 2012

jb2rn:
pepomntpat:
Well, first of all it is very normal for nothing to happen until labor actually starts. Your doctor is fear mongering and I give him the side eye for that.
Second of all, if you make a decision, it is no one's business but yours, your DH's and your doctors. End of story.

This. While a c section that is NEEDED should never have to be defended, I would never, ever, elect for one because maybe baby is too big. I would try labor first and see how it went.

I wonder if people who have this attitude have ever gone through an emergency c-section? I did try labor to see how it went the first time. Then I had an emergency c-section. I'm not against VBAC, but I am against another emergency c-section. Mine is scheduled. I'm lucky that most people have been supportive. Some jackasses at work seem to think they should be voicing their opinion as well, but I haven't really argued with them.

AppleJacks81 · June 2012

I was induced but ended up with a c-section last time. Induction wasn't a great experience for me and by the time my epidural quit working and I was on full blown pitocin and he wasn't coming out, I was begging for a c-section. I told my doctor at our first appointment that I am absolutely not interested in a VBAC, and not to mention it. They said that's fine, lol! As far as getting judgement from other people, well, they aren't the ones trying to push a baby out of their vaginas.

cecilyandgautam · June 2012

Well considering that I was trying for a home birth and transferred to the hospital when it was clear that labor was not going well, no one has really asked me why I chose a c-section - the well-being of my baby was in question for several reasons by the time I went into the OR.

To me, it sounds like vaginal is still an option for you so before you try to get your family to support you, perhaps you want to figure out for yourself why you're not trying for a vaginal birth. When you're 100% sure of how you want to proceed, other people's opinions won't bother you so much.

BTW - those estimates of baby's size can be off. WAY off. I was told I'd have a 10 pound baby by 3 different sonogramers and she was born 8 lb 4 oz at 41 weeks. Personally, I wouldn't get induced simply because of estimated size.

cecilyandgautam · June 2012

meganandchase:
jb2rn:
pepomntpat:
Well, first of all it is very normal for nothing to happen until labor actually starts. Your doctor is fear mongering and I give him the side eye for that.
Second of all, if you make a decision, it is no one's business but yours, your DH's and your doctors. End of story.

This. While a c section that is NEEDED should never have to be defended, I would never, ever, elect for one because maybe baby is too big. I would try labor first and see how it went.

I wonder if people who have this attitude have ever gone through an emergency c-section? I did try labor to see how it went the first time. Then I had an emergency c-section. I'm not against VBAC, but I am against another emergency c-section. Mine is scheduled. I'm lucky that most people have been supportive. Some jackasses at work seem to think they should be voicing their opinion as well, but I haven't really argued with them.

I share jb's perspective but I also can really empathize with why some women aren't interested in VBACs so I wouldn't be one of the people giving you a hard time about it. To be honest, I'm still pretty traumatized by the whole experience and I really don't know how I'll proceed when we do end up expecting baby #2.

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