ummm...does picking baby up from daycare ONE time count? lol. i NEVER thought or imagined this is how it would all be. but my husband is amazing, BUT he is not nearly as helpful as i had planned or i guess hoped. i do 95% of all the baby stuff. which comes natural to me and i love and adore my baby. but i mean come on!! really? and i dont know about your hubby but mine has no idea what i do do. i took my lo to swimming lessons and my mom came and helped. he was like, why did you need help? i was like uhhhh, we are soaked and there is no place to get myseld into dry clothes besided a tiny bathroom stall and there are no changing tables and so on and so on...he just doesnt get it...ug. annoys me....im gonna stop thinking about it...cus i could go on and on....:)
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All the time, but this is number 3 for us, so he knows the routine. We made sure he started early with the first one. That way it was never a big deal . He can get all the kids ready and out the door in about 30 minutes. He's not as good as me, but he gets the job done.
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During the school year I work on his days off. He's taken her to the car dealership to get my oil changed, other than that mostly if he takes her anywhere it's to his parents or grandmothers house. (almost every day he has off he's helping them with some project so it's not like he can't handle her, he's just being a good son/grandson).
Angel Baby -EDD 6/10/11 m/c at 9w2d on 11/7/10
Our Early Christmas Gift - A Beautiful Baby Girl Born December 18, 2011
Yes, quite often since he is home alone with her Tuesday through Friday during the school year. No huge outings but small trips to be grocery store or cabelas.
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May I suggest you ladies let go and require your husbands to take their ownchildren out alone. You are setting an ugly precedent, one that will be very very hard to break in the long run. You will start to resent him for not doing his part and he won't understand why you are pissed at him for doing the same thing he's always done. It really is a bad habit for everyone involved.
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I'm not pissed, at least I don't think so... :-)... My husband definitely helps a lot. He does 75% of the cooking and grocery shopping, doesn't leave a mess, helps with diaper changes and entertaining, takes care of the dog primarily, asks what else he can do to help with the baby. I think maybe it's always worked out that we are together going some where OR he's at work and I'm home m-f so I'm the one out with her... Maybe he's a little intimidated too. I def think a solo outing for them would be a good step for him. I guess I just never realized there hasn't been one.
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DH takes DD alone all the time. Especially, when he knows I need a break and want to get things done around the house. He'll take her to the park, to the grocery store, out to run errands, etc.
He'll also play with her around the house when I need a break or want to do something. And he gives her a bath. I've only given her two baths, he's done the rest.
The big difference is, he's self employed and works from home. He gets to go out a lot to either play tennis or golf (non-work, just in general). So he will relieve me whenever needed.
daisypath
Unexplained infertility
HSG-clear, DH SA-Great
3 cycles Clomid TI with OB/GYN
Switched to RE Jan2011
Feb2011 100mg Clomid + trigger + #1 IUI=BFN
Mar. 12,2011 100mg Clomid + Estradiol + #2 IUI
BFP 3/20/11, Beta #1 12dpiui 174, Beta #2 17dpiui 1660, Beta #3 21dpiui 6687
Yep, all the time. We work opposite shifts, so when he is home, I am working and vise versa. He bring DS in to see me for lunch sometimes, to the grocery store, to his mom's/grandma's house, etc. He even brought DS into his work to show him off one day. I think he takes DS out more than I do!
Not often, because I ebf so it is more convenient for everyone if I have her, but he does occasionally. The older two he takes all over, running errands, etc.
In July he will have the 2 younger girls all. by. himself. for FOUR days. I have a feeling I will be appreciated a bit more tnan usual upon my return. Hehehe.
I brought it up in UO because it's been on my mind since I realized it a week ago.
I've been trying to come up with a way to force DH out of the house with the baby by himself. It is definitely going to happen and soon. I know it's not good that he's already at 6 mo. and has only stayed at home with baby by himself (but at least we've gotten that far). I think this weekend he's either going to go to the grocery store or to the park by himself - dude's day out.
Yes he has taken her out by himself several times. He is very good about remembering everything too. The other day he took her out and when I got home I saw he had even packed an extra outfit in the diaper bag in case there was an incident.
I don't think he has. Maybe to his moms house once. And he takes him for walks. I don't consider this a big deal though. I can't think of a situation where I've been annoyed that my husband hasn't taken the baby somewhere. He would if he needed to.
Sure. DH watches him alone on days when I have to work the evening shift or occasionally when I go out with friends. They run short errands like to Target or Costco. He's pretty great considering he didn't have much baby experience before DS was born.
We've pretty much done everything as a family since he's been born. Normal shopping areas are a bit of a drive for us and I haven't wanted to deal with DS by myself (it's not just a short trip the store...it's like a day trip when we go out!). It seems like EVERY.TIME we're out DS has a blow out. Each time I'm thankful there's two of us to deal with it.
I've taken DS to a few places locally alone. DH hasn't taken him anywhere alone---but hasn't needed to. I'm confident that given an event DH would love to take DS alone somewhere. He's got his diaper bag packed and does really well with him.
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Yes, a few times. One of my Mother's Day gifts was an afternoon to myself to catch up on cleaning/organizing so he took Harry out for a few hours. He's done it a handful of times.
BFP #1: 3.28.11 Dx w/ PIH @ 24w
DS Born @ 36w: 11.7.11
6 Days in NICU BFP #2: 8.31.16 Dx w/ GD @ 28w DD Born @ 36w: 4.21.17
Sure, all the time. He is at home when I'm at work and vice versa. I think it's weird that a father wouldn't take his own child somewhere alone. Why become a father at all if you want your life to stay exactly like it was when you were 21?
Edit: he even has his own diaper bag. It's a camouflage Diaper Dude bag with orange zippers and he loves it. I think it's the ugliest thing ever and will take my diaper bag with us whenever possible.
He's taken our DD out lots of times, even as an infant. Since we've had DS he has taken him to his parents (they watch them for us while we work). Since DS came though he really hasn't had the opportunity to take both out. He works nights, I work days so when he gets home we're sleeping and we leave when he's sleeping. He works weekends and I'm off. If I wasn't home and he was though he wouldn't think twice about it. We have passes to an amusement park and just a week or two ago he was going to take both kids on his day off (I was at work) but the weather was awful.
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Yes! He'll take LO to run errands if I'm busy and he needs to get stuff done. He also went to Daddy Bootcamp before Charlie was born -- they have bootcamp grads return with their babies to talk to the expectant fathers in later classes, so DH has done that a few times as well. Like PP, he has his own diaper bag, and gets C ready on his own, the only thing I have to do is pump a bottle for them to take, and even then, sometime he just dips into the freezer stash.
Yep, in fact the first two weeks DH did most everything except feedings because I was in such bad shape. Now he takes LO jogging in the mornings, and on errands, etc.
Sure, all the time. He is at home when I'm at work and vice versa. I think it's weird that a father wouldn't take his own child somewhere alone. Why become a father at all if you want your life to stay exactly like it was when you were 21?
Edit: he even has his own diaper bag. It's a camouflage Diaper Dude bag with orange zippers and he loves it. I think it's the ugliest thing ever and will take my diaper bag with us whenever possible.
NEVER. I don't think they've ever spent more than an hour alone together, to be honest. I don't mind, I knew when we decided to have children that I'd be the primary caretaker but I do mind that I spent an extra $50 on a carseat base for his car that has only been used a handful of times grrrrr
They have driven around after dropping be off at the mall and during a bloodwork appointment. Either he runs the errands or we all go together. We are all ok with this arrangement. He does so much to care for us as a family and I don't think solo outings are a fatherhood requirement in the first couple of years.
He's taken him to the doctor a couple of times and has picked him up from daycare a few times. He really doesn't have a reason to leave the house with him though because he works longer hours than me, so he's usually home after me. And most of the time if we leave the house, we go together. I usually don't take the baby out by myself either as a matter of fact. Except now that it's summer, I know I will do that more since I am off.
Wow, I have to admit that I am surprised by the number of SOs who have not spent time alone with their child/children. DH spends time alone with DD ALL the time. I work and have class on Tuesday night so they have "daddy/daughter" nights then which usually includes a stroll around town. He also takes her to daycare most days. He has probably taken her out more than I have.
May I suggest you ladies let go and require your husbands to take their ownchildren out alone. You are setting an ugly precedent, one that will be very very hard to break in the long run. You will start to resent him for not doing his part and he won't understand why you are pissed at him for doing the same thing he's always done. It really is a bad habit for everyone involved.
I agree. If they don't do it now they will never have an appreciation for what it really takes to be a parent. For what we do all day. Special circumstances excluded of course.
Once he took him to lunch with a friend 2 blocks from our house. That's it.
The other day I realized that DS has never been in a car without me. The only times he's been somewhere without me were the 2 times I left him at my sister's house to babysit for a few hours, and they didn't leave the house the whole time I was gone. I don't really know how he would react if anyone but me put him into/got him out of his carseat.
Once - and how I convinced him to take him for those two hours I have no idea, but they were the most productive two hours I've had since before I got PG with DS...
No, unless walking places with LO in the stroller counts! I've left them alone lots of times so it's not that either of us are uncomfortable with it, we just do most things together. In a few months DH may be a part-time SAHD so obviously that would change.
On a slightly related note, after reading this thread I asked DH if he wanted his own diaper bag and he said yes, so looks like he's getting a man bag, lol. I never even thought of it.
BFP #1: EDD 8/29/11, MMC 1/14/11. BFP #2: Damien Isaac born 12/16/11. BFP #3: Rowen Cole born 7/28/14. BFP #4: EDD 9/16/16.
Of course, he is her father. Some of the husbands and dads on this board need an asskicking and reality check
Agreed. Dh has done both alone from when dd was 8 weeks on, and before dd he regularly took ds out alone. His favorite is taking them to the park 3-4 nights a week while I prep dinner-he wears dd and walks with ds-it's adorable. and yes, he is the man who wears dd in our boba sscarrier when he goes out with both alone, oftentimes in his shirt and tie.
Re: Has your husband ever..
ummm...does picking baby up from daycare ONE time count? lol. i NEVER thought or imagined this is how it would all be. but my husband is amazing, BUT he is not nearly as helpful as i had planned or i guess hoped. i do 95% of all the baby stuff. which comes natural to me and i love and adore my baby. but i mean come on!! really? and i dont know about your hubby but mine has no idea what i do do. i took my lo to swimming lessons and my mom came and helped. he was like, why did you need help? i was like uhhhh, we are soaked and there is no place to get myseld into dry clothes besided a tiny bathroom stall and there are no changing tables and so on and so on...he just doesnt get it...ug. annoys me....im gonna stop thinking about it...cus i could go on and on....:)
DH takes DD alone all the time. Especially, when he knows I need a break and want to get things done around the house. He'll take her to the park, to the grocery store, out to run errands, etc.
He'll also play with her around the house when I need a break or want to do something. And he gives her a bath. I've only given her two baths, he's done the rest.
The big difference is, he's self employed and works from home. He gets to go out a lot to either play tennis or golf (non-work, just in general). So he will relieve me whenever needed.
Not often, because I ebf so it is more convenient for everyone if I have her, but he does occasionally. The older two he takes all over, running errands, etc.
In July he will have the 2 younger girls all. by. himself. for FOUR days. I have a feeling I will be appreciated a bit more tnan usual upon my return. Hehehe.
I brought it up in UO because it's been on my mind since I realized it a week ago.
I've been trying to come up with a way to force DH out of the house with the baby by himself. It is definitely going to happen and soon. I know it's not good that he's already at 6 mo. and has only stayed at home with baby by himself (but at least we've gotten that far). I think this weekend he's either going to go to the grocery store or to the park by himself - dude's day out.
Nope. Well maybe to the doctor once, but I think I went too. He brings her to daycare every morning. Does that count?
We've pretty much done everything as a family since he's been born. Normal shopping areas are a bit of a drive for us and I haven't wanted to deal with DS by myself (it's not just a short trip the store...it's like a day trip when we go out!). It seems like EVERY.TIME we're out DS has a blow out. Each time I'm thankful there's two of us to deal with it.
I've taken DS to a few places locally alone. DH hasn't taken him anywhere alone---but hasn't needed to. I'm confident that given an event DH would love to take DS alone somewhere. He's got his diaper bag packed and does really well with him.
BFP #2: 8.31.16 Dx w/ GD @ 28w DD Born @ 36w: 4.21.17
Sure, all the time. He is at home when I'm at work and vice versa. I think it's weird that a father wouldn't take his own child somewhere alone. Why become a father at all if you want your life to stay exactly like it was when you were 21?
Edit: he even has his own diaper bag. It's a camouflage Diaper Dude bag with orange zippers and he loves it. I think it's the ugliest thing ever and will take my diaper bag with us whenever possible.
Jan17 Sept Sig: Pumpkin Spice gone too far
Yep. He took her to her first pedi appointment when she was 2 days old by himself and then for subsequent blood draws to monitor her jaundice.
He also hangs out with her one day a week when he's off.
LOL my husband has a camo "man" diaper bag too!
IVF #1: 4-11-11= Transferred 1 beautiful blastocyst I named "Nugget"
5 Snowbabies! Beta#1 4/21= BFP! 226; Beta#2 4/25= 944
DS born 12/14/11
Baby #2 FET Nov/Dec 2013
12/13 Beta#1=BFP 349; 12/16 Beta#2=1,089. First ultrasound 12/26. DS#2 born 8/8/14



~~PAIF/SAIF Always Welcome~~
I agree. If they don't do it now they will never have an appreciation for what it really takes to be a parent. For what we do all day. Special circumstances excluded of course.
Once he took him to lunch with a friend 2 blocks from our house. That's it.
The other day I realized that DS has never been in a car without me. The only times he's been somewhere without me were the 2 times I left him at my sister's house to babysit for a few hours, and they didn't leave the house the whole time I was gone. I don't really know how he would react if anyone but me put him into/got him out of his carseat.
No, unless walking places with LO in the stroller counts! I've left them alone lots of times so it's not that either of us are uncomfortable with it, we just do most things together. In a few months DH may be a part-time SAHD so obviously that would change.
On a slightly related note, after reading this thread I asked DH if he wanted his own diaper bag and he said yes, so looks like he's getting a man bag, lol. I never even thought of it.
Agreed. Dh has done both alone from when dd was 8 weeks on, and before dd he regularly took ds out alone. His favorite is taking them to the park 3-4 nights a week while I prep dinner-he wears dd and walks with ds-it's adorable. and yes, he is the man who wears dd in our boba sscarrier when he goes out with both alone, oftentimes in his shirt and tie.