Is getting herpes worth $900,000

hmp1 · June 2012

Not sure if this was discussed already.

So my question is very loosely based on this story: Oregon woman awarded $900,000 in lawsuit alleging date intentionally gave her herpes.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/oregon-woman-awarded-900000-in-lawsuit-alleging-online-date-intentionally-gave-her-herpes/2012/06/05/gJQAeLyBGV_story.html

Would you willingly be infected with herpes for $900,000?

Unknown · June 2012

This content has been removed.

Sept1799 · June 2012

No, I don't think its worth it

SGC29 · June 2012

twatley:
Tough call.

I hear they are pretty painful. But they aren't deadly or anything. So I'm going with yes.

That is hilarious!

I'm going with no, only because I know a girl who has it and I'm pretty sure she has to take medication for the rest of her life to avoid outbreaks (I think?). I'm terrible about remembering to take medicine, I don't even think nearly a mil would help me remember. Plus if I have to pay taxes on that? No way..

Kitiara5512 · June 2012

Um, fuckings no. I took a sex and gender in society class way back in the day, and out of all the STDs we studied, that was the one that really freaked me out because there are no symptoms without an outbreak and you can only test the sores, not blood or urine or hair or nails, for the virus. Once you have it, it is incurable. Lavendar and px meds can reduce the outbreak, but nothing will cure it. Any child born via vaginal birth will wind up with ocular and/or other forms of herpes. Yes siree siroo, you can get herpes in the eyes. Those babies are born with bleeding eyes. So totally fuckings no, unless I was going to die really soon after I got it anyway and desperately needed to leave behind something to care for my husband and children.

FrickandFrack · June 2012

No, not at all.

Heather R · June 2012

Yes. She asked him to wear a condom, and he consented and then did not. He did not disclose until afterward. He willingly withheld info and willfully exposed her to an STI.

eta- oops, I thought you were asking if she deserved the settlement.

klondikebar · June 2012

No way. That's not quit your job and live like kings money.

Manateearmz · June 2012

No. Not ever. No thank you.

I can firmly answer with the passion as hot as the fire from a thousand suns...otherwise known as the fire of a single herpes blister...the money is not worth fire crotch.

Not to mention, how would I hide a herp blister from this beautiful face?

Manateearmz · June 2012

Heather R:
Yes. She asked him to wear a condom, and he consented and then did not. He did not disclose until afterward. He willingly withheld info and willfully exposed her to an STI.
eta- oops, I thought you were asking if she deserved the settlement.

She might have deserved more than what she got.

j_luvs_r · June 2012

Kitiara5512:
Any child born via vaginal birth will wind up with ocular and/or other forms of herpes.

This is not accurate. It can only be passed on to a baby during vaginal birth if said birth takes place during an outbreak. Many people infected with herpes can go years without outbreaks/symptoms.

scoutkate · June 2012

I'd definitely give it some thought. Aren't the outbreaks controllable? With medication, are they as frequent or as painful as hemorrhoids? Because I got those puppies for free. And I don't plan on having more kids, so no bleeding eye babies for me. $900K isn't a fortune but it certainly isn't an amount at which I'd turn up my nose.

Unknown · June 2012

This content has been removed.

hmp1 · June 2012

DH and I have a really strong marriage and friendship so I'm thinking we could make it for the long haul. If we could both take it, total of $1.8m for our family and we don't have to worry about giving it to our partner, I think I would do it. I have friends with herpes, sure it sucks but they live with it everyday without complaining.

klondikebar · June 2012

twatley:
You bitches are greedy. $900K is a shitton of money. Like life-changing money.

Greedy because I don't want herpes for what equates to less than 5 years salary? I don't think so.

SGC29 · June 2012

KlondikeBar:
twatley:
You bitches are greedy. $900K is a shitton of money. Like life-changing money.

Greedy because I don't want herpes for what equates to less than 5 years salary? I don't think so.

Did you just want to tell everyone how much your salary is?

rimjobrock · June 2012

I'd get it in an instant for 900,000. Sure it wouldn't mean that I would be a life of leisure, but it sure would be nice to pay off my house, student loans, and have a nice amount for Ellie's college to set aside. andplusalso the valtrax comericals look so glamorous and I love horseback riding.

Unknown · June 2012

This content has been removed.

hmp1 · June 2012

rimjobrock:
I'd get it in an instant for 900,000. Sure it wouldn't mean that I would be a life of leisure, but it sure would be nice to pay off my house, student loans, and have a nice amount for Ellie's college to set aside. andplusalso the valtrax comericals look so glamorous and I love horseback riding.

ILY

Manateearmz · June 2012

KlondikeBar:
twatley:
You bitches are greedy. $900K is a shitton of money. Like life-changing money.

Greedy because I don't want herpes for what equates to less than 5 years salary? I don't think so.

Oh yeah. 900k won't even last me a week. All that organic milk and natural peanut butter I've been buying. My water bill is also cray cray due to my 4 loads of laundry a day.

tabaskoa · June 2012

Kitiara5512:
Um, fuckings no. I took a sex and gender in society class way back in the day, and out of all the STDs we studied, that was the one that really freaked me out because there are no symptoms without an outbreak and you can only test the sores, not blood or urine or hair or nails, for the virus. Once you have it, it is incurable. Lavendar and px meds can reduce the outbreak, but nothing will cure it. Any child born via vaginal birth will wind up with ocular and/or other forms of herpes. Yes siree siroo, you can get herpes in the eyes. Those babies are born with bleeding eyes. So totally fuckings no, unless I was going to die really soon after I got it anyway and desperately needed to leave behind something to care for my husband and children.

That is a bit of an exaggeration. I have herpes and a vaginal birth is allowed unless you are having an active outbreak. The chances of the baby getting herpes from vaginal birth when the mom is NOT having an outbreak are next to nothing.I guess whether or not a person would be allowed to deliver vag would depend on how often they have an outbreak and how severe their infection is.

Also...you can get Herpes anywhere that there is an open sore, or access to mucous membranes (eyes, nose, any cuts in your skin, etc).

marybeth1699 · June 2012

No way. While I wouldn't turn that money down, I don't consider it to be life changing really considering the HCOL area we live in (and are not willing to move from). But I could be bought for a little more. You up that number to say $3mn and then yeah, I'd do it.

tabaskoa · June 2012

scoutkate:
I'd definitely give it some thought. Aren't the outbreaks controllable? With medication, are they as frequent or as painful as hemorrhoids? Because I got those puppies for free. And I don't plan on having more kids, so no bleeding eye babies for me. $900K isn't a fortune but it certainly isn't an amount at which I'd turn up my nose.

You can control it with anti-virals, like Valtrex. Some people take Valtrex every day and it does reduce the number and severity of outbreaks. I have a very mild form of Herpes so I don't take Valtrex unless I feel an outbreak coming on. It's annoying yes, but if someone wants to give me $900 that would be awesome.

I have no idea how I got it by the way. I didn't even know I had Herpes until I pregnant.

klondikebar · June 2012

SGC29:
KlondikeBar:

twatley:
You bitches are greedy. $900K is a shitton of money. Like life-changing money.

Greedy because I don't want herpes for what equates to less than 5 years salary? I don't think so.

Did you just want to tell everyone how much your salary is?

I don't have a salary;) And no, just explaining why I'm not greedy. I might do it for more money though.

J+MS · June 2012

No way. Herpes is painful and gross.

ATMmom324 · June 2012

I would do it. 900,000 and I could quit work forever. We could pay off all our debt and buy a few income properties. Live off the rental income.

MarSamWhitney · June 2012

Granted, that would totally change my life...I dont know if I could do it. God forbid my H and I ever split..I would hate to explain that to the next person. Gross.

judahsmommy1 · June 2012

Kitiara5512:
Um, fuckings no. I took a sex and gender in society class way back in the day, and out of all the STDs we studied, that was the one that really freaked me out because there are no symptoms without an outbreak and you can only test the sores, not blood or urine or hair or nails, for the virus. Once you have it, it is incurable. Lavendar and px meds can reduce the outbreak, but nothing will cure it. Any child born via vaginal birth will wind up with ocular and/or other forms of herpes. Yes siree siroo, you can get herpes in the eyes. Those babies are born with bleeding eyes. So totally fuckings no, unless I was going to die really soon after I got it anyway and desperately needed to leave behind something to care for my husband and children.

Wow, there's some misinformation here. As someone who actually has herpes, yes, you can only test the sores. It's uncomfortable, but not terrible. My breakouts do not happen often and I use medication to manage them when they happen... daily medication is not required.

My child was born via vaginal birth and is 100% healthy. The son that I am about to have will be born (baring complications) via vaginal birth as well. A woman with herpes should take a suppression medication during her last month of pregnancy to prevent an active outbreak at the time of delivery. (Which would require a C-section.) You can actually get herpes anywhere (your arm, eyes, hands... etc...) and the same virus causes chicken pox.

If it were what I have now, w $900,000 I'd consider it. But you really don't know how severe your case is going to be until you've lived with it for a while. I wouldn't be willingly be infected with it for any amount of money. I also feel bad for this guy. Yes, he should have told her. But the myth that an outbreak has to be active to transmit the disease is very very common. I don't think he intentionally did something to hurt her. She chose to have sex with someone that she didn't know their "status" when it comes to STD's. If she had asked, and he had lied, that would be a different story. If you're going to have sex with someone you don't know, you're taking a risk. Including the risk of getting an STD. Don't they teach this in sex ed?

MrsGoodkat · June 2012

hmp&mrj:
DH and I have a really strong marriage and friendship so I'm thinking we could make it for the long haul. If we could both take it, total of $1.8m for our family and we don't have to worry about giving it to our partner, I think I would do it. I have friends with herpes, sure it sucks but they live with it everyday without complaining.

What if your husband died a week later and you wanted to start a relationship with someone new down the road that doesn't want the herp?

numeria11 · June 2012

Kitiara5512:
Um, fuckings no. I took a sex and gender in society class way back in the day, and out of all the STDs we studied, that was the one that really freaked me out because there are no symptoms without an outbreak and you can only test the sores, not blood or urine or hair or nails, for the virus. Once you have it, it is incurable. Lavendar and px meds can reduce the outbreak, but nothing will cure it. Any child born via vaginal birth will wind up with ocular and/or other forms of herpes. Yes siree siroo, you can get herpes in the eyes. Those babies are born with bleeding eyes. So totally fuckings no, unless I was going to die really soon after I got it anyway and desperately needed to leave behind something to care for my husband and children.

Actually the bolded part is incorrect. This is only possibly true if you are having an active outbreak at the time of delivery. Otherwise if you know you have it your doc will put you on supression meds and as long as you are not having an active outbreak at the time of labor you can have a vaginal delivery and your kid will be fine. I know this because I too have it and delivered DD vaginally with no problems.

And the sad thing is I was one of those folks who asked anyone I ever slept with their status and used condoms, ironically I got mine from oral sex because my partner had a coldsore coming on and didnt realize it at the time. Also FYI something like 70-80% of this country actually carries herpes already, many in the form of Herpes Simplex 1 (the oral kind, ala coldsores).

hmp1 · June 2012

MrsGoodkat:
hmp&mrj:
DH and I have a really strong marriage and friendship so I'm thinking we could make it for the long haul. If we could both take it, total of $1.8m for our family and we don't have to worry about giving it to our partner, I think I would do it. I have friends with herpes, sure it sucks but they live with it everyday without complaining.
What if your husband died a week later and you wanted to start a relationship with someone new down the road that doesn't want the herp?

I would tell them I have herpes, if they dump me so be it.

If I was single at 40 and was really interested in a man, I don't think him having herpes would stop me from dating him.

hannahbagels · June 2012

MrsGoodkat:
hmp&mrj:
DH and I have a really strong marriage and friendship so I'm thinking we could make it for the long haul. If we could both take it, total of $1.8m for our family and we don't have to worry about giving it to our partner, I think I would do it. I have friends with herpes, sure it sucks but they live with it everyday without complaining.
What if your husband died a week later and you wanted to start a relationship with someone new down the road that doesn't want the herp?

Then the new guy isn't worth it.

DH was willing to marry me besides my having it. We've been married 2 years and he hasn't gotten it. If I ever sense an outbreak coming on, we don't have sex and I take a Valtrex. Yeah, I wish I could have gotten $900,000 but I don't think I'd willingly infect myself since once you get it you're nasty, gross, and no one will ever love you apparently..

desdemona39 · June 2012

judahsmommy1:
Kitiara5512:
Um, fuckings no. I took a sex and gender in society class way back in the day, and out of all the STDs we studied, that was the one that really freaked me out because there are no symptoms without an outbreak and you can only test the sores, not blood or urine or hair or nails, for the virus. Once you have it, it is incurable. Lavendar and px meds can reduce the outbreak, but nothing will cure it. Any child born via vaginal birth will wind up with ocular and/or other forms of herpes. Yes siree siroo, you can get herpes in the eyes. Those babies are born with bleeding eyes. So totally fuckings no, unless I was going to die really soon after I got it anyway and desperately needed to leave behind something to care for my husband and children.
Wow, there's some misinformation here. As someone who actually has herpes, yes, you can only test the sores. It's uncomfortable, but not terrible. My breakouts do not happen often and I use medication to manage them when they happen... daily medication is not required.
My child was born via vaginal birth and is 100% healthy. The son that I am about to have will be born (baring complications) via vaginal birth as well. A woman with herpes should take a suppression medication during her last month of pregnancy to prevent an active outbreak at the time of delivery. (Which would require a C-section.) You can actually get herpes anywhere (your arm, eyes, hands... etc...) and the same virus causes chicken pox.
If it were what I have now, w $900,000 I'd consider it. But you really don't know how severe your case is going to be until you've lived with it for a while. I wouldn't be willingly be infected with it for any amount of money. I also feel bad for this guy. Yes, he should have told her. But the myth that an outbreak has to be active to transmit the disease is very very common. I don't think he intentionally did something to hurt her. She chose to have sex with someone that she didn't know their "status" when it comes to STD's. If she had asked, and he had lied, that would be a different story. If you're going to have sex with someone you don't know, you're taking a risk. Including the risk of getting an STD. Don't they teach this in sex ed?

I don't buy that a medical professional who has had herpes for over 20 years didn't know how it could be transmitted.

Also, she handed him a condom and asked him to wear it. He lied to her saying he was wearing one, and he didn't disclose the herpes thing until afterward.

judahsmommy1 · June 2012

desdemona39:
judahsmommy1:
Kitiara5512:
Um, fuckings no. I took a sex and gender in society class way back in the day, and out of all the STDs we studied, that was the one that really freaked me out because there are no symptoms without an outbreak and you can only test the sores, not blood or urine or hair or nails, for the virus. Once you have it, it is incurable. Lavendar and px meds can reduce the outbreak, but nothing will cure it. Any child born via vaginal birth will wind up with ocular and/or other forms of herpes. Yes siree siroo, you can get herpes in the eyes. Those babies are born with bleeding eyes. So totally fuckings no, unless I was going to die really soon after I got it anyway and desperately needed to leave behind something to care for my husband and children.
Wow, there's some misinformation here. As someone who actually has herpes, yes, you can only test the sores. It's uncomfortable, but not terrible. My breakouts do not happen often and I use medication to manage them when they happen... daily medication is not required.
My child was born via vaginal birth and is 100% healthy. The son that I am about to have will be born (baring complications) via vaginal birth as well. A woman with herpes should take a suppression medication during her last month of pregnancy to prevent an active outbreak at the time of delivery. (Which would require a C-section.) You can actually get herpes anywhere (your arm, eyes, hands... etc...) and the same virus causes chicken pox.
If it were what I have now, w $900,000 I'd consider it. But you really don't know how severe your case is going to be until you've lived with it for a while. I wouldn't be willingly be infected with it for any amount of money. I also feel bad for this guy. Yes, he should have told her. But the myth that an outbreak has to be active to transmit the disease is very very common. I don't think he intentionally did something to hurt her. She chose to have sex with someone that she didn't know their "status" when it comes to STD's. If she had asked, and he had lied, that would be a different story. If you're going to have sex with someone you don't know, you're taking a risk. Including the risk of getting an STD. Don't they teach this in sex ed?
I don't buy that a medical professional who has had herpes for over 20 years didn't know how it could be transmitted.
Also, she handed him a condom and asked him to wear it. He lied to her saying he was wearing one, and he didn't disclose the herpes thing until afterward.

I missed the bolded part. If he told her he was wearing it when he wasn't, then that's a different story. Isn't he a dentist though? I don't think STDs are his specialty.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

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tabaskoa · June 2012

judahsmommy1:
desdemona39:
judahsmommy1:
Kitiara5512:
Um, fuckings no. I took a sex and gender in society class way back in the day, and out of all the STDs we studied, that was the one that really freaked me out because there are no symptoms without an outbreak and you can only test the sores, not blood or urine or hair or nails, for the virus. Once you have it, it is incurable. Lavendar and px meds can reduce the outbreak, but nothing will cure it. Any child born via vaginal birth will wind up with ocular and/or other forms of herpes. Yes siree siroo, you can get herpes in the eyes. Those babies are born with bleeding eyes. So totally fuckings no, unless I was going to die really soon after I got it anyway and desperately needed to leave behind something to care for my husband and children.
Wow, there's some misinformation here. As someone who actually has herpes, yes, you can only test the sores. It's uncomfortable, but not terrible. My breakouts do not happen often and I use medication to manage them when they happen... daily medication is not required.
My child was born via vaginal birth and is 100% healthy. The son that I am about to have will be born (baring complications) via vaginal birth as well. A woman with herpes should take a suppression medication during her last month of pregnancy to prevent an active outbreak at the time of delivery. (Which would require a C-section.) You can actually get herpes anywhere (your arm, eyes, hands... etc...) and the same virus causes chicken pox.
If it were what I have now, w $900,000 I'd consider it. But you really don't know how severe your case is going to be until you've lived with it for a while. I wouldn't be willingly be infected with it for any amount of money. I also feel bad for this guy. Yes, he should have told her. But the myth that an outbreak has to be active to transmit the disease is very very common. I don't think he intentionally did something to hurt her. She chose to have sex with someone that she didn't know their "status" when it comes to STD's. If she had asked, and he had lied, that would be a different story. If you're going to have sex with someone you don't know, you're taking a risk. Including the risk of getting an STD. Don't they teach this in sex ed?
I don't buy that a medical professional who has had herpes for over 20 years didn't know how it could be transmitted.
Also, she handed him a condom and asked him to wear it. He lied to her saying he was wearing one, and he didn't disclose the herpes thing until afterward.

I missed the bolded part. If he told her he was wearing it when he wasn't, then that's a different story. Isn't he a dentist though? I don't think STDs are his specialty.

I'm pretty sure just wearing a condom won't always prevent Herpes from spreading anyway. That's why they tell you not to have sex when you are having an outbreak. And even if you're not having an outbreak there's no guarantee that you won't spread it.

Regardless....if she asked him to wear a condom and he didn't he's an *ss.

quidditchcapn1120 · June 2012

judahsmommy1:
desdemona39:
judahsmommy1:
Kitiara5512:
Um, fuckings no. I took a sex and gender in society class way back in the day, and out of all the STDs we studied, that was the one that really freaked me out because there are no symptoms without an outbreak and you can only test the sores, not blood or urine or hair or nails, for the virus. Once you have it, it is incurable. Lavendar and px meds can reduce the outbreak, but nothing will cure it. Any child born via vaginal birth will wind up with ocular and/or other forms of herpes. Yes siree siroo, you can get herpes in the eyes. Those babies are born with bleeding eyes. So totally fuckings no, unless I was going to die really soon after I got it anyway and desperately needed to leave behind something to care for my husband and children.
Wow, there's some misinformation here. As someone who actually has herpes, yes, you can only test the sores. It's uncomfortable, but not terrible. My breakouts do not happen often and I use medication to manage them when they happen... daily medication is not required.
My child was born via vaginal birth and is 100% healthy. The son that I am about to have will be born (baring complications) via vaginal birth as well. A woman with herpes should take a suppression medication during her last month of pregnancy to prevent an active outbreak at the time of delivery. (Which would require a C-section.) You can actually get herpes anywhere (your arm, eyes, hands... etc...) and the same virus causes chicken pox.
If it were what I have now, w $900,000 I'd consider it. But you really don't know how severe your case is going to be until you've lived with it for a while. I wouldn't be willingly be infected with it for any amount of money. I also feel bad for this guy. Yes, he should have told her. But the myth that an outbreak has to be active to transmit the disease is very very common. I don't think he intentionally did something to hurt her. She chose to have sex with someone that she didn't know their "status" when it comes to STD's. If she had asked, and he had lied, that would be a different story. If you're going to have sex with someone you don't know, you're taking a risk. Including the risk of getting an STD. Don't they teach this in sex ed?
I don't buy that a medical professional who has had herpes for over 20 years didn't know how it could be transmitted.
Also, she handed him a condom and asked him to wear it. He lied to her saying he was wearing one, and he didn't disclose the herpes thing until afterward.

I missed the bolded part. If he told her he was wearing it when he wasn't, then that's a different story. Isn't he a dentist though? I don't think STDs are his specialty.

Are you being serious? I think you are unaware of how many science and pathology classes you have to take to be a dentist. We absolutely know how STD's are spread, especially herpes as that particular infection has oral and mucous membrane complications.

blondek8 · June 2012

J+MS:
No way. Herpes is painful and gross.

Yup. No thanks. $900K isn't enough for me to get the Herps. That *** is for lyfe.

Kitiara5512 · June 2012

judahsmommy1:

Thank you for clearing up some of the info. That class was from 1996, so its been a while, and I dont know how much progress has been made on the disease. I am sorry you are having to deal with it.

groovygrl · June 2012

didn't read all the responses but no.

Kitiara5512 · June 2012

numeria11:

Actually the bolded part is incorrect. This is only possibly true if you are having an active outbreak at the time of delivery. Otherwise if you know you have it your doc will put you on supression meds and as long as you are not having an active outbreak at the time of labor you can have a vaginal delivery and your kid will be fine. I know this because I too have it and delivered DD vaginally with no problems.

And the sad thing is I was one of those folks who asked anyone I ever slept with their status and used condoms, ironically I got mine from oral sex because my partner had a coldsore coming on and didnt realize it at the time. Also FYI something like 70-80% of this country actually carries herpes already, many in the form of Herpes Simplex 1 (the oral kind, ala coldsores).

That part I was aware of. I would think the majority of herpes transmissions would be done through oral, because a lot of people don't think much of cold sores or really notice them at all.

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