Despera gote for ideas/help/encouragement

Marcilene1 · June 2012

So Lucy has never been a good sleeper, but over the last few months it has gotten pretty unbearable. She wakes up and will. not. go back.to sleep. Last night she was up sceaming/laughing/dozing from 1-4. She is cutting molars, but I don't think this could be all a result of that. It's gotten to the point where I feel resentful of her. Like, I don't even want to play with her during the day because she is such a cranky mess and she hasn't let me sleep all night. She has had a routine since she was 2 months old and it works great getting her to sleep, but she never stays asleep. She has slept through the night twice (10:30-5). What can I do? Help!

Rachel5782 · June 2012

Have you tried sleep training? Im not sure if you are against it but IMO its better to let her cry in intervals a la Ferber for a few nights and get it over with than spend your days being resentful. I would feel resentful if my LO was awake that much too!

Marcilene1 · June 2012

You know, I've never felt comfortable with sleep training, but I'm seriously considering it now. The only thing is that if she is in pain because of the teething, I think the guilt would kill me. She's been teething since December though...

Sunidaze · June 2012

I have no advice for you, but on a small scale, I feel your pain: the other night, Stella was up from 1:30 until 5 a.m. Wide awake, like someone slipped her some caffeine laced with sugar - I put her on the floor for a while, with the lights still off, and she just crawled like crazy all around her room. I was seriously dragging at work all day yesterday and bedtime last night was rough. However, this is a rare occurrence for me and we just rolled with it.

Marcilene1 · June 2012

Ha. Just noticed I didn't even spell desperate right! Sorry. Sleep deprivation and all.

Rachel5782 · June 2012

She's going to be cutting teeth for a long time and you're going to make yourself a stressed out mama...not good for your LO. Our guy has been cutting teeth too and I'll give him a break a couple of those nights to comfort him but if I let him get away with it every night he would think it was playtime every night at 2am. Try Motrin for the teething. Our pedi says its better to use than Tylenol since tylenol is a fever reducer and Motrin is a pain reliever. Then read ferbers book. Just read it and see if you're still uncomfortable with CIO. It only took our guy 3 days and then he was sleeping like a champ. Those aren't easy 3 days but worth it because I know we're all happy campers in the morning.

jellybeanjean · June 2012

chrismo1013:
You know, I've never felt comfortable with sleep training, but I'm seriously considering it now. The only thing is that if she is in pain because of the teething, I think the guilt would kill me. She's been teething since December though...

I would definitely give sleep-training a go, especially with a newborn in the house. Eventually he won't be such a sound sleeper, and screaming/talking/playing/crying in the middle of the night may make it difficult for him to sleep.

I hear you on the teething, but my kids teeth from like 6mon-18mon. As long as she's not screaming a pain scream and you've done what you can for her (teething tablets, motrin, tylenol, etc), I think you can safely sleep train during the teething phase.

holocene · June 2012

I'm so sorry you are going through this, especially with a newborn in the house.

We had this exact problem. Our baby was waking up every.single.night from 1 until 3-4 am. It was unbearable.

My eyelashes started to fall out and I didn't even feel human anymore. I dreaded bed time and I found that I started to resent him during the day and especially in the middle of the night.

We did a variation of sleep training. We decided that we were uncomfortable with leaving him alone to cry, so instead we sat beside his crib and shushed him until he fell asleep. The first week was anywhere from 1-2 hours, second week 45 minutes - 1 hour. And it progressivly became less and less time. Now he's asleep within 5 minutes and stays asleep until the morning.

Good Luck!

MrsPBNJ0220 · June 2012

Have you tried an amber necklace? DS has always been a good sleeper, sorry, but just saying I can't relate in that aspect. Even when he had surgery he slept well after the 1st night. However, with that being said, when he is cutting teeth he is miserable, well we got the amber necklace and we have had no issues at all. Maybe consider that if you don't want to go the sleep training route first.

Marcilene1 · June 2012

holocene:

I'm so sorry you are going through this, especially with a newborn in the house.

We had this exact problem. Our baby was waking up every.single.night from 1 until 3-4 am. It was unbearable.

My eyelashes started to fall out and I didn't even feel human anymore. I dreaded bed time and I found that I started to resent him during the day and especially in the middle of the night.

We did a variation of sleep training. We decided that we were uncomfortable with leaving him alone to cry, so instead we sat beside his crib and shushed him until he fell asleep. The first week was anywhere from 1-2 hours, second week 45 minutes - 1 hour. And it progressivly became less and less time. Now he's asleep within 5 minutes and stays asleep until the morning.

Good Luck!

Hmm...That sounds reasonable. I'm up for hours in the middle of the night anyway. Maybe just leaving her in the crib would help.

CarlaAndJames · June 2012

Another vote for sleep training. You can sleep train and treat teething, just treat the symptoms, give comfort, but still train her to put herself to sleep. I highly recommend reading Ferber's book instead of just concluding that you could never do that. To incorporate teething, if I know that's what it is, I'll go in, give tablets and/or tylenol, rock her for a few minutes, but she must always go back in her bed awake and put herself to sleep.

I know you don't like the idea of her crying, but I'm willing to bet she's crying more now than she would during sleep training. She's just doing it all day long because she's chronically overtired.

march2008 · June 2012

I was not comfortable letting DD cry by herself. I read the No Cry Sleep Solution and Good Night Sleep Tight books. I took some suggestions from both of them. In the GNST book, you basically establish a really good sleep routine (something to help them wind down) and then over the course of a week or two you move from a chair next to the crib, to standing outside the room, if needed to comfort your LO. The first night you can shush/pat/comfort them as needed, but you do not pick them up unless they get hysterical. So, there may be some crying, but you will be right there to comfort them by patting their back or whatever makes them feel better without picking them up. Every 3 days you move your position further away from the crib and you comfort by only using soothing words. She calls it the Sleep Lady Shuffle in the book and it's a way to help them learn to fall asleep on their own, but they still know that you are right there and personally it made me feel much better that I could comfort her in some small way while she was learning to fall asleep. You do the same method for middle of the night wakings.

pregarella · June 2012

CarlaAndJames:

Another vote for sleep training. You can sleep train and treat teething, just treat the symptoms, give comfort, but still train her to put herself to sleep. I highly recommend reading Ferber's book instead of just concluding that you could never do that. To incorporate teething, if I know that's what it is, I'll go in, give tablets and/or tylenol, rock her for a few minutes, but she must always go back in her bed awake and put herself to sleep.

I know you don't like the idea of her crying, but I'm willing to bet she's crying more now than she would during sleep training. She's just doing it all day long because she's chronically overtired.

All of this...especially that last part.

MouseInLux · June 2012

We went through stage where DD did this. I ended up setting the bed up in DH's room and brining her into bed with me in there and getting her to sleep with me after she woke up. We had some crying but nothing bad. I just would pretend to sleep and keep returning her to a sleeping position and holding her arms/legs.

LollyBug18 · June 2012

I'm not going to push you to try Ferber or CIO but I was at your exact point (resenting DD) when we sleep trained back in December. I didn't want to have to do it but it got to the point where I was a bad mom for not doing so. I am NOT saying you're a bad mom, please don't read that, I'm saying I was not happy with myself as a mother because our sleep was just so horrible. We are designed to need sleep and when we don't get enough, it really affects us! I definitely suggest looking into the different options, maybe check the books out from the library and see which you think would be the best fit. Ferber's book is called "Solve your Child's Sleep Problems" and then there is "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" and also one called "Good Night, Sleep Tight", I think, and "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" (again, I think...). In the meantime, PP's suggestion of an amber teething necklace sounds like a good one. We have one for DD and it drastically reduces her discomfort but we also still resort to medicine to help her - tylenol or teething tabs or gel. Sometimes a combo of those. Good luck and hang in there momma, it will get better!

M&M227 · June 2012

If it were me when she woke I would give tylenol or motrin and then do Ferber's CIO. We did CIO for middle of the night, it's difficult but so worth it. DD sleeps 7 to 6:30 and I feel so rested now.

Marcilene1 · June 2012

Thanks everyone. I think I am going to try sitting by her crib until she falls asleep and see if that helps. We'll see....

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