Thank you MIL

MoFree · June 2012

My husband's mother is an odd combination of extreme financial generosity and incredible insensitivity. I am having a hard time forgiving her for the way she behaved after DH's nearly fatal automobile accident 2 1/2 years ago.

When DH told her I was on bedrest due to PTL and would most likely deliver early she commented, "Isn't it amazing how A (nephew's wife who is tiny) delivered full term twins and M (me) can't carry a full term singleton.". As if I don't feel guilty and badly enough about what's happening.

She made that comment after telling us she is purchasing us a fully loaded Bugaboo Cameleon.

MoFree · June 2012

mlynne37wiu:
Good Lord, she sounds like a gem. Hope you are doing ok, BTW.

There is such a disconnect between her words and her financial actions that I wonder about her sanity. Hard to believe this woman is a physician. I hope she shows more empathy for her patients.

irer · June 2012

She sounds awful. I am so sorry you have to deal with that nonsense. How are you doing? Hope you are ok. Also, I know you can't help how you feel, but you should not feel guilty about what has happened. It isn't your fault. Hang in there.

MoFree · June 2012

irer:
She sounds awful. I am so sorry you have to deal with that nonsense. How are you doing? Hope you are ok. Also, I know you can't help how you feel, but you should not feel guilty about what has happened. It isn't your fault. Hang in there.

I know intellectually the PTL was now caused by anything I did but emotionally is a different story. I am also angry that women who don't take care of themselves-gain too much weight, eat crap, don't exercise, manage anger destructively-have healthy full term babies.

Her lack of empathy does not surprise me based on her behavior when DH's survival was in question and she did not drop everything to visit him. On the other hand she gave us money to purchase a very high end nursery with change to spare. I guess the only way she can relate is through her checkbook.

Laruen · June 2012

If DH weren't an only child I would think that we had the same MIL. My MIL never thinks before she say's something its like word vomit all the time. She tells her nephew's wife who is a mother of twins that Baby D (my son) is so much more ahead of the twins who are 3 months older than my son.

It's nice that you are getting the fully loaded Bugaboo!

I really hope that you make it to term, and am sorry you are on bed rest. I really can't imagine how hard that must be.

AggieDaner · June 2012

Holy hell, what a charming thing to say to someone. She sounds like a peach.

MoFree · June 2012

I wanted to paste a photo of the stroller but don't know if link is working. It is a sand colored base with an orange canopy, perfect for the southwest.

hooslisa · June 2012

i'd have a hard time not telling her to shove the stroller up her a$$.

hang in there.

Daniellekrista · June 2012

Just reply: Bless your heart.

MoFree · June 2012

https://www.bugaboo.com/product?p_p_id=orderwave_WAR_orderwaveportlet_INSTANCE_gpX5&p_p_lifecycle=0&p_p_state=normal&p_p_mode=view&p_p_col_id=column-1&p_p_col_count=3&_orderwave_WAR_orderwaveportlet_INSTANCE_gpX5_struts_action=/orderwave/view&_orderwave_WAR_orderwaveportlet_INSTANCE_gpX5_GO_IMAGE_2=GO_IMAGE_2

Sorry it's not clickable, but a photo of the stroller.

I an tempted to tell her to shove it but that would not change anything in terms of our relationship.

tablefor6 · June 2012

MoFree:
mlynne37wiu:
Good Lord, she sounds like a gem. Hope you are doing ok, BTW.
There is such a disconnect between her words and her financial actions that I wonder about her sanity. Hard to believe this woman is a physician. I hope she shows more empathy for her patients.

being a physician explains alot, actually. they need to have such a disconnect from empathy because if they dont they'll go nuts with not being able to "save" everyone from their medical issues. ever watch House? similar concept - as long as you dont get attached to your patients there's no way it can effect you when they ultimately pass. sometimes she might need to be reminded that you're not patients, you're family.

its super exciting that she's getting you guys that stuff though. :-

LoveOfMikesLife · June 2012

Give me her address. She deserves a throat punch

poppyseed1017 · June 2012

Ew. I wouldn't want sh*t from her if those kinds of things came out of her mouth on the regular.

MoFree · June 2012

kikimo327:
poppyseed1017:
Ew. I wouldn't want sh*t from her if those kinds of things came out of her mouth on the regular.
Yup. What a crappy thing to say!

. I thought about it and even though her motives are less than altruistic (so FIL and SM can't buy it for us) the only way she relates to me is through her wallet. Thank goodness we live 2,500 miles away from her.

Salamander87 · June 2012

MoFree:
kikimo327:
poppyseed1017:
Ew. I wouldn't want sh*t from her if those kinds of things came out of her mouth on the regular.
Yup. What a crappy thing to say!
. I thought about it and even though her motives are less than altruistic (so FIL and SM can't buy it for us) the only way she relates to me is through her wallet. Thank goodness we live 2,500 miles away from her.

Did she tell you this over the phone? What a horrible thing to say to someone...not to mention, she should know that stature has nothing to do with pregnancy complications. That sounds like something that someone who has absolutely no health background would say.

LindsayDesigner · June 2012

Yowza. That is horrible thing to hear a family member say. But, holy cats! That is a NICE stroller!

Not that it excuses her behavior...that was terribly insensitive.

Want a personalized experience?

Thank you MIL

Re: Thank you MIL

Choose Another Board

Search Boards