Battle of wills once LO turns 1 year old?

clussyK · June 2012

DD just turned a year old last month and has been the sweetest baby up until recently. Seriously, she was always happy, started signing when she was hungry or all done and wouldn't just pipe up but now something's clicked and she lets out blood curdling screams if she doesn't feel like having her diaper changed, if you offer her more milk after she's only had a couple of oz and decided she's all done, if she's done eating and wants out of her high chair, if you try to take something away from her that she got a hold of which we may usually keep out of reach (remote control, phones, etc...) but were accidentally left out. This morning was the worst. We were in her playroom, having a grand 'ol time when suddenly she wanted my hair clip so she grabbed it from the floor next to me. A few minutes later, we were going to leave her playroom so I asked for it back, held out my hand and she got livid. I repeatedly asked her to give Mommy back her hair clip so that I could put my hair up and we could go and she yelled out so I had to actually take it from her and she tugged at it w/all her might and finally screamed and bit my hand. BAH! Now, I've heard some toddlers go through a biting phase and I know this is a time for her to start establishing her will and become a pinch more independent in ways but I didn't expect this day to night change of fierce will and many screams a day. How have you handled this? My ears can't take much more of this and I'm terrified of inadvertently encouraging this behavior.

Also, she doesn't act out at all for her daycare provider (my SIL), at least according to her and when I go to pick her up after work, she screeches at leaving my SIL's arms. Of note, my SIL does seem to give her LO's everything they want and doesn't really establish many if *any* boundaries on her sons who are a bit wild as a result.

Suddenly I'm a Mom to a teenager? Anyone else go through this? It makes me feel like absolute crap. Isn't it early for this?

(sorry for the ramblings but I'm at my wits ends, hence grammar taking a hit)

MamatoA2010 · June 2012

Sounds totally normal to me. Welcome to toddlerhood!

AlexKate45 · June 2012

My son has been like this as well since probably around age one. He's testing his limits, learning independence, and communicating the only way he knows how without words. He certainly "tests me" more than at daycare.

I do my best to get to him ask for what he wants (signing). If he has something we need to take away, we try and distract him. When he does throw a fit over not getting his way, we ignore it and often he stops. Sometimes I just remove him from the situation. Pick him up and walk over to the window to look at the trees, etc. until he forgets. He's always worse when he's tired or getting near snack/meal time. My son definitely has a temper. But it's normal development for this age to test you!

ByeBabyBunting · June 2012

my kid got 6 time outs in 2.5 hours last night. I think it's his personal best.

clussyK · June 2012

Initial reaction = Crying

But if this is not really out of the norm then I'll just not take it so personal. It's tough deciphering what's a result of one's parenting style and what's the norm. I've asked a couple of friends with little ones and they look at me like we potentially have a monster on our hands and they have angels. Liars! ((scowl))

ByeBabyBunting · June 2012

Scout2005:
Your friends are fullofshit.

Yes

clussyK · June 2012

Scout2005:
Your friends are fullofshit.

Normally this would be such a let down of a realization. In this case, I couldn't be happier to accept this as fact. I think the combination of being KU and this sudden change springing on me out so suddenly got me throwing a pity party for myself. If I weren't KU, I'd be drinking... heavily. Thanks for the reassurance.

Anne Mommy · June 2012

DS is just starting this. Since DH and I both worked with troubled kids, we are pretty good at handling it. (By pretty good, I mean I know when to walk away and have some wine). The only thing I can recommend is to not give extra attention for the behavior. If DS is screaming because I took something away, I leave the room. Of course I stay around so I can make sure he is ok. I just make it clear that he gets my attention when he is being nice- not when he is throwing a tantrum.

Manateearmz · June 2012

Hold on tight, this is where it gets bumpy. It's like the second she turned one she turned into a child possessed. Im going bald from ripping my hair out. Sorry but toddlers are terrible...cute....but terrible.