Bullying

Bemyselfandi · June 2012

I was bullied as a tween/teen. I am a very strong, outgoing person. I was a pretty, healthy girl who was active and had the body of a healthy barbie.

Somehow, girls found ways to make fun of me. Insecurities came out whether I was outgoing or not. I was made fun of for my ears, my last name, "thunder thighs", and some other things I can't think of at the moment. These things stick out, still. I'm 30. I graduated 12 years ago. I should be over this. I "friended" some of these girls on FB after their request. We ended up hanging out a little a few times. I realized why I never wanted to be their friend in the first place, but realized it's not just me they are mean to. 30 years old and these girls were saying stuff about their mom's and making fun of their hair, their clothes, etc. It made me think, it wasn't about me. It's totally about them and their feeling of having to control society to be "perfect" around them. Newsflash, not everyone has money, not everyone has a sense of fashion, and not everyone cares about what everyone thinks of what they look like.

Anyways, knowing this at 30, it makes a difference of how I deal with them. These "bullies" are not bullying because of the person they are bullying...it's all about them.

I started thinking about this after I saw one of those "Stop bullying" stickers. Instead of stopping the bullies, which I find way harder to do, I decided I will tell my daughter all about bullies and why they say and do mean things. Warn her that there always will be people who try to bring her down, but, she is worth much more than anything they could possibly say or do. Maybe if my mom had sat down with me and had these conversations, these girls wouldn't have made such an impact on me growing up.

Anyone else have thoughts on how they will address some of these things as their kids get older?

HoneyBunn24 · June 2012

I was bullied in High School, a friends older sister and her friends decided there was something wrong with me. I remember one day sitting the the cafe with now DH on spare and they were throwing pennies at us. One of them went to throw a larger coin and I heard "No, don't throw that, it will make her think she's worth more"

I wasn't friends with the younger sister long after that and there are still times I walk past any one of them and they still laugh and giggle and say things (I'm 25, married, baby on the way and working in my studied field) to make me feel like somehow I need to beg for their approval...when it's really the farthest thing from what I could ever want.

I plan to teach my children that what bullies do/say is not OK and they are not correct in their thoughts/opinions/actions. It's still hard though. It's not easy to block out what bullies have to say...especially when it's said every day.

KayaXavier · June 2012

I hope along with the bullying stuff, you will teach your daughter that self worth doesn't come from being "pretty" or having the "body of a healthy Barbie", whatever that means. The beginning of this post just rubs me wrong and makes me think maybe you were bullied for being conceited or that your self esteem comes from the wrong place. I could be totally off base but describing yourself as a healthy barbie is very, very strange. I'm all for plus size women loving themselves but that's odd.

abeaverhausen2 · June 2012

KayaXavier:
I hope along with the bullying stuff, you will teach your daughter that self worth doesn't come from being "pretty" or having the "body of a healthy Barbie", whatever that means. The beginning of this post just rubs me wrong and makes me think maybe you were bullied for being conceited or that your self esteem comes from the wrong place. I could be totally off base but describing yourself as a healthy barbie is very, very strange. I'm all for plus size women loving themselves but that's odd.

Yea, I find this post odd as well.

Nikko Blue · June 2012

I think the way adults approach a situation and tweens/teens do is completely different. It's very hard for them to rationalize that the bullying is temporary even if they understand why they are being bullied.

Bemyselfandi · June 2012

abeaverhausen2:
KayaXavier:
I hope along with the bullying stuff, you will teach your daughter that self worth doesn't come from being "pretty" or having the "body of a healthy Barbie", whatever that means. The beginning of this post just rubs me wrong and makes me think maybe you were bullied for being conceited or that your self esteem comes from the wrong place. I could be totally off base but describing yourself as a healthy barbie is very, very strange. I'm all for plus size women loving themselves but that's odd.
Yea, I find this post odd as well.

I guess I was just posting a "picture" of...no matter what you look like, pretty, and all, you will still be bullied by people who think they are better than you. I wasn't plus size in high school. I was stating that in high school I was a healthy weight. Guess I wrote it wrong, didn't mean it to be strange or odd.

KayaXavier · June 2012

Bemyselfandi:
abeaverhausen2:
KayaXavier:
I hope along with the bullying stuff, you will teach your daughter that self worth doesn't come from being "pretty" or having the "body of a healthy Barbie", whatever that means. The beginning of this post just rubs me wrong and makes me think maybe you were bullied for being conceited or that your self esteem comes from the wrong place. I could be totally off base but describing yourself as a healthy barbie is very, very strange. I'm all for plus size women loving themselves but that's odd.
Yea, I find this post odd as well.
I guess I was just posting a "picture" of...no matter what you look like, pretty, and all, you will still be bullied by people who think they are better than you. I wasn't plus size in high school. I was stating that in high school I was a healthy weight. Guess I wrote it wrong, didn't mean it to be strange or odd.

Oh, sorry, I usually hear "healthy" as a euphemism for plus sixe, didn't mean to assume. I just think of Barbie as being the worst physically role model for women.

Want a personalized experience?

Bullying

Re: Bullying

Choose Another Board

Search Boards