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January 2012 Moms
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Taking baby to wake

BulldogLoveBulldogLove member
in January 2012 Moms
My son is 4 months old and is an excellent baby, barely ever cries unless hungry, has gas or is over tired.  Our daycare provider's husband unexpectedly passed away this week.  We have only been using her for 6 weeks, but have felt very comfortable and close to her right from the beginning.  (She is the type of person who makes you feel like family from the instant of meeting her.)  She has 3 children, 2 of which go to my school where I am a teacher.  We don't have family close by to watch him for the wake.  Do you think it is acceptable to take him to the wake?  What would you do in my case?
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Re: Taking baby to wake

  • lp0lp0 member
    I would probably try and make other arrangements but if you absolutely have to take your baby I would either have you or your dh stay in the front room with the baby away from the casket (or urn). Then you guys can switch off so the other could go in to pay your respects. I don't think it's appropriate to take a baby in there, just my opinion.
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  • kiwiadiremWed231308kiwiadiremWed231308 member

    A dear friend of ours just passed away last month and we took DS to both the wake and the funeral service. He was not the only baby there and we heard many people say how nice it was to see the new little ones there. Really shows the full circle of life. Just a different perspective. We did stay off to the side and made sure not to make a scene. 

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  • besu-chanbesu-chan
    As your LO's caretaker I bet she would be thrilled to see him there, but I agree with pp that it might be best to take turns going in just in case. It's not the kind of thing that you would want to risk a baby disrupting in any way if possible. If you think it would be encouraging to her to see him, then you could mention that you brought LO along and he is just outside the door if she wants to say hi. I don't know, if it were me I would LOVE to see a smiley baby face that I know at a time like this.
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  • michelle_1221michelle_1221 member
    imagebesu-chan:
    As your LO's caretaker I bet she would be thrilled to see him there, but I agree with pp that it might be best to take turns going in just in case. It's not the kind of thing that you would want to risk a baby disrupting in any way if possible. If you think it would be encouraging to her to see him, then you could mention that you brought LO along and he is just outside the door if she wants to say hi. I don't know, if it were me I would LOVE to see a smiley baby face that I know at a time like this.
    This! I'd feel different if it was the actual funeral though.
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  • michelle_1221michelle_1221 member
    If nothing else, you could always just sent a plant to her house.
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  • MrsAMB07MrsAMB07 member

    We had a family funeral when DS was about that age. Anyone we would have left him with was going. He was also a very good baby, so that was a factor in my decision. People actually thanked me for bringing him because he was a bright spot in a very sad day. My family is very kid/baby centered though. I couldnt see the same reaction with DH's family. I'm guessing your daycare provider would be okay with it and may even welcome the distraction. You don't have to stay for the whole wake if you feel uncomfortable once you get there.

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