It's been a month since I m/c but I just found out my bf is pregnant and I'm a mess. It's not that I'm not happy for her but this girl has forcibly made herself m/c in college, she did drugs, smokes and drinks daily and hid it from her family so she didn't go to doctors and didn't take prenatals. Nothing! Then there is me who eats extrememly healthy, took prenatals, never smokes, and drinks pretty lightly on special occassions and I m/c. She is having a healthy baby and I get nothing.
I came home upset after hearing this and my husband got mad at me saying that I needed to get over it and move on. That I shoudl go talk to someone so I can move on. The pregnancy was a surprise but I've wanted to be a mother since I was little. It is all I've ever wanted. To finally have it and then lose it is devastating to me. I don't understand how he can't see that? It wasn't planned but I've been planning on haveing a kid before I was planning to have a husband (my barbies always got knocked up).
I do have support from some family but I really wish I had the support of my husband to know that this is still devestating and scary for me. AND he wants to wait a while (5 months) before we try this time. All that time I'm going to be wondering if I will ever be able to get pregant again and it just worries me all the time.
Re: DH just doesn't get it
I am sorry you are going through this. Husbands can be difficult. Their experience just isn't the same as ours is, I think.
I have a good for nothing cousin that is due any week now, and it is driving me nuts, so I can only imagine how you feel about your bf.
I don't know what else to say, other than sorry.
Fab Life of K
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
Just because your husband doesn't get it doesn't mean that he has the right to tell you to move on. You are fully allowed to grieve how you are comfortable. Of course I know you're happy for your friend but the timing couldn't be much worse.
I hope you're able to explain to your husband how you're feeling without getting cut off like that again.
Good luck and I'm sorry for your loss...
Im sorry for your loss.
My DH is the same as yours...he has completly moved on from it and gets upset at me when I get sad when hearing about friends having their babies. We have two friends who are due a week before us - both of which we found out about after we lost ours.
My opinion is that they get over it quicker because they didnt have that bond, although short, it was still a bond. He doesnt understand how I could have felt a connection to our baby after just 7 weeks. They just cant understand.
I have been using this community of ladies as my support. We are all here for you good & bad {hugs}
Oct 21/13. Beta 360 @ 16 dpo
Oct 23/13. Beta 749 @ 18 dpo
Nov 24/13. Saw HB (141bpm) & baby wiggle around via ultrasound @ 9w5d due date changed to June 23!!
Dec 6/13. Heard HB (122bpm) via Doppler at OB @ 11w3d
Jan 9/14. Heard HB (124bpm) via Doppler at OB @ 16w3d irregular beat
Jan 29/14. DH felt kicks for first time @ 19w3d
Feb 2/14. Saw baby via ultrasound (quick scan in ER) @ 19w6d
Feb 6/14. Heard HB (126-134bpm) via Doppler @ 20w3d normal beat
Feb 15/14. AS - baby looked great (measured 1w small) and would NOT let us see sex! @ 21w5d
Feb 20/14 3D US - its a GIRL!!!!! @ 22w3d
Feb 27/14. Repeat AS for more pics, HB 124bpm @ 23w3d
Mar 6/14. Heard HB (130bpm) via Doppler @ 24w3d
Are we related lol? I also have a crazy cousin due next week. So not fair.
OP: Sorry you're going through this. My husband and I had a big fight when I thought he wasn't being sensitive enough to how I was coping with our loss. We ended up having a big talk about it the other day and he's just under alot of pressure at work and was just having a hard time coping with my emotions and his work stress at the same time. It was good to get everything out on the table and we also decided that I would go see a councellor that will hopefully give me some coping techniques to help deal with our loss.
Good luck, feel free to pm me if you have any questions about my councelling experience. I am seeing one after work today.
BFP#2 CP Sept 17th 2012 at 4.5 wks. EDD May 23 2013
BFP#3 EDD June 24th 2013 IT'S A GIRL!
BFP#4 EDD March 2 2015
BFP #1: Mother's Day 5/13/12...m/c Memorial Day Weekend 5/26/12
BFP #2: 2/16/13...Owen Ray born 6 weeks early 9/9/13