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Over reacting?

HeartsOnABandHeartsOnABand
in August 2012 Moms

Last night while laying in bed I asked DH to rub my lower back/hips to help relieve pressure/pain that I've been experiencing there. While massaging me he mentions his arms hurt from work (he pulls wire all day long) so I made the comment that I'm sure they do hurt but so do my feet, pelvis, back, etc. from the extra weight and pressure of the baby. He then proceeds to say he thinks I over react about my pain. I was kind of confused and it threw me off because I'm not an over exaggerator or anything like that, the only time he even knows I'm in pain is not by me telling him but by me switching sides at night or getting up and walking around to relive the discomfort. So yes, I woke up this morning with his words in my head. Do they really think we over react about things? Is it just my DH? Ugh, men will never understand!! LOL. 

 

Sorry this could be classified as a vent I was just so frustrated about his comment. 

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Re: Over reacting?

  • AutumnLeaves2AutumnLeaves2 member
    Everyone handles pain differently and everyone has different pain tolerances. Some people can have the same amount of pain and they register them on two completely different levels. I have a pretty good pain tolerance, so my husband knows better than to add in his two cents when I'm talking about whatever ache or pain I may be having. I do, however, think that your husband was out of line to tell you you're overracting when he's never experienced any remote kind of pregnancy pain. I'd be a little miffed.
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  • CLeigh03CLeigh03 member
    I'd be annoyed. I rarely complain so if I do I expect some amount of sympathy from my DH. Sometimes he gets it - sometimes he doesn't. When it's the latter, I make sure it's clear to him how I am feeling.
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  • dufferoodufferoo member
    I think you said it best yourself: Men just really won't ever understand!
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  • BemyselfandiBemyselfandi member
    Men will never understand. Days SO works hard at work and is super tired, he doesn't put into account I'm exhausted pregnant and running around after a 19 month old throughout the day. He'll complain to me and I'll just give him a dirty look.
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  • Ladiebug710Ladiebug710 member
    No they dont get it.  I have been trying very hard to spend as little money as possible on this pregnancy.  The only maternity clothes I have bought are 5 or 6 dresses that i got on BOGO at motherhood for a total of $137.  (I wear hospital issued scrubs at work every day so I haven't had to buy any clothes for work at all.) So now that my normal yoga pants that I wear around the house are just too tight, I broke out some of my old plus sized ones from before I lost 70lbs.  They dont fit well at all, mostly they are huge, but at least they aren't tight.  Well last night that lead to a lecture about getting too fat (I've gained less than 10 lbs becuase I am well aware that whatever I gain I have to lose again after).  I mean really, I think at 29 weeks it is ok to not fit in your regular pants.  Sorry that wasnt about pain, I just had to vent

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  • HeartsOnABandHeartsOnABand
    Thanks ladies, this makes me feel better to see others are agreeing they would be bothered too. After he told me that last night I just laughed and said "tell a room full of expecting woman that they are over reacting on their symptoms, they would have your neck!" Its funny how the male mind works.
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  • ufmelissaufmelissa

    That would make me really mad too.  Who is he to judge how much pain you're in?

    I had excruciating pain in my tooth on Memorial Day (turns out I had a cracked filling and the root had gotten infected, requiring a root canal).  Anyway, I was in so much pain, that I broke down crying.   DH came home from running errands and knew something was horribly wrong. First of all, I never cry and second of all, I have a very high pain threshold so he called the after hours line for our dentist and got them to call me in a prescription for pain meds.  Thank god for his sympathy because I don't know what I would have done if he'd just told me to suck it up or something.

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  • Blaker2012Blaker2012 member
    You are def. NOT over reacting! I don't think they understand at all. Last night DH and I were talking about all of the changes in my body and me being nervous about the birth and no matter how prepared I can be (i.e. birthing classes, research, etc.) I still don't know exactly HOW the birth is going to go...he compared it to his knee surgery. I know it was a big deal and all, the Dr. talked us through the steps being taken and it took the scheduled amount of time and he was home 5 hours later. SO NOT THE SAME THING! It made me cry that even compared the two. :(
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