(hopefully) Irrational Daycare Fear

MamaAllison · May 2012

Hi ladies! Hope it is ok that I am posting here - I currently SAH but will be teaching again next fall. Today I went and toured 4 daycare centers and of course it was a little emotional. Luckily the last two I toured were much better than the first two (tear-provoking) ones. I know she will be fine, but the 4-1 ratio scares me. I know it is what basically all centers do, but it just seems like the majority of the time she will be fending for herself so to speak. E is a really happy child, all smiles all the time. I'm sure this is partly because she gets exactly what she wants/needs without ever having to wait for it (spoiled??? maybe!?! ) My concern is that once she is in daycare that her personality might change.

Did any of you notice a change like that when your kids went to daycare? FWIW she will be 11 months when she starts.

Hope this even makes sense, I hope people will tell me I'm being FTM crazy.

TIA!

AZ123 · May 2012

I think it is a normal fear but not going to happen. DS2 has been in daycare since he was 6 months old and people comment all the time how he's the happiest smiling baby. It is just his personality and daycare hasn't changed that. If anything, it has brought out more in him because he's extremely personable. He smiles at everyone and he's okay with just about anyone holding him. That's because of his experience with the daycare workers.

Yes, he has times during the day where he's sitting on the floor playing with toys by himself but honestly, that's good for them. Independent play is extremely important in their development and you don't want a child that you have to entertain 24/7 because that just isn't realistic. The daycare does have scheduled intervals of time where they are entertained with a teacher sitting on the floor with them playing with them, singing songs, reading books or doing some sort of craft.

preggersin2011 · May 2012

While the ratio is 4:1, I chose a center that has 8 babies in a room with 2 teachers. It made me feel more comfortable.

laurakaz13 · May 2012

At 11 months old my DD was running all over the place. She was so excited to be at daycare playing with all the other kids.

An 11 month old doesn't need to have attention from the teachers 24/7. They learn to play by themselves or with other kids.

When DD needs to be held or picked up, she is. They just take turns and sometimes her teachers have various babies they're paying attention to at the same time.

Honestly, daycare has been the best thing ever for my child. She is so social, happy, and she adores her teachers. I love watching her run off to them when I drop her off, and DH and/or I love having her run to us when we pick her up.

If your child's personality changes, it will just be for the better. She'll be more independent, social and just have more people who love her in her life.

bearkatjen · May 2012

preggersin2011:
While the ratio is 4:1, I chose a center that has 8 babies in a room with 2 teachers. It made me feel more comfortable.

This. 4:1 sounds bad to me, but when I see two teachers in a room with eight babies, it works well. When we toured the infant room at DS's new daycare, 1 teacher was playing with two babies on a blanket, another teacher was holding and playing with a baby, and everyone else was napping. It was a cozy room, so none of the babies felt far away or alone. I felt good about the set up and the teacher to child ratio once I could see it in action.

I remember having DS home at that age, and he didn't need me all the time. He napped, he had some excersaucer time, some bouncer time, time on the floor with toys, and then of course time with me playing, singing, and cuddling.

virginiagirl11 · May 2012

MamaAllison:
Hi ladies! Hope it is ok that I am posting here - I currently SAH but will be teaching again next fall. Today I went and toured 4 daycare centers and of course it was a little emotional. Luckily the last two I toured were much better than the first two (tear-provoking) ones. I know she will be fine, but the 4-1 ratio scares me. I know it is what basically all centers do, but it just seems like the majority of the time she will be fending for herself so to speak. E is a really happy child, all smiles all the time. I'm sure this is partly because she gets exactly what she wants/needs without ever having to wait for it (spoiled??? maybe!?! ) My concern is that once she is in daycare that her personality might change.
Did any of you notice a change like that when your kids went to daycare? FWIW she will be 11 months when she starts.
Hope this even makes sense, I hope people will tell me I'm being FTM crazy.
TIA!

My son (13 months) is starting daycare on Monday. I'm a nervous wreck myself. There are some things I have issues with and some things I'm okay with. I'm okay with the 4:1 ratio at our daycare as there are 2 teachers and only 8 kids in the room (and often fewer than that due to illness or parents' schedules, etc.). In that type of environment, I feel that 4:1 is definitely manageable.

I have no idea how this will affect DS's temperament so I guess we'll see. He is not a super easy-going baby, but rather extremely curious and friendly yet intense. He is a bit of a challenge to care for by people who are not us and who don't know him and his preferences as well as we do. For the last two months, we have had a 2-3 times/week babysitter of whom he is not very fond and, while he is grumpy during the day with her, he is his normal self with us. I'm hoping that will stay that way....that he will act however he will act at daycare (hopefully pleasantly) and be his normal self with us at home.

ksyknelvr73 · May 2012

I can understand your concern, but in my experience that hasn't been the case at all (personality change). DS has always been SO happy, cuddly, loving and sweet - and DC hasn't changed that at all. He loves being there and loves interacting with other kids and teachers. I don't really love a 4:1 ratio when they are tiny babies, but when they are toddlers it doesn't bother me as much. DS has been in DC since 4 months and he has never had a problem. They have great areas for each age group and they are safe and baby-proofed and they do a good job of watching multiple children (again, in my experience). I hope that helps! Good luck with this!

Abinormal · May 2012

Like other posters have said, 4:1 means that if there are 4 babies, there only has to be 1 teacher. However, if there are 5 babies, there has to be 2 teachers. So, you end up with a really decent ratio. Plus, most daycares tend to keep two teachers in the infant room, even if there are less than 4 babies. The end of the day would be the exception, since people are getting off shift and there are fewer adult bodies, but since babies are leaving as well, the ratio really works out just fine.

Yes, when my daughter went to daycare (at 12 weeks) she definitely didn't have her needs met instantly. That just wasn't a possibility all the time. However, I never once doubted that her needs were addressed and met within 5 minutes of her being upset. I even noticed that if both teachers were busy with a baby and another baby started crying, at least one of the teachers would talk to the baby in a soothing voice, until they were able to help the crying/upset baby.

I did not notice a difference in my daughter's personality. If anything, I noticed that her personality became stronger and she seemed a bit more able to self soothe, even at home.

Tikat · June 2012

I'd second that by then she will be mobile and shooting the breeze with the other kids. You will find that daycare gives them excellent skills to keep themselves occupied!

jiffy-pop · June 2012

My DD has always been happy and smiley. Her DCP didn't change her attitude one bit. They have always commented on what a good baby she is and that she likes to sit and watch the other babies.

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