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I don't remember

lhakerslhakers
in Late Term and Child Loss
who I was before Sofia passed away... does anyone else feel this way?
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Re: I don't remember

  • samakasrcsamakasrc member
    I feel this way all the time... I'm such a different person now than I was before, and I suspect that I'll be a dramatically different person this time next year.  Its crazy how much a journey like this changes a person...
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  • foxxy1foxxy1 member
    I remember who I was...pretty shallow and superficial, lol! I really did a 180 since Ethan. I don't miss that old chick AT ALL.
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  • fluttergirlmoonchild79fluttergirlmoonchild79 member
    I don't remember who I was then and I don't know who I am now.  The only thing I remember is being a mommy and loving every minute of it for 36 days.

     

    In memory of Corbin Scott 10/28/11-12/3/11. Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind Heaven got a little better the day it took you away from me Missing you tonight, see you again sometime For now I'll close my eyes and dream of heaven tonight I'll love you forever I'll like you for always Now and Forever My baby you'll be

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  • lhakerslhakers

    imagefluttergirlmoonchild79:
    I don't remember who I was then and I don't know who I am now.  The only thing I remember is being a mommy and loving every minute of it for 36 days.

    This.  Except mine was for a shorter amount of time.

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  • weddedwifeweddedwife member

    Lol Foxy! Good for you.

    I DO remember who I was and that is part of what makes me sad. Sure, I am now wiser, more sensitive to others pain, and more thankful for what I do have. But I was happy before, and optimistic, and well kind of carefree and that's what I miss. 

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  • tuscanbride2007tuscanbride2007 member
    imageweddedwife:

    Lol Foxy! Good for you.

    I DO remember who I was and that is part of what makes me sad. Sure, I am now wiser, more sensitive to others pain, and more thankful for what I do have. But I was happy before, and optimistic, and well kind of carefree and that's what I miss. 

    I agree wholeheartedly with this.

    BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08
    BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12

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    BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
    BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13
    BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14

    No longer trying to conceive.

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  • xxswebbxxxxswebbxx
    imageweddedwife:

    Lol Foxy! Good for you.

    I DO remember who I was and that is part of what makes me sad. Sure, I am now wiser, more sensitive to others pain, and more thankful for what I do have. But I was happy before, and optimistic, and well kind of carefree and that's what I miss. 

    THIS. I've always been a prepare for the worse & pray for the best kinda person but now I feel like I'll never be truely happy again.

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  • tubbsy32tubbsy32
    YES! There are times I look in the mirror and don't even recognize myself!
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  • whiteroses05whiteroses05 member
    imageweddedwife:

    Lol Foxy! Good for you.

    I DO remember who I was and that is part of what makes me sad. Sure, I am now wiser, more sensitive to others pain, and more thankful for what I do have. But I was happy before, and optimistic, and well kind of carefree and that's what I miss. 

    This and also my drive to have another child or be pregnant is even stronger. Its over taking my life in some ways. I have to stay focused on something else inorder to distract myself about everything. Harder to shut my mind of what happened and what can happen when we do get pregnant again. I also become more jealous of moms I see. I used to think wow she is lucky...good for her. Now its I really wish that was me or it should be me.

    BFP#1 9/7/11 EDD 7/23/11 mc @21 weeks caused severe bladder obstruction on 3/14/12
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  • JessicaRobbJessicaRobb member
    imageweddedwife:

    Lol Foxy! Good for you.

    I DO remember who I was and that is part of what makes me sad. Sure, I am now wiser, more sensitive to others pain, and more thankful for what I do have. But I was happy before, and optimistic, and well kind of carefree and that's what I miss. 

    Definitely this! And fluttergirl, your post breaks my heart :( big hugs to you!

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  • johnnys junejohnnys june member

    I remember how I was....

    The worst part is looking in the mirror and asking who I am now....the next question...who do I want to be....

    I miss the old me - carefree, fun loving, easy going, friendly....

    I'm not sure I'll ever know who I am.  I'm just always trying to be someone Logan can be proud of now and forever. 

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  • medblaismedblais
    I feel like I remember who I was, and I wish sometimes I still was that person. But I'm not. I am forever changed and trying to figure out a new normal.
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  • lhakerslhakers
    imagewhiteroses05:
    imageweddedwife:

    Lol Foxy! Good for you.

    I DO remember who I was and that is part of what makes me sad. Sure, I am now wiser, more sensitive to others pain, and more thankful for what I do have. But I was happy before, and optimistic, and well kind of carefree and that's what I miss. 

    This and also my drive to have another child or be pregnant is even stronger. Its over taking my life in some ways. I have to stay focused on something else inorder to distract myself about everything. Harder to shut my mind of what happened and what can happen when we do get pregnant again. I also become more jealous of moms I see. I used to think wow she is lucky...good for her. Now its I really wish that was me or it should be me.

     

    This as well!  I love hearing from all of you... it helps me understand and articulate my emotions when I can't find words for them.

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  • mammamellamammamella
    I'm so glad someone posted this....I remember who I was before, and I don't want to be that person b/c THAT person lost her baby. I was reading a lot of my friends post on facebook over the past few days, and it all seems so shallow.....
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  • lhakerslhakers

    imagemammamella:
    I'm so glad someone posted this....I remember who I was before, and I don't want to be that person b/c THAT person lost her baby. I was reading a lot of my friends post on facebook over the past few days, and it all seems so shallow.....

    Well said.

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  • pottermommypottermommy member

    I remember who I was, I just can't be her again.  She was happy and carefree and fun and silly.

    I still have some onf those characteristics but not likt before, they are a shaddow of who I was.  I am a different person and this is who I will be forver.

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