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Sometimes it just hurts....

sammer818sammer818 member
in TTC After a Loss
We were talking about something today at work, and my coworker replied "Trust us. We're all moms here...except Sam, but she agrees with us too." It never stops hurting when someone says something like that. *Sigh* I know she didn't mean anything by it but that doesn't make me feel any better.

TTC since April 2010
BFP #1 – March 2011, missed m/c April 2011
BFP #2 – October 2011, m/c November 2011
Surprise BFP #3 – December 2011, diagnosed as cornual, terminated January 2012
BFP #4 – June 2012, m/c July 2012
Diagnosed with bicornuate ute and MTHR gene mutation
BFP #5 – October 2012, missed m/c November 2012
BFP #6 – January 2013, m/c March 2013
No longer TTC. Diagnosis: Hostile ute. Heartbroken and bitter. Pursuing surrogacy.
June 2013 - Carrier found! Could this really happen?!
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~All AL always welcome~

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Re: Sometimes it just hurts....

  • Mmm79Mmm79 member
    Ouch.  It's tough when people thoughtlessly say things like that- especially when they come out of nowhere. I hope your day gets better.

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    BFP#1 11/12/11 ~ No heartbeat 12/12/11 ~ D&C 12/19/11
    BFP#2 3/25/12 ~ Heartbeat 141 4/16/12 ~ No heartbeat 4/25/12 ~ D&C 04/30/12 
    BFP#3 7/16/12 ~ EDD 3/26/13 ~ It's a BOY ~ DOB 2/26/13






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  • KikiCohenKikiCohen member

    What a horrible thing to say.... :( 

    FWIW, I still consider myself a mom.  The way I see it, I carried my LO even though it was a few short weeks.  I'm still that baby's mother. 

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  • luvsdogs2luvsdogs2 member
    What a b!tch!  Even if you hadn't been through what you've been through, why would somebody single you out like that.  And if she knows what you've been through, I would have had a big old "Fluck you" for her.
    TTC #1 since April 2010
    BFP 4/18/12, M/C 4/27/12 at 6w6d
    BFP 7/1/12 - Counting down to our little girl, EDD 3/8/13
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  • panacea05panacea05 member

    I'm so sorry your co-worker said that. I know how much it must have stung.

    Also, if she knows about your losses, she's a giant idiot.

    It was a rough road, but Arlo Daniel was born April 1, 2013—and our second rainbow is due October 12, 2014.
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  • kiki4kiki4 member
    That was so unnecessary...I'm sorry she said that. ((hugs))
    BFP 1/19/12 No heartbeat at 7w4d 3rd dose Cytotec 3/1/12
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  • ChloBubChloBub member
    imagepanacea05:

    I'm so sorry your co-worker said that. I know how much it must have stung.

    Also, if she knows about your losses, she's a giant idiot.

    This. Although it's happened to me, too. (((((HUGS)))))

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    BFP#1: 9-13-11 EDD: 5-26-12 MMC: 11-4-11 D&C: 11-8-11
    BFP#2: 7-6-12 Elizabeth Faye ("Zuzu") born 3-21-13
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  • mgh2008mgh2008 member
    Ugh!  That's terrible.  I am so sorry.  People just don't think sometimes before speaking, or they do and are just idiots.
    BFP #1- 12/3/09, EDD- 8/7/10, Missed M/C at 8 weeks & D&C- 1/5/10, BFP #2- July 2010, Baby Charlie Born March 29, 2011, BFP #3- 4/12/12- EDD- 12/21/12, Missed M/C at 10 1/2 weeks 5/29/12, D&C 6/1/12- testing results showed triploidy, IF testing all normal, February 2013- IUI#1, femara, follistim, trigger =BFN, March 2013- IUI#2, femara, follistim, trigger= BFP #4, 3/20/12, Beta#1 16dpo= 397, Beta #2 18dpo= 1037, Beta#3 24dpo= 11,589- EDD 11/30/13- It's a Girl!!! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
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  • jenn0021jenn0021 member
    I'm so sorry. I've had this happen to me before too. My boss (who knows about both my losses) will say something like "you're not a mother so you wouldn't understand". It stings every time. ((Hugs))
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    Started TTC June 2010
    BFP #1     07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
    BFP #2 01/14/11. EDD 09/25/11. Missed m/c 02/18/11. D&C 02/24/11. }Dustin{
    TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
    BFP #3 08/18/13. EDD 04/30/14. Missed m/c 09/25/13. D&C 09/26/13. }Daylin{
    TTA for 7 months
    Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
    TTC Again May 2014
    Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles     - All BFN's
    SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results
    Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
    TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
    Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
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  • big_noisebig_noise member
    Sad Sending a hug your way. That stuff hurts.
    BFP #1, 12/22/09 - DD#1 born 9/2010
    BFP #2, 12/12/11, m/c 12/25/11
    BFP #3, 3/09/12, CP 3/10/12
    BFP #4, 7/22/12, DD#2 born 4/2013
     

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  • imwithrebelimwithrebel
    I'm sorry. The other day at work someone (who doesn't know about our IF or losses) pointed out "Oh every other teacher has kids at the school except for you, huh?" Yep, thanks for reminding me. :(
    imageimage After 2 years of trying with PCOS, 7 rounds of Clomid/Femara, and 2 early miscarriages, we finally found success. :) Due on April 24, 2013! Beta 1 (16 dpo): 477, Beta 2 (19 dpo): 1568, Beta 3 (21 dpo): 3560 Aug 24 - 5w ultrasound - 1 8mm gestational sac Aug 31 - 6w ultrasound - 1 empty 15 mm gestational sac - possible blighted ovum - Beta 41,716 Sept 7 - 7w ultrasound - 2 sacs, heart beats, and fetal poles - TWINS!! Baby A measuring 6w4d, Baby B measuring 6w6d BabyFruit Ticker
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  • dtowngirldtowngirl
    I'm sorry you had to go through that. Unfortunately, others don't consider us moms. Everyone in my group at work (although they're all older) has at least 1 child. Thankfully, everyone but my manager knows what happened to me and never brings anything like that up.
    BabyFruit Ticker BFP #1 - 1-25-2012. Missed M/C discovered at 9 weeks 3 days. D&C 3-9-2012

    BFP #2 - 10-11-2012 Beta 38, 10-15-2012 Beta 518!.
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  • minicheezburgminicheezburg member
    Wow what a crap-tastic thing for them to say. That is when I would have to say something, that's just me though.
    Me(26)DH(33)
    TTC for #1 since Jan 2010
    BFP #1 Oct 1 2010 MC Oct 3 2010
    DX PCOS w/ AO Nov 2011
    3 rounds of Clomid all BFN
    BFP #2 10/12/12 Beta #1 45.1 Beta #2 160.7 * 2/27 diagnosed with IEF in utero.
    Dalaney born @ 35w2d via emergency C-section due to Pre-E after 30 hrs of labor & losing her HB twice. She weighed 5lbs 8oz & was 19in long on May 26th 2013 @ 605am

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    "Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness."
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  • DaisyZHDaisyZH member
    Ugh, I am so sorry that she said that.  That is very hurtful (( Hugs)) to you


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  • csspencercsspencer member

    Seriously?? Some people are just so rude, and insensitive. I hope she doesn't know about your lost, because then she's not insensitive, she's a witch (with a b).

    I am so sorry.

    BFP #1 11/27/11 EDD 08/08/12 M/C 01/27/12 12 wks 2 days
    BFP #2 04/25/12 EDD 01/04/13(?) confirmed ectopic 05/16/12 6 wks 5 days 2 doses of MTX-Lost left tube on 05/25/12 Back to TTC, earlier than originally expected.
    BFP #3 01/05/13 EDD 09/17/13 u/s 1/24/13-great appt, measuring 2 days ahead, NT scan 3/11/13-great scan measuring 4 days ahead, A/S 4/29/13-another great scan can't wait to meet my baby BOY!!!!!
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