Dh is not re enlisting or extending his contract for the next year . He is done in september. I know I should be happy about this since we have 2 kids but for whatever reason I am not . I guess I felt we had one more year at least to save some more money and for the kids to be a little older before finally settling down. I feel tons of guilt because I seem to be the only one between our family and friends who feels this way. I respect DH's decision but I can't help but feel like I ve lost something. I guess Im not ready to deal with our families being so involved in our lives just yet.... It just feels so permanent . DH is thinking of going to school until a job opens up so I'm going back to work. I don't mind working ,but I have a hard time accepting that someone else will be taking care of my kids. Especially my MIL (although I am thankful that she will be doing so). I've gotten used to doing so many things on my own that the idea of relying on someone else is difficult to get used to. I guess I needed to vent and I hope to get used to the idea of being home. Thanks for anyone who was willing to read this .