Not staying in ... Then why do I feel so sad ...? — The Bump
Military Families

Not staying in ... Then why do I feel so sad ...?

Dh is not re enlisting or extending his contract for the next year . He is done in september. I know I should be happy about this since we have 2 kids but for whatever reason I am not . I guess I felt we had one more year at least to save some more money and for the kids to be a little older before finally settling down. I feel tons of guilt because I seem to be the only one between our family and friends who feels this way. I respect DH's decision but I can't help but feel like I ve lost something. I guess Im not ready to deal with our families being so involved in our lives just yet.... It just feels so permanent . DH is thinking of going to school until a job opens up so I'm going back to work. I don't mind working ,but I have a hard time accepting that someone else will be taking care of my kids. Especially my MIL (although I am thankful that she will be doing so). I've gotten used to doing so many things on my own that the idea of relying on someone else is difficult to get used to. I guess I needed to vent and I hope to get used to the idea of being home. Thanks for anyone who was willing to read this .
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Re: Not staying in ... Then why do I feel so sad ...?

  • F15WifeF15Wife member
    I'm sorry you feel this way. I would feel lost as well. We are in for the long haul but I would feel as though as I lost my security blanket. Maybe talk to your husband about your fears and see what comes of it.
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  • About a year ago we were in the same boat. I respected my husband's choice to get out, but was still sad the military chapter of our lives was going to end. My husband had a long talk with a retired member who worked with him. He laid out the long term benefits, the current state of the economy, health care cost for a family of 3, and some other long term things to think about. After that he realized the grass may not always be greener. Not saying the choice is the wrong choice in anyway, but just saying the sadness may be caused by the uncertain economy and future for your family financially and it would be an important conversation to have to really uncover his long term plans to support his family.
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  • IlumineIlumine
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its
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    Change is always hard. Moving onto something unknown is even harder. 

    But I do have to ask, is this a decision you made together? Especially the whole, going to school UNTIL a job comes waltzing along?  

    I think if your DH had a more thought out plan, other than you working and him using school as a place mark (vs part of the well thought out plan for your <plural you> future.) what happens if YOU don't get a job? Are you going to be able to go to school too?

    Look, I am not saying that he needs to stay in to care for your family and that you don't have to (I actually believe that military spouses should work throughout their lives to ensure employment viability and access to SSDI).  But I do believe that if you have a better plan, you might feel better about this.   

    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
  • image Ilumine:

    Change is always hard. Moving onto something unknown is even harder. 

    But I do have to ask, is this a decision you made together? Especially the whole, going to school UNTIL a job comes waltzing along?  

    I think if your DH had a more thought out plan, other than you working and him using school as a place mark (vs part of the well thought out plan for your <plural you> future.) what happens if YOU don't get a job? Are you going to be able to go to school too?

    Look, I am not saying that he needs to stay in to care for your family and that you don't have to (I actually believe that military spouses should work throughout their lives to ensure employment viability and access to SSDI).  But I do believe that if you have a better plan, you might feel better about this.   

    Yes
    love angel Pictures, Images and Photos Thorns and stings And those such things Just make stronger Our angel wings. ~Terri Guillemets
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