I'm almost afraid to ask...

Mrs.HAW · May 2012

Does anyone know of a bad natural childbirth experience? Like, a mom who planned to go natural, and did, but is adamant that she'll never do it again because of the pain, etc.

I just want to know if this happens.

kenna_4 · May 2012

I'm interested to hear.

I have 2 friends that got epi's with their first LO's and planned to get one with their second baby as well but ended up not having time and going natural. Both said they would do natural again.....

blush64 · May 2012

I do know of two people who feel this way somewhat. One woman had a med-free chidbirth and hated it and will be going to the hospital early because she does not want to feel that pain again. She did not have a good time. Everything went fine and mom and baby were healthy but she just doesn't want to go trhough it again.

The other woman had the first induced and had an epidural, the second with an epidural but didn't need to be induced and the third med-free. She hated it and did not choose to do it again.(for her fourth)

Everyone is different and there are women who just don't want a med-free birth. I respect that.

EDIT Also my sisters both have done it both ways. (each had one med-free experience and multiple epidural experiences) They did not like the pain and would never choose to do it that way again. They have an extremely high pain tolerance but they just don't feel they should suffer if they don't have to. Fair enough in my opinion.

stever · May 2012

I almost feel this way - almost - but not because of my son's birth but because of what came afterward.

After delivering him med-free I wouldn't stop bleeding. Turns out not all of the placenta was expelled and my OB had to go in to 'clean me up.' If I'd had an epi he would have been able to do it right then and there, but as I didn't they had to take me to the OR and put me under. I was only under for a few minutes but the anesthesia contributed to making feel totally looped for DS's first few hours Sad

FyreFlyeRush · May 2012

My mother did with my sister. She was preeclampsic and had to have magnesium sulfate and had a failed epidural. My sister got stuck and some nurse started pushing on her stomach to try to knock her loose. The OB pulled out forceps, but they weren't needed. Doctors, nurses, and peds staff everywhere. She had me naturally without issue, but my sister was a really hard birth.

janswedding · May 2012

Sure, just from reading a ton of birth stories, I've seen some moms say this about their natural births. Just like someone could love or hate their epidural birth, someone could love or hate their natural birth experience. Could be for lots of different reasons, including your expectations and attitude going in, or maybe an unusual complication or unusually extreme pain, or simply it was just your average birth but it just wasn't their cup of tea. Everyone's different.

pinksweetpea2 · May 2012

There was a woman on my BMB who got to the hospital too late to get the epi with her first- she had always planned on having one, so she had a hard time dealing with the pain and intensity of the experience. She fully planned on getting one the next time around...I am not sure what happened though. I sort of stopped visiting my BMB.

Mrs.HAW · May 2012

Thank you all so much for the responses. I was thinking that like PP said, people have bad experiences with every kind of birth, and I just hadn't heard of anyone announcing that they went med-free but wouldn't again. So I asked, and now I know It does happen!

Thanks again ladies!

honkytonk_kid · May 2012

I have some friends who are/were in this situation. But, for the most part they didn't really want to go med-free to begin with- they felt pressured to do it by others, or had a failed epi, or got to the hospital too late. I don't know anyone whose motivation to go med-free came from within themselves, had a med-free birth and then regretted it.

ridesbuttons · May 2012

I know of one husband who is staunchly against natural childbirth after witnessing his wife experience it.

lylahlove · May 2012

I've had 2 people tell me stories of being unhappy with their planned natural birth experience - one just looked back and hated the pain and went on to have 3 births with epis; one tore a lot and blamed her midwife for "letting her tear" and went on to have a planned c-section.

Having been through a natural birth, I always attest that it was the most empowering event in my life. I have no regrets and truly believe every woman can do what they were made to do.

lilyaster · May 2012

I certainly don't regret my two natural births, but I have to say I have considered going the hospital/epi route this time. With my first birth I was dead set on avoiding a c/s if I could and despite a long labor I felt like superwoman after the birth. The second birth was a different midwife, short birth but very intense and I just didn't feel the same high afterwards. It may have been my connection with the midwife, bleeding heavily afterwards after she pulled on the cord, something just prevented that elation and I didn't want that experience again. But there were so many nice things about having a home waterbirth that I didn't want to sacrifice either this time, so we're planning another with a different midwife who I love. I've discussed my issues from last time with her. And most importantly I'm giving myself permission to go to the hospital at any point if I am too uncomfortable, nervous, or anything.

anna7602 · May 2012

I loved my med-free birth, but do worry I might not have it in me to withstand it again. I really needed to be "in the zone" to deal with the contractions and I worry that if I have DD running around at home, there's no way I will be able to focus and not scream for immediate pain relief.

I feel kind of ashamed for thinking this way, but there you have it.

ateal2490 · May 2012

anna7602:
I loved my med-free birth, but do worry I might not have it in me to withstand it again. I really needed to be "in the zone" to deal with the contractions and I worry that if I have DD running around at home, there's no way I will be able to focus and not scream for immediate pain relief.

I feel kind of ashamed for thinking this way, but there you have it.

I'm sort of there as well, right now.

I loved it, it felt amazing, and I am really proud of myself.

But idk if I could do it again, if I still remember how intense it ended up getting....but I think I may bully myself into denying pain meds again simply because I've done it before.

Who knows...every birth is different.

And Anna, please don't be ashamed...you're still superwoman

RockyMtnMama · May 2012

Hmmm. I know I've read of failed epis and such, but not someone who was preparing directly for a natural childbirth, got it and considered it a traumatic/bad birth.

PansyPants · May 2012

My mom actually feels that way. I'm very proud of the fact that she went natural with me but she regrets it.

Back story!

My parents did Bradley classes back before Bradley Method was a common thing. My mom was in active labor for 36 hours with my older brother and nobody checked on her because the hospital forgot that she was there, when they finally did check on her she was only 1 cm dilated and they gave her a spinal and did an emergency c-section.

Fast forward three years.

Her doctor was actually in a program that trained midwives in the area for a local medical school and thought she was an ideal candidate for a VBAC. So she went into labor naturally at around 6am and delivered me at a little past 8pm (she wrote all of this in my baby book). She did it med-free and swears it was the worst choice she ever made. My father loved telling the story of how she tried to climb out of the hospital bed and when he told her she had to have the baby she screamed "If you want another baby so damn bad, you have it."

Edit: The doctor ended up having to use forceps to help my arrival. My moms not clear on whether she wasn't pushing hard enough or there was concern about her size, but there was a large cut on my cheek and she said that it's because the forceps were too low and they tore my skin.

I don't know if it was the size ratio of my mom to me (she is 4'11 and pre-pregnancy was 102 lbs and I was born 9lbs 10oz and 20 1/4 In) or if she just had a particularly bad labor. Either way, she swears she would never do it again and often told me that although she understood my desire to birth naturally, that she thought I was "nuts" and should just get the drugs. Edit: For the first few months of my pregnancy she actually told me to just get a doctor to schedule a c-section.

I on the other hand loved labor and birth. I'm very much looking forward to doing it again if I have another child and drew a lot of strength from the knowledge that regardless of whether or not my mom liked it, that she could birth me and I could birth my baby. Similarly, my mom's younger sister had med-free births with her three children and although she had some rough deliveries (breech with her third, 72 hours of active labor with her first), she has a very positive memory of birth and said that she'd have done it the same way if she'd had more children.

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