switching to formula/guilt

mustanglo · May 2012

Someone make me feel better about switching to formula...I don't have very much support from my side of the family and feel judged...breast feeding didn't work (even after seeing several LC's, a doctor, reading a book, etc.) so I started EPing which has been really difficult to do and to keep my supply up. I am trying not to feel guilty. I have nothing against formula whatsoever but for some reason I can't quite shake the guilt. Any encouragement would be appreciated

Teneniel · May 2012

I had almost no supply, and did everything I could for 3 weeks to try to improve it, with no results. It got to the point where I felt like I was spending no time with my baby, but an awful lot of time with my pump.

I switched, and the stress went away almost immediately. I dealt with pretty heavy guilt and sadness for about 5 weeks, but it eventually tapered off and went away.

It's so important to enjoy your baby. For me, I didn't want to look back and wish I had spent more time rocking, holding, smelling, watching her. My days before switching were a blur of helplessness, sleeplessness and stress. And my husband was doing more feeding than I was. Now, we're much more relaxed and happy. AND she's in the 75th percentile for weight. Not bad for a baby who lost more than 10% of her birth weight in the first 4 days!

My point is, you're not alone. When I was making the switch, dozens of ladies told me their similar stories. Formula isn't the devil, and your baby got your milk during the most critical time (both my pedi and my LC reiterated this to me!). You're doing great, and making the best decisions for your family.

kel716 · May 2012

(((HUGS)))

No matter what, happy mommy = happy baby. Nobody knows how hard it is to EP and deal with supply issues until they've been there.

You gave your baby 7.5 weeks of at least some breast milk. Be proud of that. Every baby is different, and some never take to BFing easily. Formula exists for a reason. Take the time to enjoy feeding your baby, and cuddling/snuggling your baby. Don't turn back. No one knows how hard you worked, and it's not their place to judge.

lulling · May 2012

I formula fed from day one. Even with a premature baby he gained weight like crazy and is healthy as a horse. What is important to realize is that for you breastfeeding was not working and pumping was not working so instead of starving your baby because you feel badly about yourself you are making the right choice and putting your own feelings aside and choosing to feed your child. That is what a good mother does. It shows that you love your baby more than you love your self-pride. Good job, mama!

eyenigh · May 2012

lulling:
I formula fed from day one. Even with a premature baby he gained weight like crazy and is healthy as a horse. What is important to realize is that for you breastfeeding was not working and pumping was not working so instead of starving your baby because you feel badly about yourself you are making the right choice and putting your own feelings aside and choosing to feed your child. That is what a good mother does. It shows that you love your baby more than you love your self-pride. Good job, mama!

This and that it's no one else's business how you feed your baby. I also exclusively formula feed--my son is incredibly healthy, no issues whatsoever insofar and is in the 99th percentile for height and weight. Knowing I have a healthy, happy baby, I'm completely secure in my choice but some people just want to make you feel bad by parroting back what they've heard about breast feeding being better. Yes, it's better in some ways than formula but it's not like it's a life aktering major difference. I swear some people make it seem like you may as well be feeding your baby beer if you're giving them formula and that's ridiculous.

jenskurn · May 2012

I pumped until wk 6 and then transitioned to formula. Pumping is so hard and takes up a lot of time. I couldn't wait to stop, but then felt guilty and sad when I did. However, over time I realized I was much happier which meant so was LO. I had more time to play and wasn't so exhausted and stressed. Making the best choice for your family is what being a good mom is and that is what you did.

greenwin · May 2012

jenskurnick:
I pumped until wk 6 and then transitioned to formula. Pumping is so hard and takes up a lot of time. I couldn't wait to stop, but then felt guilty and sad when I did. However, over time I realized I was much happier which meant so was LO. I had more time to play and wasn't so exhausted and stressed. Making the best choice for your family is what being a good mom is and that is what you did.

same! I felt very guilt after making the transition. I started giving formula at night, and then slowly during the day. After a few weeks the guilt went away, happy mommy, happy baby!

Newmoonbaby · May 2012

(long time lurker here) just wanted to give you some support - congrats for making the right decision for YOU. I started out breastfeeding and transitioned to formula at 6 weeks (she's 8 weeks now), mostly because of issues with pumping and going back to work. It's your life, your baby and your choice!

lawright · May 2012

I had a breast reduction when I was 19. They didn't make bra sizes this big back then (or at least, they didn't sell them in stores nearby), so I don't know how big I was, but I lost 3 lbs combined from both boobs (with 1/4 lb being a cup size) to bring me to a 34D. Yes, I lost an average of 6 cup sizes per breast. The surgery severed a large number of my ducts. I was producing plenty of milk - at least at first - but I couldn't get more than a few mls out, whether by breast feeding, pumping, etc. I would literally hand express a few mLs per feeding into a tiny syringe with the needle removed, and squirt it into DD's mouth. I saw Lactation consultants, physicians, read books... everything. And I still cried pretty much constantly for two weeks straight over the thing. I couldn't help but think that if I had just waited on the breast reduction, my DD would have been better off, and I felt an enormous amount of guilt over it. The fact that I was then wearing 34F bras didn't make me feel any better at all.

I can't really say what it was that ended up making me feel better. It might have been partly the realization of how beneficial the reduction actually was. It might have had a little to do with the lady who stopped and offered advice about which formula she used while I was staring dumbly at all the cans of formula in the baby aisle, and the fact that there aren't any judgmental stares when you mix a bottle of formula in public or when you have a cashier ring the formula at the register. It had a LOT to do with the sheer stress relief when I stopped hooking myself up to the hospital rental pump and hand expressing drops of formula into a syringe and instead just bf-ed a few drops of breastmilk to DD for a minute or two right before she had a bottle of formula. And, it had an enormous amount to do with the fact that DD is a perfectly normal, healthy, happy baby and the realization that it's simply NOT TRUE that BM is the end-all-cure-all of all possible ailments that could ever occur to a human being. Whenever I got sad about it, I would hug DD, and realize that I had a perfect, wonderful baby, and ultimately, that's all that matters.

Teneniel · May 2012

lawright:
I had a breast reduction when I was 19. They didn't make bra sizes this big back then (or at least, they didn't sell them in stores nearby), so I don't know how big I was, but I lost 3 lbs combined from both boobs (with 1/4 lb being a cup size) to bring me to a 34D. Yes, I lost an average of 6 cup sizes per breast. The surgery severed a large number of my ducts. I was producing plenty of milk - at least at first - but I couldn't get more than a few mls out, whether by breast feeding, pumping, etc. I would literally hand express a few mLs per feeding into a tiny syringe with the needle removed, and squirt it into DD's mouth. I saw Lactation consultants, physicians, read books... everything. And I still cried pretty much constantly for two weeks straight over the thing. I couldn't help but think that if I had just waited on the breast reduction, my DD would have been better off, and I felt an enormous amount of guilt over it. The fact that I was then wearing 34F bras didn't make me feel any better at all.
I can't really say what it was that ended up making me feel better. It might have been partly the realization of how beneficial the reduction actually was. It might have had a little to do with the lady who stopped and offered advice about which formula she used while I was staring dumbly at all the cans of formula in the baby aisle, and the fact that there aren't any judgmental stares when you mix a bottle of formula in public or when you have a cashier ring the formula at the register. It had a LOT to do with the sheer stress relief when I stopped hooking myself up to the hospital rental pump and hand expressing drops of formula into a syringe and instead just bf-ed a few drops of breastmilk to DD for a minute or two right before she had a bottle of formula. And, it had an enormous amount to do with the fact that DD is a perfectly normal, healthy, happy baby and the realization that it's simply NOT TRUE that BM is the end-all-cure-all of all possible ailments that could ever occur to a human being. Whenever I got sad about it, I would hug DD, and realize that I had a perfect, wonderful baby, and ultimately, that's all that matters.

I just wanted to pop in to say that I agree with this. Yes, there are plenty of studies correlating health to breast milk, but they also don't correct for things like socioeconomic status (wealthier moms are more likely to breastfeed). And one anecdotal story:

In my husband's family, his mother only breastfed one of her children, his youngest sister. She developed type 1 diabetes, and is the only child in the family with chronic health problems. Yes, it's only one story, but breastmilk didn't prevent that!

Baby Lynn · May 2012

I know how you feel. I switched to formula because of supply issues and I cried. Literally called SO (he was working) and started balling on the phone about how I couldn't supply the one thing for him that only I could do. Ya it was pretty pathetic. But I truly loved BF and just couldn't. So I tried EP and I just couldn't do it. We went travelling which threw me off. So I switched to formula. I'm now okay with it. I did it for as long as I could. I tried to provide it for him as long as I could. And you have to remember that. You tried and that's all that matters. And I won't lie I now love how easy it is to just go out and about with formula instead of breastfeeding.

lorina · May 2012

I had the idea in my head that we were going to go at least six months and only made it to three. I stopped EPing due to supply issues too and I felt like it was my fault that I wasn't taking good enough care to keep it up. Then I realized how worse off my LO would be if I couldn't provide her health insurance or my paycheck. I told my self that I gave her what I could of my body, and now Mommie has to go back to work. After reading more, and talking to relatives, it occured to me that the lack of supply probably had little to do with what I was doing. So don't blame yourself for doing the best you can with what you've got. I've been there, and it ain't fun! You are not alone hon

.

LauraSmarterSpam · May 2012

I'm EPing, and supplementing with formula. It is a lot of work and Dom is able to handle formula when it is mixed 50/50 with breast milk. He got so use to having breast milk in a bottle from being in the NICU his first month, so I really only pump. I actually nursed for a few weeks but he would fall asleep too quickly because it took up so much of his energy. I only felt bad giving him formula because he couldn't handle it.

It caused him to have projectile vomit and it would hurt him. We slowly added formula to the milk and now he can have the 50/50. If he could handle the formula all together, I would switch. Pumping does take up soooo much time, but as long as he is healthy then I'm happy.

Do what is best for you and your little one. I wouldn't feel guilty if I were you.

Want a personalized experience?

switching to formula/guilt

Re: switching to formula/guilt

Choose Another Board

Search Boards