Tattoo comment got me thinking ...

HisChamaoleGirl · May 2012

If you had your bio children's names tattooed on your body would you tattoo step children's names as well? Why, or why not?

karatechrissy · May 2012

BM's now ex-H got SS's name on him. They had no children together. Now they are divorced as of a couple weeks ago, and where does tha leave him? I don't care for tattoo's myself, and I'd never get one, but I know they are important to a lot of people. I think it's a very personal decision to make. My H wasn't happy when ex-SD did it, but I guess the anger was all in vain bc he has a child's name on his body that he will never be involved with ever again. :-/

socloudy99 · May 2012

I like tattoos but I am not big on getting peoples names on me.

BM#1 has her ex (that was then and it still married to another woman) in the "tramp stamp" spot. She has the last ex on one of her ring fingers. I wonder how the current bf feels looking at that.

But that was way off topic...

If I got my bio childrens names on me I would also get the SKs. It would feel weird to me if I didn't. Even my teen SD that dances all over my nerves lately! The only exception is if God forbid one of them passed. Then I would have no issue with an in memory tattoo for only one child.

socloudy99 · May 2012

I guess this would depend on the order they came into your life.

I haven't had bio children yet so my SKs were already in my life for 8 years before them. That is why I would get both. If I already had a bio child before that would be different. I wouldn't feel I had to add them.

Rhenna · May 2012

I have never asked FI to do it and was kind of shocked when he said he wanted to. When he talks about the new baby coming he talks about where to get the name. He already has his son's name on his arm and he said that he wants to get our new child on his other arm and is now trying to think of a good place to get DS's name since he only has two arms lol. He has 100% taken DS into his heart and life and doesn't really think of him as any less than another son so it is somewhat of a natural thought process for him to think of getting his name as well. I don't see us ever in a million years splitting up but if we did, he would still love DS with all of his heart. Even if he stopped loving me it doesn't work that way with the kids and he would never regret having DS remembered on his body.

wwnbw · May 2012

socloudy99:

I like tattoos but I am not big on getting peoples names on me.

BM#1 has her ex (that was then and it still married to another woman) in the "tramp stamp" spot. She has the last ex on one of her ring fingers. I wonder how the current bf feels looking at that.

But that was way off topic...

If I got my bio childrens names on me I would also get the SKs. It would feel weird to me if I didn't. Even my teen SD that dances all over my nerves lately! The only exception is if God forbid one of them passed. Then I would have no issue with an in memory tattoo for only one child.

Me too Embarrassed I got it when I was 18 and then I married him a month after. To make it better it 11 letters long so it's flipping huge. It is the dumbest thing I have EVER done. But at least unlike your BM I learned my lesson the first time.

I wouldn't get mySK's names because there is always the chance of divorce but I wouldn't get my own childs name either (maybe if I didn't have that awful one on my back I would).

fellesferie · May 2012

Neither I nor DH have any tattoos.

But here's my take on the OP's question--

If someone has had their biokids names for a long time, I don't think there's any reason to run out and add stepkiddos.

But if I were going to run out and get a tattoo tomorrow, it would be all of the kids or none of the kids. And since stepkids can leave your life the same as a spouse, I wouldn't get any of the kids.

And to be totally honest, my kids have already marked my body (hello, stretchmarks) and they're not getting another piece of it.

Rhenna · May 2012

I think it all depends on how you feel about tattoos. Obviously if you don't like them nor have any you wouldn't. And some people in general just don't like name tattoos. I don't. I choose tattoos that I think are artistic and I don't have any names on me. FI loves name tattoos but he loves anything that he can look at and be reminded of his children. He is gone a lot being in the army and he doesn't always have access to phones, internet, pictures etc. So he really enjoys having the names on him, he sees it as his way of carrying them with him when he is gone. And he wants to make each one special and unique to that child. I think there are so many things that go into it and it really is going to be different for everyone.

Kaeldrasmommy · May 2012

I intend to tattoo Kaeldra's handprint on my chest where she likes to lay it while she is nursing. But since both DH and BM have tattoos for the older kids I would feel very awkward having tattoos for them myself.

BagelGirl · May 2012

wendilea:

I had a friend who had his ex-wife's name on his leg. When he got remarried, he had a new tattoo put there - they covered the name completely with the tattoo of a large lizard looking thing. Of course, now it looks like he has a lizard sniffing his balls...

OMG, this is tooooo funny and makes a good case for no tatt's.

I don't have any bio's yet but cannot imagine getting SK's names tattoo'd.

Littlejen22 · May 2012

Rhenna:
I have never asked FI to do it and was kind of shocked when he said he wanted to. When he talks about the new baby coming he talks about where to get the name. He already has his son's name on his arm and he said that he wants to get our new child on his other arm and is now trying to think of a good place to get DS's name since he only has two arms lol. He has 100% taken DS into his heart and life and doesn't really think of him as any less than another son so it is somewhat of a natural thought process for him to think of getting his name as well. I don't see us ever in a million years splitting up but if we did, he would still love DS with all of his heart. Even if he stopped loving me it doesn't work that way with the kids and he would never regret having DS remembered on his body.

The reality is that unless he adopts your son, if the two of you split then he would likely not see SS so saying that he would always love his is great but few people normally keep a relationship going with the step-kids and every thinks their situation would be better.

I think situations like J&A or if the child gets adopted and are not really a SK are exceptions with regular situations and with divorce rates especially in BF I think it is stupid.

karatechrissy · May 2012

MelRC117:
fellesferie:

And to be totally honest, my kids have already marked my body (hello, stretchmarks) and they're not getting another piece of it.

Good point LOL

SERIOUSLY!! Lol. As I have lost weight the stretch marks are much smaller, but they will always be there! Ugh! Lol

CFjo2010 · May 2012

I had a phoenix tattooed on my ribcage about 5 years ago. It has 3 tail feathers (one for my son, one for my daugher, and one for a prior miscarriage). After this baby is born I plan on adding 2 more feathers for the baby and K. K knows the meaning behind my tattoo and I feel like leaving her out of it will make her feel as though she's not as important. However, I have known K since she was born and have been in her life consistently for the last 4 years, so my relationship with her is obviously different than some Skids. Even if God forbid my husband and I were to ever get divorced, this new baby keeps us tied to each other and in turn tied to K. As far as I'm concerned, even though I didn't give birth to her she's still very much part of my family and one of my children.

MyaMaternity · May 2012

My best friend's husband went and got tattoos of their three kids on his arm. When he got home she was mad he left out the SS and made him go back and add it. Was a pretty heated argument. I'm not a fan of tattoos but I can see where it would be kinda bad for the children who get left out.

bebe11 · May 2012

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
If you had your bio children's names tattooed on your body would you tattoo step children's names as well? Why, or why not?

My short answer is NO.

My husband has his son's initials tattooed on him, but never got one with his DD's name. I think if you get one bio kids tattoo, you should get all your bio kids tattoed on you. So my H is a slacker.

karen1031 · May 2012

I have a tattoo for each of my kids, bio and SD. It's just a cluster of stars with their first initial in each star. But I couldn't imagine getting a tattoo for each of my kids and leaving out SD. We spend so much time making sure everyone feels equal and loved, I felt that leaving her out would have been a huge step backwards for our family and how far we've come. I spoke with my DH before doing it to see how he felt about it and luckily we were on the same page.

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