meeting other moms i actually like?

springbreak3003 · May 2012

i have been meeting a lot of nice moms and we get together several times a week, but i'm just not excited about them as friends. there's nothing wrong with their personalities...these ladies are smart, sweet and very caring mothers. i WANT to like them.

however, i have a very active work/social life outside of the mom-world, and no one from my old life has kids yet. i'm left talking to moms who i have little in common with. in fact, i feel like have a double-life sometimes.

i'm very open-minded and am trying sooo hard to enjoy their company, but i am so bored with these other moms. i am tired of acting fake, but oh well.

i continue to meet with them, though, so my baby can have playdates.

but, aaggggghhhhh!!!

i still hang out with my old friends, and there's lots of ways family life is compatible with my old life (we go for walks, have cookouts, etc) . im not lonely,and i actually feel very lucky.

but still...it would be nice to meet a least a few other mom-friends i click with!!!

anyone else have this problem?

i think it will just take time.

aliciaroset · May 2012

are there any parenting related things that you really care about? that's a good way to meet people you have more in common with. I love baby wearing so I meed once a month with my local baby wearing group and that has led to some friendships.

DarthNBJenni · May 2012

I work full time and none of my pre-baby friends have kids. The moms I met when the girls were younger are all SAHM and have formed their own play groups, etc. Which means that we really don't socialize all that much when I'm at work during the school year (teacher). I've signed the girls up for dance and we'll do the free library story hours during the summer. Honestly? I want my friends to be my friends, and the girls can have their own - I don't have to be friends with their moms.

Fianschneid · May 2012

I'm totally with you on this. I'm the first of my friends to have a baby.

I try talking to the other moms at day care but haven't really established relationships. When I go to the park with DD, I'm friendly with other parents but it would be pretty creepy to ask for their numbers for a get together.

Next month, DD is starting a wiggle worms music class. I hope I can make some connections there. The music school is right next to Starbucks so I'm thinking it will be less weird to invite people to grab a cup of coffee after class, right?

jupiterthecat · May 2012

I'm totally with you on this. A few of my friends have babies, but they're all in different cities. I moved to a new city about a year before having my baby, and we didn't know anyone coming in and have had a lot of trouble meeting new people. I'd love to meet other moms and dads, so we'd at least have that in common, but all of the meet-ups/ baby and me type activities in the area are geared toward SAHMs, and they always meet during the work week. I'm really stumped for ideas on how to meet people, but I'd also love to hear ideas. We're going to try to get into a Saturday gym and swim class soon...maybe that will lead to friendships.

superchixor · May 2012

We do library story time and I was hoping to meet some mommy friends and I have met 1 girl with a daughter a month older than mine, though it's very casual "how's your week been?" type stuff for just a few minutes. She seems really nice and I'm hoping to form a friendship/baby play time out of it. I am a very outspoken homebody and I tend to clash with certain people but I can make friends with anyone. It is hard to meet friends. We haven't done the park thing yet.. Maybe soon.

gracefulruby33 · May 2012

I thought this article was perfect for this discussion.

https://www.boston.com/community/moms/blogs/24_hour_workday/2012/04/making-friends-as-an-adult.html

It's hard making new friends as you get older, especially if you aren't working.

Danielleee · May 2012

Getting to know people takes time and friendships take time to establish. I know I didn't become tight with my oldest friends instantaneously, and the same is true for new friends. What bonds people are shared experiences, not necessarily having shared interests or things in common situationally. If you like these women on the surface and you can't find anything in particular wrong with them, then keep hanging out with them and perhaps over the course of a few months or years, you will have a new friend or two.

brewcitybride · May 2012

Sometimes it's hard for a mother to truly be herself when she is with her kids. We tend to take on a different persona. Perhaps you could try going out with a new mom friend alone, and she will let down her guard, and then when you are with her with your kids and she is with your kids, she will be that person you are getting to know, and not just another mom you have nothing in common with.

JenWhite123 · May 2012

Come be my friend!!! I was 29 when I got married, 37 when DD was born, have a master's degree and had a great career before I decided to SAH. I was and still am very independent, and LOVE to do things on my own without DH (we are not connected at the hip). I have a variety of MY OWN interests, investing, gardening, working out, that don't include DH or my LO.

All of the SAH Mom's in my area when straight from HS or College to marriage and just don't have the same world view that I do. They are not independent and don't seem to have an identity that is independent of their DH or LO. I just don't "click" with these women, even though they are all very nice women and great mothers.

Want a personalized experience?

meeting other moms i actually like?

Re: meeting other moms i actually like?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards