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res932
member
CS Concerns...sigh
res932
member
My husband has been divorced for 5 years and has a 9 year old son. We have been having a problem recently because his ex wife had their son enrolled in a school district that she didn't live in (had been using her parents address). We live in the school district so the school said that if we can prove we share joint custody then it would be ok (we do share). The problem is that they have to get their custody agreement amended to specifically state that they share custody 50/50. I am concerned that if we do this then we are going to end up having to pay her more in child support. I am a stay at home mom to our 7 month old son and I worry if we have to pay more then I am going to have to go back to work. This has been eating me up and I'm not sure what to do. Does anyone have any advice on this?
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Re: CS Concerns...sigh
I'm confused.
What is CS based on at the moment?
If it goes to 50 / 50 would it not be more likely to go down?
They only way CS will change is if BM request a re calc. Is she likely to do that?
More to the point is she due one?
I'm sorry that this is stressing you out.
And I kind of hate to say it, but I think you should prepare for the worst outcome. Not having a court order, and not having child support filed creates a pretty tenuous situation. I've heard of situations like this in which a custodial parent files a child support claim, and then none of what the noncustodial parent paid counts because it didn't go through the right channels. The previous payments were then considered a gift and the NCP is then thousands of dollars in arrears.
If it were me, I think I would want to just bite the bullet and file something yourselves. You have documented 50/50 custody, and so the number might not be as bad as you think (unless there's a huge disparity in income). If you do it that way, you get to proceed on your own terms and not get blindsided if BM decides she wants to do something.
She has accepted less that she was entitled to for support. That means your SS was receiving less from his father than the courts would consider fair considering there is a 50/50 split of custody. IF he has to pay what he is supposed to pay it might affect you. TO be honest, I wonder why he wouldn't want to pay what he is supposed to pay. She hasn't even requested it yet and might not. Is she a stay at home mom or is she forced to work to support her son?
It's hard but if she hasn't requested it, try not to think about it. IT hasn't happened yet. If it does and if it affects your ability to stay home you will get by. It's hard to work while your kids are at home but for many of us that's what we have to do. EDIT If she has been fine with things so far maybe she won't see a reason to change things now.
Sorry, I read this over and it didn't sound the way I wanted it to. Bottom line, if things do change you will be fine and get by BUT don't stress now. Being a working mother is hard but possible, if it ever came to that. I did want to point out, however, that it's money for SS not BM, so giving less gives him less.
my DH has 50/50 with BM for their 2DD. He has to pay the same amount of CS whether she has them every day or no days because she's the "custodial" parent on paper even though we have them half the time. I guess it depends on the state or county where you live because no matter how much or how little she has them, she gets half his pay. period. dot. the end.
and they also adv us that if he loses a job or gets pay cut, he is STILL obligated to pay his FULL child support obligation and we could eventually go back to court 2 years after the divorce decree was signed. Thankfully that hasn't happened, but coming up on the 2 year mark we are taking BM back to court to get FULL custody ourselves of the DDs because the whole situation is ridiculous!