Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
nirern626
member
Re: What is the best parenting decision you've made?
Not being afraid to have things in the crib with LO.
Shes slept through the night since 8wks, and has always loved something soft up against her face. (lovie, soft toy, blanket ect) I realize this won't work for everyone, and it's not a cure all for sleep issues, but I believe we had less issues because she was comfortable.
I'll throw in another one- GO WITH THE FLOW.
If something's not working for you (her), try something else! Don't be ashamed if things don't turn out how you imagined. Go with what works for YOU.
Big sister meeting little brother for the first time-
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this was my gut reaction to the question too. For us the 3 biggies have been Breastfeeding, sleep training, and baby led weaning.
Hands down... babywearing! LOL... I learned to wrap early and it has changed my outlook on parenthood. I can do so much now and it has made our lives more manageable. I seriously can do everything that I did before and not limited to a stroller. Also, BFing... I think that has made me super lazy... LOL
I also learned quick that don't worry about what others think. Do what is best for your family and you do not need to defend your decisions.
Proud Cloth Diapering, Babywearing Mommy to Desmond (5.30.2011) and Evangeline (2.26.2014)
Loving wife, best friend and teammate to Babywearing Daddy, Kelly (7.27.2000)
Volunteer Babywearing Educator at Babywearing International of South Central Pennsylvania
Besides breastfeeding, for me it was putting him to sleep in his crib from early on. He only slept in the bassinet for a couple weeks and then I moved him to his crib. It was one less thing we had to worry about transitioning him with. Of course, I realize a lot of people will say the best decision they made was to cosleep or room share so I feel like this isn't that helpful of a hint.
ETA: I want to agree with Remmie! It really only took me a couple days to realize daycare was cool.
In general, doing what's best for our family and not worrying about what I'm "supposed to do", etc.
Specifically, allowing Callie to sleep on her belly early on. I was scared by all the SIDS warnings, but it was the only way she would sleep without sleeping on my chest. I wasn't getting any sleep. Letting her sleep on her stomach was something I'm so glad I ended up doing.
And BFing - not only for the health benefits...but the huge cost savings.
GAH! All of the above?!? Those are all such great responses.
For me, the biggest one is not freaking out about/over every little thing. It's good to do your research FROM REPUTABLE SOURCES, not from Google. But even then, some stuff is just NBD and should be approached that way. For example, chewing on an unplugged cord. Who cares? It's not like they have rat's teeth and can chew through to the wires and it's not plugged in anyhow so NBD IMO.
There have been a few great decisions we've made, that work for us. They may not work for everyone.
the biggest is probably putting him in his crib to sleep a few days after we got home.
Next is the decision to continue pumping after I realized he was much happier on the bottle than the breast.
1. Breastfeeding - hands down. It's been an amazing experience and although my original goal was 1 year, I now have no plans to stop until DD self-weans.
2. Leaving my job to temporarily become a SAHM. I was in a position where I was not allowed to reduce my hours from full-time to part-time and I was extremely unhappy with the idea of putting DD into daycare FT. We sold our home and live on a budget now in order to live more comfortably on one income. We've made sacrifices, but I would gladly repeat my choice if I had it to do over again. I do plan to work 1-2 days a week per diem in the future, but I'm so thankful for this time now that I have with DD at home. (NOTHING against anyone who uses daycare full-time; I just personally wasn't at peace with the idea).
DH: 34/Me: 35
Married: Feb 2008
DD: June 2011
TTC# 2: April 2014
BFP!! 8/29/16 --> EDD: 5/11/17....it's a GIRL!!!
okay...with my nearly one year of parenting expertise here are my best decisions! lol My friend is due in a few weeks and this is what I tell her:
-try and find a support group or some kind...for me this board has been a lifesaver. I don't have many IRL friends with kids and having the advice and more importantly support from other moms who are going through the same stuff has been EXTREMELY helpful to me. So if she has an online group or real-life group, whatever works best, she will probably feel much less alone.
- Breastfeeding was great for me as well...challenging in the first couple of months but definitely worth the struggles. That being said, I think it's also a good decision to stop BFing if it's just making you miserable.
- Asking for help when I was an emotional mess from the hormones...too many women are afraid to admit their feeling overwhelmed, terrified, exhausted, etc...especially in those first weeks. If you know you're feeling more than the just the baby blues, get help sooner rather than later...it's not fair to you or baby to suffer in silence.
- Let go. I wish I had been better at this one...I think the media these days is really putting far too much pressure on new moms...believe in yourself and your maternal instincts...they are far more valuable that what most resources have to say.
Yep. I was going to say "giving my child the gift of sleep"
ETA: And not doing purees. A didn't take to them. Finger foods is so much easier!
I think the biggest is realizing that there is no one answer to anything. And that regardless of how other Mom's appear or present themselves, no one is a baby expert. Doing what is right for my family, not what others think I should do, and not being afraid to admit it didn't work and trying something new!
And Breastfeeding. In the beginning it was so painful and tough that I was planning on giving it up when I went back to work when Ash was 2 months. But I stuck with it, and one day it just got easier and I started to enjoy it. I ended up BFing until 9 months when, sadly, Ash decided he didn't want to anymore. I miss the bonding and cuddle time, and Ash still does some of the things he used to do while breastfeeding, like rubbing my arm and exploring my face with his hand, even though he doesn't BF anymore.
June Bugs Blog
BFP #2: 7/23/14 - MC: 8/28/14
BFP #3: 2/22/15 - MC: 3/3/15
BFP #4: 5/20/15 - Stick baby stick!!!
BFP #2: 7/23/14 - MC: 8/28/14
BFP #3: 2/22/15 - MC: 3/3/15
BFP #4: 5/20/15 - Stick baby stick!!!
I love this post.
My big ones...
1 - Breastfeeding. And sticking with it. We are now weaned completely (as of last week) and I miss it SO MUCH. I had a really hard time the first 8-9 weeks and almost quit but stuck with it and I'm so happy I did.
2 - Having the baby in our room the first 6 months. I loved that time - I loved looking over and seeing her sleeping. I loved pulling her into bed in the early hours and snuggling. We made the decision to move her into the crib and sleep train all at once - it took one night of hell and we've never looked back. She actually won't sleep in our bed anymore (i've tried during naps!) and I love those memories.
3 - Going to work part-time. My job has been incredible with working with my schedule - I now work Wednesdays, Thursdays and Friday mornings - allowing me plenty of time with my sweets.
4 - Traveling with the babe. We've been to Florida SIX times in her little life (my husband's family lives in Fort Lauderdale) and I don't regret it for a second (even when her schedule becomes disrupted for a couple of days).
5 - Figuring out her nap schedule - she naps so much better nowadys! Twice a day, 3 hours after she last wakes up.
Sleep training. Best thing ever for us. I have zero regrets about it and will do it again in a heartbeat when we have #2.
BFP#1: 01/10, M/C 6w
BFP#2: 06/10, M/C 5w
BFP#3: 09/10, DS born June 1, 2011
BFP#4: 07/12, M/C 5w3d
BFP#5: 12/12, EDD 08/18/13
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BFing is definitely one. I love the bond we have because of it.
Also, co-sleeping because it works for my family. I love waking up to my sweet little girl every morning too. Some nights it is rough but waking up to her smiling and giving me a kiss is totally worth it IMO.
And, joining a Mom's Group. We love having playdates every week (sometimes 2 or 3) and getting to do so many different activities with other kids/moms.
If I had to choose just one, I would say BLW. E is an excellent eater and she has really advanced fine motor skills for her age. I attribute both of those successes to BLW.
Trusting my gut, BFing, and sleep training (although I came to that realization much later than most) also rank up there really high.
Giving breast milk and not giving up. He never learned to latch despite weekly visits with lactation consultants until he was 11wks old.
I still pump 4-5 times a day and will continue to until he is taking "real" food better and taking less milk.
I hope he stops gagging on textures soon and starts eating more, because I am sick of pumping!
The question is, what is the best decision YOU made. BFing was the best decision I made for myself and my daughter, it has been a great experience. I'm not implying that it is the best choice for everyone.
My initial reaction was BFing. I can't really think of another true "decision" I made. We just kind of take things as they come. I'm loving how he's turning out, so far, so I guess I'll count that. I honestly think C is just an innately "easy" baby. I don't think I could have screwed him up, lol
Under the circumstances we ended up co-sleeping and it was something I never thought we would do. But I loved it and I wouldn't change it. I definitely don't want to do it with #2 but if we had to I know it would still be worth it.
Yeah we decided to because it was the only way I could get sleep. My DH works out of town so it was just me doing all the child care 24/7 and with her sleeping with me, we both got sleep. Now I am just so used to it. But if we have a second baby I will probably have them in their own crib to begin with. We shall see though!!
100% this for me too.
The best decision I made was visiting a lactation consultant at 3 wks. DS wouldn't latch after being spoiled with bottles in the nursery for a few days, and every attempt at BFing led to both of us sobbing. I EP'd for 3 weeks and Ithought at that point it was too late to learn to BF.
One session with a lactation consultant made all the difference. (Other things that helped: My Brest Friend nursing pillow, Breastflow bottles, and a nipple shield that I only had to use once or twice) I am still BFing, though supplementing quite a bit at this point.
I agree with all the other mama's. Breast feeding was definitely the most rewarding decision I made as a mother. Some other favorites are, our decision to co sleep, cloth diaper, baby wear and to not vaccinate.
This would be #1 for me. I always planned to BF and suffered through 2 months of misery and daily trips to every lactation consultant I could find and it just didn't work. I did not want to give up but am glad DH (who was very supportive and pro-BF) let me know it was ok to quit. It's not at all what I planned and I will try to BF my next LO but it completely tore me apart physically, emotionally and (never thought I would say this) quitting BF was the best thing for my sanity, my relationship with my daughter and my relationship with my husband.
Other top ones would be putting DD to sleep in her crib from night 1, sleep training, getting out of the house on walks and to spend time with other moms, and letting LO learn to explore on their own and entertain themselves (balanced with good interaction).
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2 things:
I will let the dishes stay dirty, the clothes go unfolded and the dinner unmade any moment of the week - I read to her and actively play on the floor with DD, or take her outside to enjoy fresh air. That's what she'll treasure and I'll remember, not whether I had a clean house all the time. My time with her is too precious not to spend it with her.
She has been on a strictly organic diet since Day 1. From BM to organic formula to all organic cereals and solids. This is the one thing that my mom said she would have done differently if she had her kids to raise again, so I took it to heart.
Ha ha, my first response was bed sharing! Whatever works for you
I would say BFing, if I had to pick one thing. Nursing led to the other decisions I'm happy with- bed sharing, taking an extended maternity leave, BLW, etc. Above all, I think going with your instinct and remembering that you are the expert on your baby are the best pieces of advice I would give.