So it's the middle of the night and I don't know where else to turn right now. Maybe you ladies can help me. I have 5 month old twin girls. They are our first babies and I love them to death. I SAH with them and most of the time I really really enjoy it. I seem to go through these phases though. Seems like I am in one right now. I know a part of all this is stress, but I can't help but feel like it may be something more then just stress and being sleep deprived at times. My girls are really good babies and have been super easy with everything so far. We are really lucky that we have not had any real issues with them. Of course they do have their moments where they will be very unhappy and will scream for what seems like no reason at all. Well tonight was one of those nights. They usually eat around 9 pm every night, but tonight I was so tired I fell asleep and woke up around midnight when they did. I fed them, and Hailee went right back to sleep. Emma did not and for about half an hour just screamed. When DH got up I had to hand her to him because I felt like I was going to just snap. Not snap and hurt her, but snap and have a complete meltdown. Just want to make that clear. This is not the first time this has happened. I am sure this happens to most moms at some point. The hard part for me during those times is that I feel like I just want to walk away and not be a mom. I know that sounds horrible and I feel horrible for even thinking that. I love my girls and they are all I have ever wanted. The other part of this is the anxiety. About 2 months ago I started feeling really off. I felt like I was always out of breath, my chest hurt, and I would get dizzy among other things. I went to urgent care twice and was sent to the ER to check for blood clots. Medically I am fine. The ER doctor pretty much told me that it is in my head and I need to adjust to my new life as a mom and sent me home. After that I tried to convince myself that I was fine and I have been feeling pretty good, but then in the last week the chest pains have started to come back and so has the shortness of breath. When those things happen I feel like my anxiety level goes even higher because I wonder if there is something wrong with me and then all the "what if's" start to run through my head and I make myself nuts thinking about what could happen. I was never, ever like this before having my girls. I had a struggle with depression when I was younger when my parents split up so I am familiar with the feelings of depression. This just seems like some depression and some bad anxiety, probably some stress and not being able to sleep all the time. Right now I just feel lost and confused about how I feel and what to do. DH really does not understand. He seems to think that I am just tired. I just cannot help but feel there is something else wrong with me. I go see my primary Dr. in a couple weeks for a follow up to some tests I had a little while ago. I was going to bring up the possibility of some anxiety/depression. Is it worth it at this point??