- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
June 2012 Moms
Brandyjean30
member
Frustrated with other peoples opinions...
Brandyjean30
member
So I haven't decided yet if I'm for sure getting an epidural or not. I feel that as a FTM its ridiculous for me to say absolutely yes or absolutely no because I haven't experienced the pain yet. I have even talked to my MW and we have agreed jokingly that my birth plan is winging it!
What I really want is to be able to move around as long as I can before getting the epidural. If that means I make it clear through then awesome. If that means I make it to 4 cm and tap out then that is fine too.
Well I have avoided discussing this with anyone but my mom and DH clear up until this point and now everyone wants to know and EVERYONE has an opinion. A friend from work has told me that I'm strong and wont need the epidural (which is incredibly sweet of her). But at work if someone asks my plan she chimies in before I can even answer and says "she's doing it naturally". That irritates the crap out of me!
Then theres MIL and SIL. They asked what my plan was and I told them and they both went on about how stupid that was and I should just call ahead to make sure the anesthesiologist is waiting in the room with the needle when I get there. MIL has even gone so far as to talk to DH about it alone to get him to "talk sense into me". Thank god he respects me enough that he told her it was my body and my decision and he was just there to tell me I was going to be ok and hold my hand.
I don't know how I'm going to take 3 more weeks of everyones nonsense lol
Anyone else have something they care to b!tch about?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Frustrated with other peoples opinions...
I feel your pain.
We've stopped talking with people about the birth and child rearing preferences. We know what we want and although we are open to change as required at the very least know that this is our starting place. Everyone we talked to about *anything* had an opinion and it was driving us bonkers.
My SIL 'get the drugs as soon as you can', a friend that just had a baby 'be careful - they try and force breastfeeding on you' - umm - was planning on BFing anyways - but sure didn't mention that to this girl as it was clear how she felt about it. My mother laughs at us when we mention we are planning on CDing. Even our choice in glass bottles (if needed) is being ridiculed. So now - just not interested.
When someone brings anything up we have gotten to be pretty evasive and typically just say 'not sure - we have some ideas but we will just see how things go, and go from there.'
Hate to break the news...but it doesn't go away after you have the baby. Then you will start getting "nonsense" about how you are parenting your child.
Goodbye little angel(7/22/2011)....see you in heaven
Goodbye my second angel (9/18/2011)
I'm sorry you are going through that. It stinks. My family is very opinionated and when I announced last time that I was preparing for a natural child birth, they all had opinions. My MIL even kept refering to "when you have your c-section" last time. Mind you I had no risk factors or indicators that I would need a c-section, so this was incredibly frusterating. If it was neccessary and best for the baby, I would not object, but to just assume that I was going to get one...really?
I think PregNerd is right. Just start being vague. (PregNerd-By the way, I LOVED my Evenflo glass bottles the best and plan on using them again.) Or you can just start coming up with the most outrageous scenario you can think of (i.e. I am planning to give birth at the local wildlife preserve in their outdoor sanctuary so I can be one with nature). Eventually they will get the point that you don't need their advice/opinion.
For what it's worth, I think you are going in with the PERFECT mind set. I wanted to try a natural birth, but if it got to be too much, I wasn't going to beat myself up if I opted for an epidural. In the end, things went quickly and by the time it really hurt, it was time to push. Prepare yourself for multiple scenarios and give yourself the right to make calls as you go. You are going to do great!
I have just started saying "oh I don't know yet" about everything. It is much easier to have both families think we are unprepared than to have to listen to their opinions. We won't even tell them the name we have picked! "Oh we will just pick one when we see her"!
TTC #1 since 5/10
BFP #1 7/22/11 - EDD 4/2/11 - M/C 8/15/11 (7w0d)
BFP #2 9/23/11 - EDD 6/5/12 ♥It's a Girl♥
BFP #3 2/20/13 - EDD 11/2/13 ♥It's a Girl♥
Man, what a bummer. It's amazing how many people want to put their 2 cents in any chance they get. I feel your pain. I'm a FTM as well and I plan to go natural, mostly because I feel like our bodies are meant to do this and the thought of not feeling my lower body freaks me out. But I have no negative feelings toward what anyone else chooses to do - lots of people do home births, which isn't my thing, but that's great if it's what's best for them, ya know?
I get so frustrated every time my SIL asks me if I'm "still planning to go natural?". I love her and think she's a great mom of 2, but she asks me every single time I see her and is shocked every time I tell her "yes." She has no pain tolerance and happened to hear a "screamer" in the room next to hers during her first delivery - so now she associates all natural births with sounds of bloody murder. She just doesn't seem to get it that I'm not worried about it and won't let it go that she thinks I'm crazy for not wanting any drugs. At least my MIL gave birth to all 4 of her kids naturally, so I don't get any grief from her or my mom (who had both my brother and I naturally as well). I'm so glad DH is supportive of my decision- just wish others would learn to do the same.
People will ALWAYS feel the need to voice their opinion.
I just don't voice my wishes unless I'm asked. Even then, I stand up for myself. I will get rude if people don't respect me. It's my body & my baby...& no one else's. However I want to do it is my prerogative.
Elonah [3], Bentley [1]
People are ridiculous. Why does anyone care what pain management methods, if any you use while in L&D? They won't be there so what's it to them? Sorry you are dealing with that.
I am planning a VBAC and I am SO SICK of people telling me I should just schedule my c/s b/c it's so much 'easier' the 2nd time around. I seriously want to punch someone every time they ask when my RCS is, b/c they assume since i had one with DS I am having another. My MW/OB have not breathed a WORD about scheduling an RCS at this point. I am even starting to dilate which never happened with DS. Why does anyone care how MY BABY exits MY BODY? ok /vent.