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September 2012 Moms
black.kat
member
Im late to the party... cats, issues and re-homing...
black.kat
member
I have been MIA from the bump lately... and I just did some catching up... and I saw the post about where blindvictory asked for help about her cats...
People have a problem with other people re-homing their pets? I can see why in theory, but I had to re-home my two cats because of some issues like blindvictory had, among others. It was the best decision for my cats and my household! My cats had a great life living with my H and I but things changed in our lives (weird I know) and the cats changed as they got older (weird I know) so re-homing them was the best decision for everyone involved. They are very happy in their new homes and we are happy they are not in ours anymore - not to sound mean - but it is the truth, no one was happy!!
I just find it interesting how it seems that people think that one should never get rid of their cats/pets, even if it is in the best interest of the cats/pets and the people, because why? You should be shamed into keeping an animal??? That living in a crappy situation or a difficult one is better than being a caring owner to find a better, more suitable home?
Just my 2 cents!!!
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Re: Im late to the party... cats, issues and re-homing...
This is going to turn into a firey post, I can already see that.
But the general idea is that when you get an animal, it is a lifetime commitment. Regardless of problems that you may have while they are in your home, the pets rely on you and are attached to you. Re-homing them is traumatic for them, whether or not you ever know it.
IMO, when you adopt an animal, it is for life. It's a commitment. It's not always easy, and sometimes it downright sucks. I think that giving an animal away, when it gets hard, is just a cop-out. And when we have kids, I don't want them to learn the lesson that when something gets tough or isn't perfect, we give it to someone else to deal with.
Also, I've seen the impact re-homing can have on animals, and it's not always pretty. But nobody wants to tell the original owner, "yeah, your dog has gone neurotic and sits at the door waiting for you to come home all day now," because usually it's a family member or friend taking and they don't want to make you feel like crap.
I have two cats and a dog and they drive me freaking bonkers sometimes. But they're mine, they're a part of our family, and that's that. End of discussion.
two years!
after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
Brie Fit Blog | BFP Chart
In situations like this I completely agree. If you get a pet for your child who doesn't want anything to do with it and now you need to get rid of it...I have a problem with that. My dog is a rescue and I got her from someone who rescued her from a shelter and her job position changed. She was now working 16 hour days and could no longer take care of the dog. I moved out of my house and was looking for a dog. 6 years later it's a win win for all parties involved. Why should my dog have stayed in a crate all day because the other woman made a commitment that a year later she was unable to fulfill.
Life happens, things change, it's an animal. Do what's in the best interest of all parties. One person has no idea what they would do if they were put into a different person's shoes that have now been urinated on by a cat.
This...would you rehome your child because life gets crazy or they misbehave? Pets look to their owners for support, protection, and love. Besides, what kind of example are you setting by disowning your pet when life has other plans for you? I have two indoor cats and will never get rid of them!
could re-homing them to a place that will better handle their needs be as tramatic as taking them from the place you buy them or adopt them? animals do adapt, correct???
I have kept in touch with both places where my animals are now living and although they cannot talk, they seem to be well-adjusted (eating, playing, etc) and not going through some serious meltdown.
Why don't we all just agree to disagree on this one?
It's exactly what it is. Each person believes something different and no other person is going to change their mind. So it's useless drama.
Yep...op just wants attention imo.
Did you miss that part that re-homing them here is sending them back to the Humane Society?
As long as it's not a dead cat...
Here's my fuel to the fire: what about divorce? If you side eye anyone who rehomes their cat because of its issues, do you also side eye someone who gets divorced because their spouse had issues? Just a hypothetical for discussion.
You just added more fuel to the drama fire!
A spouse (human) can make it's own choices regarding changing behavior or getting divorced. A cat is more akin to a child (sorry I know some people don't like that comparison) because they depend on the owner to take care of them and protect them. They have absolutely no say in the matter.'
I don't see how your comparison makes any sense.
Oh snap!
"My husband wouldn't stop peeing on the carpet, so I found a nice family on Craigslist who will take him off my hands."
My sentiments exactly. And before someone says animals and humans are different, think of this: ALL SENTIENT AND LIVING CREATURES WANT TO LIVE HAPPILY. TREAT ALL WITH RESPECT AND LOVE. To me that really levels the playing field and if you don't agree, you shouldn't have pets.
This exactly. I don't necessarily compare pets with children, either, but comparing a pet with your SPOUSE is downright ... wrong.
Yea, well maybe BV should take her cats to counseling. Yea.... I don't really don't think the analogy is the same.
Harper Grace 08.31.12 Sibling Expected 08.30.15
Aug 2015 - January Siggy Challenge - Fav mean girl from TV/Film
Ellie from CougarTown
Some animals adapt, some don't. You can rehome some dogs and they won't change a bit. But you can rehome others and they will become depressed, destructive, and change completely. And no, I don't support returning animals to shelters either, but it's a better option than re-homing on your own because shelters at least have the resources to vet potential adopters and modify behavioral issues.
But PPs are right, this issue is a dead horse I don't really feel much like harping on anymore. I just side-eye the hell out of people who re-home. Having worked in a shelter, the reasons people give for surrendering animals is usually crappy and/or easily fixable ("I don't like having dog hair on my couch/he peed on the floor once/I changed my mind/we're moving to an apartment that doesn't allow cats/etc.")
(Where's that helicopter cat badge when I need it? Ha.)
two years!
after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
Brie Fit Blog | BFP Chart
Lucky, MH deadbeat is still destorying my house plants when I leave for the day.
Harper Grace 08.31.12 Sibling Expected 08.30.15
Aug 2015 - January Siggy Challenge - Fav mean girl from TV/Film
Ellie from CougarTown
Not again
In this case, I think a craigslist family would be perfectly acceptable.
Yeah, it's apples and oranges, but marriage was the only life time commitment (other than kids--and I hate the kids/pets comparison) I could think of to compare it to. Interesting comparison fail.
The only thing I want to say about this then is that these things should be taken into account before adopting. If you even think it's a possibility that you would not be able to handle the impossible issues, then sure - go get a puppy and hope beyond all hope that you're able to train him very well to live exactly as you want. But watch out, they still need potty training and they teethe, etc. If you adopt an older dog, you have to be prepared for the possibility that you are taking on a dog who is already set in its ways and will never change. That is a commitment on your part.
It is always the intention to keep a pet for life, but sometimes you can't. I have a chihuahua who is 12 years old. About a year and a half ago we got a 6 month old puppy, and about 6 months after that the puppy or vicious and attacked my poor Molly, and cost us $1000 in vet bills. Unfortunately the puppy had to be re-homes, we loved her, and it was very difficult for us to get rid of her, but it was in her best interests, as well as the best interests of our family. She couldn't be trusted. I know it is not ideal, but the vet told us she would be better off in a home with no other pets. Sometimes you have to do it. I understand that this is a different situation than BV's, but just wanted to share our situation where we couldn't get around it.
Sorry for grammar, I'm on my phone.
I have a cat (or cats) that just ruined a very expensive tempurpedic mattress because they peed on it and are peeing everywhere...and I still can't see rehoming them. I suppose, I might do it if the cat was going to my parents or somewhere I absolutely knew she was going to a good family, but usually "rehoming" involves taking them to a shelter. I guess it is an issue of priorities. DH and I just dropped about $7k to save an 11 year old Great Dane who has already outlived his life expectancy...and we once spent about $10k to try to save a Springer who, truth be told, was not a very good dog...he had peeing and aggression issues and we still kept him and loved him because he was our dog and we took that responsibility when we got him. I guess I just see these animals as part of the family. To me, rehoming a pet would sort of be like rehoming my husband. Obviously, if there was an issue with safety of one of my children, I would look to rehome but I can't imagine many other scenarios that would make me rehome an animal. But to each his own, I suppose.
EDIT: I am jumping in on the discussion now because I didn't see the original discussion as I've been laid up in bed with my irritable uterus the last 3 days and wanted to add my two cents.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Never in bad taste.
Here is more fuel.... since we are comparing cats to actual children... we should side-eye people who abort unborn children due bad pregnancy timing, disability, parent financial situation or age... etc... I mean, we are talking about taking responsibility for our life choices... right? That is a lot of fuel. My body my choice vs my furbaby my choice. Or how about those TRUELY awful people who choose adoption for those children....
And yes, I know the the OP I read was that she may have to take the cats back to a shelter, but come on, she can choose to send the cats to a home, regardless of what they told her when they were adopted.
That being said, I was also posting about re-homing doesn't always have to be this horrible thing only horrible people who can't stay committed to their animals do.
And yes, I am COMPLETELY looking for attention... yes, that is it, just like everyone else who posts something on this board.
I do agree with this. I definitely think owning a pet is a something you should commit to for the life of that pet. I've had a dog that I loved dearly until he was lost during a bad storm, a cat that I miss everyday since we had to put him down because of cancer, and I have two now that I love wouldn't dream of giving up. But I also, know that at a drop of a hat things can change to where we may not be able to care for them they way they deserve. I would try everything to keep them but life doesn't always work out perfectly to live happily ever after.
What if one HAS to move somewhere pets are not allowed? Do you become homeless for the sake of you beloved pets or do you find them a good home, temporary or permanent? I pray this is never a situation I face, but there are no guarantees in life and people and animals suffer, the best you can do is try to make the suffering as little as possible.
I don't like how some people act all high and mighty, like they are better than someone who can provide a perfect life for their animals forever. True, there are neglectful people out there who have no business owning animals, but to group everyone who has to make that hard choice to give up their pet into that one neglectful group people is wrong and inconsiderate. Not everyone is promised work and money forever, not everyone is promised a home forever. Everything can be great one moment and terrible the next. As for re-homing because the animal has become destructive, some people rent their home and this is not an option. Not everyone has an infinite amount of money to find out and treat whatever may be wrong with their pet. Yes, you do make that choice to spend what's necessary to care for a pet you take into your home, but at some point there is a cap to what you can spend.
Well I think my rant is over, at least this is where I'm ending it. I'm sure some people are going to hate what I have to say, but I don't care. I'm entitled to my opinion and so is everyone else.
I just want to chime in, that although it can be VERY difficult finding a new place to live that will accept pets (I should know, I have a 60 lb Pitt Bull), if you work hard enough at it, you WILL find a place. I looked, every day, for two months straight to find an apartment or house that would take my dog. And it was HARD, but I did it, because I was not willing to give up. I wasn't willing to re-home my dog, partially because I knew that since I didn't have any family to take her in, she would either A) end up being owned by someone who would abuse or fight her, or
end up getting put down in a shelter. It wasn't easy and it wasn't fun, but I had no other option.
I know everyone's situation isn't the same, I just wanted to chime in that for that particular excuse, it is usually really dependent on how hard the pet owner works.
I know it's possible and giving up my animals is not an option for me, I would try my damnedest to find a place if I was in that situation. But think about this, where I live a lot of the pet friendly places have a higher rent. If someones financial situation changed so drastically that their new rent budget is below the lowest rent at a place, that takes pets, in the area they can move, then what? The main point I'm trying to make is that not everything is black and white. Sometimes things don't work out no mater how hard you try.
I definitely agree with that.
*rolls eyes* you know nothin of my faith based moral code - I haven't published it yet for everyone to follow, so zip it.
I missed the part that she signed a contract...
My OP was a knock-off of the original - that not all re-homing is horrible. Glad you got that.
No no no, you should take into account all possible things that can go wrong before adopting a pet. Obviously I am kidding. I had to rehome a puppy we adopted from the humane society because he was so frightened of my husband and I that he would hide under our bed for hours on end and when we would try to get him to come out he would bite or poop. It was absolutely heartbreaking to see such a frightened creature. Neither my H or I had the time to put the little guy into therapy so we found a nice old lady who specializes in pet behavior to adopt him. She lived in on a farm (yes, cliche) and raised miniature goats and the puppy took to her so quickly. He is doing great now and has become a well adapted puppy. Obviously, it was better for him to go to a family that knew how to handle him. When we first adopted him he wasn't aggressive in the least bit just skiddish. It wasn't till we got him home that he showed behavioral issues.
My H also rehomed a pet just before we met. He had adopted a dog during his previous marriage and then found out his ex was cheating on him. He is in the Army and depended on his SO to watch the pet while he deployed but during their divorce he had no one to watch his dog. He ended up having to rehome his dog due to a deployment to a more stable family that could be there with the dog at all times. They send him photos on a monthly basis also. I believe it hurt my H more to give up the dog than it did the dog. The family said she transitioned very well. You can't prepare for things like that and I think it is so silly to say that before you get a pet to take into considerations all possibilities. Obviously, work hours and so on are factors to consider but a divorce that was not your fault and a deployment soon after are completely different circumstances.