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Not sure how or when to tell my DD about expecting

JenmilhornJenmilhorn
in Blended Families
I just found out last week that I am about 4-5 weeks pregnant. I am newly married. I have a DD9 from a previous relationship. Her father and I share custody 50%. He already has a new family his GF has a DS11 and they have a DD4 together. My DD9 has mentioned recently that she doesn't want me to have another baby. She has always been my little girl she has my full attention most of the time she is with me and I fear that she is going to be really sad. How do I help her feel good about this? How do I make sure she doesn't feel neglected? Any advice would be helpful.
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Re: Not sure how or when to tell my DD about expecting

  • Tamma254Tamma254 member

    I have a son about the same age, and he's been talking non-stop about wanting a new baby.

     

    At her age, I would suggest waiting to tell her until either you start showing or you get past the first trimester.(Don't want to risk losing the baby and then have to explain that to her as well.) Other than that, keep her involved. Ask her opinion for clothes and whatnot when you are buying for the new baby.

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  • JenmilhornJenmilhorn
    I agree thank you. I am afraid someone will let it slip before I get a chance to tell her.
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  • Tamma254Tamma254 member
    If that's the case, make sure anyone you tell before her that you want to be the one to tell her, and that you aren't ready yet.
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  • SigirSigir member
    imageTamma254:

    At her age, I would suggest waiting to tell her until either you start showing or you get past the first trimester.(Don't want to risk losing the baby and then have to explain that to her as well.) 

    ITA with that.  I did not tell dc until after the NT scan and 1st tri.  I would not want to burden dc with a miscarriage if that happened, god forbid.  As for them not finding out, we were very careful about who we told at the beginning and also told them expressly not to tell dc, and reminded them if dc was there.  Even with all that though, someone actually said to me, in front of dc, "how you doing pregnant lady", and dc actually said to them "what are you talking about, she is not pregnant".  so it went right over their head.  ha.

    After that, I just keep telling dc that the new baby is going to think dc is the coolest kid in the world and want to be just like them.  I have dc as involved as I can, in suggesting names, showing them how to care for a baby, setting up the nursery.  I tell dc that this is going to be our baby, not just mine, and we will all be taking care of it together.  So far this has worked well... 4 weeks to go so we will see what it is like when the baby is actually here!

    Good luck!

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