Does anyone else feel like a failure bc their kid can be crazy!

KGF625 · May 2012

I love my son, he is so smart, talks more than anyone in his mommy and me class, does great with retaining information, was always ahead with motor skills, but he doesn't like to sit and follow routines! When it comes to a circle time or a library program where he has to sit and listen he just can't hack it! I wind up fighting with him and feeling like a fool for usually being the only one in the group who has a child behaving this way. Don't get me wrong, he is generally a very well behaved boy. In open play situations he is always great at concentrating on one thing at a time and sharing, it is just when it is too structured for his taste. I guess I get more upset about it because I am a teacher, I have my masters degree for crying out loud, and I cannot control my own child! I know all the techniques and I have modified the behavior of other children but he is just at times too young to understand those methods. The worst was tonight at the library program the woman in charge kept giving me sympathetic looks and felt the need to come over to me and tell me that we are doing great and not to worry because this is his first class...first class my ass! We do Mommy and Me once a week and we do library programs constantly since he was 3 months old!

I just feel so lost as to what to do about his behavior in these activities. I don't want to avoid them because he has to learn but at the same time I feel foolish for continuously putting myself through it. Anyone in the same boat or have words of advice?

MrsSR · May 2012

Have you tried telling him that if he doesn't stop you are going to leave?

A few times of having to leave may change his behavior.

insertclevername · May 2012

My LO is very high energy. I know that at this point in time bringing him to a quiet library group is something that he cannot handle. He does better in classes and settings where he can be physicaully active and constantlY moving. I save book time and quiet time for at home in case it doesn't work out. Your child isnt even two yet. If he prefers being physically active to sitting for library time let him do that for now. Trying to get him to do something he may not be ready for isn't pleasant for anyone. Once he is older and able to regulate his emotions better and channel his energy I am sure he will enjoy library group.

nancy30005 · May 2012

Funny you mention this. My LO is glued to my lap during story time/music class while the other kids are wandering/playing.
That's nice of the instructor to say that to you.
Our music teacher is awesome; he says every behavior (whether clingy or roaming) is normal and accepted. Your LO is not disturbing anyone, so take it from a lap-kiddo's mama: it's really cute to see the independent babes!
Don't sweat it too much.

ETA: spelling

MrsMommyQ · May 2012

NY Mama:
My LO is very high energy. I know that at this point in time bringing him to a quiet library group is something that he cannot handle. He does better in classes and settings where he can be physically active and constantly moving.

Same for us

DD is a mover. She loves to run, jump, talk, yell, play, etc. We don't do story time anymore because she wasn't into it. I know she is capable of sitting and playing quietly and or reading, so I'm not worried about it. Right now she's just more into moving around and doing things.

Don't worry about your LO. Like PPs said, for now, pick activities you know he'll like.

3003girl · May 2012

Have you read "raising your spirited child"? Might be worth it.

My kiddo is just the opposite - talks a ton at home, but take her to a class and she just clings to me. I just try to follow her lead, I think she is too young to force her to do anything. I want her to have good experiences.

Quesera · May 2012

fredalina:
Honestly? Let it go. Drop the type of structured stuff you know he won't excel at. You have to set them up for success, and this isn't something he can excelnst right now. Yes, he needs to learn. Before kindergarten in 3 years. Plenty of time!

ITA. This is about you, not him.

nosoup4u · May 2012

Oh jeez, don't beat yourself up! Some kids are just nutters...my second is a total crazypants, and does things my first never dreamed of, ever. Group settings are hard for little ones to handle. My older son refused to participate in circle time regularly until he was almost four.

And speaking as a former teacher, dealing with your own kids is a gazillion times harder than dealing with students.

KGF625 · May 2012

Thanks everyone, it is definitely harder when you are working with your own child than others! You all gave great advice and support in letting me know I need to chill out a bit.

SoDoMojo · May 2012

I stopped taking DS to story time awhile ago because he just wanted to run around. I'll try again when he's older.

Wufroggy79 · May 2012

Quesera:
fredalina:
Honestly? Let it go. Drop the type of structured stuff you know he won't excel at. You have to set them up for success, and this isn't something he can excelnst right now. Yes, he needs to learn. Before kindergarten in 3 years. Plenty of time!
ITA. This is about you, not him.

ITA as well. My DD can't sit still for my own story times, so I am not going to bother with the lap time class at the library this year. Maybe do more active classes with him instead?

klondikebar · May 2012

At our storytime, most of the young ones wander around at some point. I don't think it's that big of a deal. He's not even 2 yet. Going to classes and group activities are learning experiences for children. He'll learn to sit more as he gets older. Don't stress about it and go have fun.

ETA

Everyone has their own struggles with their children. The one sitting nicely during the entire library program may not do so well during open play. He may not still sleep well or be a very picky eater.

chardonnay24 · May 2012

I think it's weird that people expect toddlers to be quiet and still at library storytime. Ours is less than structured and there are all levels of activity and independence. Usually our storytime involves songs and rhymes, movement, a few books, play time, and bubbles. I can't imagine an actual story time at this age!

My kid is constantly on the go and honestly, I just avoid places where I know his behavior will not be accepted. It is not a battle I wish to have right now. I give him lots of active outlets and avoid quiet/calm environments for now.

[Deleted User] · May 2012

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Ardmhs83 · May 2012

My son is crazy!!! Sometimes known as the baby sitter bully and he is only 21 months old! My DH and I are both teachers too! We correct him, put him in his PNP for time outs, but nothing works. Normally all that happens is we get all worked up and Carter just does his thing. He did that same thing as your son in his "Mommy and Me" classes at our local gymnastics facility (that I use to teach at for crying out loud). He was fine when the teachers said, "ok..go to your favorite spot"...he loved it. When it was time to sit and watch/listen for what to do on the next obstacle course...he wasn't having it. I had to hold him down and he would scream bloody murder. Eventually, I just had to realize...he is only 18 months old, the class goes up to age 3 and he cannot possibly act like a 3 year old. When the teachers were explaining stuff toward the end of the month I would just take him elsewhere and let him do what he wanted. I was done holding him down. He will behave better and catch on when he is older. This is why they call this time period the "terrible twos." Don't get down on yourself....I'm sure your doing great. Your son will get better with time.

Want a personalized experience?

Does anyone else feel like a failure bc their kid can be crazy!

Re: Does anyone else feel like a failure bc their kid can be crazy!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards