Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Happily Overwhelmed
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Re: So lost when it comes to VBACs.
Iris put together a great blog with information, links to articles, and birth stories:
https://vbacbumpies.blogspot.com/
Personally, I was induced with pit for my VBAC at 41 weeks (the hospital I was delivering in did not allow VBACs to go over 41 weeks). Not all VBAC "friendly" providers allow this. I interviewed a lot of providers and settled on my CNM because she delivered in a VBAC friendly hospital and she had a great VBAC success rate. She took plenty of time at each appointment to answer all of my questions (and I always had many) and we developed a great rapport so I really trusted that she was making suggestions based on my and my baby's best interest (not on what was easier for her, etc).
My advice is to ask your doctor lots of questions. I had 27 months between my two births but I know people who were much closer together and still VBACed. It sounds like positioning was a major factor for you so if your next baby is positioned better, you might have an easier birth. Also, it could be your body just wasn't ready to birth when they induced you. Every pregnancy and labor is different, so you'll never know until you try!
Good luck with all of your decisions!
I'm no expert, but I've done a ton of research and am hoping to VBAC in September. Here is my input on your questions:
1. Everything I have heard from providers is 18 months between births minimum is best. The fact that you labored and got to 5 I think is also a good indication your body will go through labor fine if you can get some help with positioning again if needed.
2. Induction with VBACs depends on hospital policy. Not sure how it is in IL, but here in OR, some will induce, others won't at all..it's automatic RCS. My hospital/midwives allow up to 42 weeks with ultrasound monitoring before any inductions are necessary and they allow any and all inductions with monitoring and moderation.
3. I have NEVER heard anything about them doing vertical incisions with a RCS. Do you think that's to avoid the prior cut? I heard they cut you in the same place twice, but that was not from a health care provider.
If you haven't looked into a local ICAN chapter, that can be a good help. Good luck to you in your research.
Again--could be totally lost but, I've heard that if it becomes more of an emergency state they'll still cut vertically. And I've heard that there are more risks with a VBAC so I was curious to know if that related. I know for sure if I'd go with a RCS my doctor would cut the same place again.
Thanks for suggesting the ICAN chapter. Never would have thought of that!
#1 - First off, don't count on TTC taking the same amount of time, unless you have some medical condition. It took us a year with our first.....and less then 2 weeks with the second. So, make sure you're really ready when you start trying.
#2 - I went over 42wks with DD, so I'm up against the clock, too. I had to switch providers and hospitals to have the opportunity to have a little pitocin and go to 41wks.
As for dates, make sure you know exactly when you conceived. I lost a few days off my first birth because they used my LMP date, instead of my ovulation date.
#3 - Most VBAC failures are not emergencies. If you fail during labor or fail to make your hospital's deadline, you would most likely end up with a very standard RCS.