Question for Moms Who Have Already Experienced Natural Childbirth

C&S1030 · May 2012

All the "nastiness of pregnancy" talk on the October 2012 board today has me curious.... Is it best to have an episiotomy or to just naturally tear? The whole tearing thing is the only thing that has me just absolutely terrified.

Did you feel it when you tear? Or is there just so much going on down there that there's no way to tell exactly whats going on?

Bonidiebabe · May 2012

My tear was internal. I tore from my cervix down to my labia minora. Honestly, I didn't feel it. Not until after anyway. I did not have one stitch on the outside.

kami1977 · May 2012

I had/have in my birth plan I prefer to tear. I ended up with a 2nd degree tear with DS. I didn't feel it happen, at all. It was no big deal, I was sore for a week but not excrutiating pain. My friend who had an episiotomy said the healing part was really painful. Her description made it sound worse than my tear, but I could just have a high pain tolerance.

CallMeAl · May 2012

I had a second degree tear. Recent research suggests that tears heal better than episiotomies. Since I've only had a tear, I can't really vouch for that, but I did heal quickly and easily.

I did have the "ring of fire" but didn't really feel myself tear specifically. I had some stitches, but I barely felt them and they were nothing compared to the birth itself. I was also completely involved in loving on my new baby to really even notice.

runrinserepeat · May 2012

I only had minor tears, so no stitches and really quick healing time. I think people sometimes discount that possibility. I'm SO glad I didn't have an episiotomy.

superned · May 2012

CallMeAl:
I had a second degree tear. Recent research suggests that tears heal better than episiotomies. Since I've only had a tear, I can't really vouch for that, but I did heal quickly and easily.

This. I had a few stitches and barely noticed them.

I had a resident (and a med student) observing my birth. While I was pushing I guess the (male) resident suggested an episiotomy. My OB (the on-call, a woman) snapped at him, "I don't do episiotomies." (DH heard this exchange - thank goodness I didn't!)

C&S1030 · May 2012

This is exactly what I wanted to hear. Thanks ladies. I can deal with the pain afterwards... I just don't want to feel the actual tear! I've also heard the healing is much quicker when going natural versus episiotomies.

Mrs.MauiBride24 · May 2012

There was a lot of great replies here from the other day:

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/65549607.aspx

I definitely couldn't feel tearing.

julyjennifer · May 2012

I had a 2nd degree tear and did not feel it tear at all. It sounds scary as an idea, but for me it was a non-issue. A few stitches and it healed fine and was not painful.

With #1 I had a slight tear and no stitches. Again, didn't feel it.

Mrs.Greeko · May 2012

With my first had a third degree tear with internal tearing. I didn't feel a thing, didn't actually even feel the "ring of fire" because she came out so fast there was no stretching going on. While delivery was super easy that way, recovery was a bit more involved. That was in typical hospital bed delivery position and my water was artificially broken seconds before DD#1 came out. I blame both of those facts for my tear. She was my smallest baby at 6 pounds 11 ounces.

With my second I didn't tear at all. I definitely felt the ring of fire and that did hurt. But recovery was sooooo easy. DD#2 was born in the water in a squatting position, which is probably why I didn't tear. She was my biggest baby at 7 pounds 4.5 ounces.

With my third I had a second degree tear. I definitely felt the ring of fire and this was my most painful delivery. My son was born sunny side up on a birth stool (when he refused to come out fast enough in squatting position in the water and started having major decels). This is why I tore that time and why the pain was worse. He was 7 pounds 2 ounces. Recovery was probably the hardest that time because there was a "raw" section that they couldn't stitch that just had to heal and that was pretty painful for a couple months.

jennyann28 · May 2012

I had a 2nd degree tear, and I didn't feel it at all. The doc actually said, "now I'm going to stitch you up" & I said, "oh, did I tear?" lol. My recovery has been fantastic so far. I took some ibuprofen & Tylenol that they gave me in the hospital a couple of times, but no meds needed since I've been home.

RockyMtnMama · May 2012

This is how it was first explained to me in our first natural birth course.

Take a piece of paper and try to tear it a little. Now cut a clean 1" slot in that same paper and then use the same force as before and tear a little...you'll see that the cut slot actually tears more easily when stressed the same.

Same thing with skin.

Oh and I've had both - tiny tear with my first (26 hours of labor - 12 active with 2 hours pushing). Episiotomy with my second (followed by a tear from that). With both I didn't feel a thing in the moment and I was unmedicated with both. With the recovery, honestly I had a good perinatologist fix the episiotomy so it wasn't much worse to recover from, but it was a little worse. However, it feels different during sex now (after episiotomy with DS#2) than after the tear healed with DS#1.

dosafyre · May 2012

Personally...I was more terrified by episiotomy, because of how badly my mother had ripped when they gave her one. Tearing feels safer, more controlled.

I had a second degree tear. When I felt it happening, it just felt like a little line of heat (like somewhat had dripped some warm wax on me and it was trickling a little)...no pain for me. The tear was a little tender for a few months, but no big deal to recover from and no pain to stitch up either.

lily225 · May 2012

I had an episiotomy with my first. I really didn't want to have one, but I had an on-call dr. delivering me and he just kind of did it. I remember the prick of the needle hurting, even amongst the contractions.

With my second I tore naturally. I did have to feel the needle poke afterward when I got stitched up, but it wasn't horrible. I did not feel any tearing and I think my recovery was a tad bit shorter. Although, the stitches themselves took longer to heal (I was good at my 6w pp check with #1 but not with #2), but Ithink I felt better a little faster.

My third I had an epi but did not tear, just a "skid mark". She gave me one tiny little stitch for good measure.

I would think if it was a big tear or severe enough that you might feel it, but otherwise I wouldn't think so.

DesignsOnYou · May 2012

Absolutely without a doubt, tearing is preferred over an episiotomy. I wouldn't wish an episiotomy on my worst enemy.

Actually getting it didn't hurt, but the recovery was HORRIBLE. It took months and months to feel "normal" again. I tore a little with my second and it didn't phase me a bit. It healed very quickly with little discomfort.

stever · May 2012

I had a 3rd degree tear and did not notice when I tore.

kayladay · May 2012

I tore some and then had an episiotomy after I tore some. I did feel mine, it wasn't a horrible pain but then again I had a 9 pound baby and so I tore a good bit. But healing wasn't a problem and didn't take long.

eclipselova4eva · May 2012

I had an episiotomy with DS and after 8+ years I can still remember the sound of the Dr. cutting me. Eek!! My new Dr. does not believe in episiotomies so I don't have to worry at all about any cutting going on with this delivery. Woohoo!

katcarls · May 2012

I had a first degree tear with DS, but didn't need stitches. I didn't feel it at all and recovery was easy. He was having severe decels and they used the vacuum to get him out as quickly as possible. I don't think I would have torn at all if I could have delivered him on my own. I didn't tear with DD, just a small "skid mark." I didn't feel that one either and my recovery has been a breeze.

Tears tend to heal better and faster and episiotomies can lead to more severe tearing. An episiotomy can also be more extensive than your natural tear would have been.

aetg · May 2012

I had an episiotomy and it was awful. Of course the doctor didn't wait for the local to kick in before he cut. It slowed down my labor because I was so upset. Next time I will be doing my best to stay upright for labor so I don't have to deal with it.

reederah · May 2012

I only had a small tear in my labia. I remember feeling intense stretching/burning, but not the actual tear itself. I'd definitely say there is too much going on to tell what exactly is happening. And in my opinion, I'd rather tear naturally because if I knew it was coming, I feel like an episiotomy would hurt like crazy (although I guess they numb you? I'm not sure how it would work if you were doing a natural birth). Anyway, GL to you!

Celyn · May 2012

I had a 1st degree tear with DS1. I didn't fell is happen, but I sure as heck felt it stitched up. My OB didn't numb me for the stitch. I did not tear with DS2. I rarely see an episiotomy done. It's not routine here anymore at all. There's really not much point to having a 4th degree wound when you might have only had a (more more typical) 2nd degree tear.

tokenhoser · May 2012

I had a third degree tear and had to ask my doctor if I tore. I didn't know.

The healing wasn't bad, but it took a while for sex to be pleasant.

C&S1030 · May 2012

Y'all have been very helpful. Thank you so much! I feel a little more at ease. :-)

L0L0 · May 2012

I ended up not tearing at all, so needless to say I'm glad I didn't get a precautionary episiotomy. Everything about childbirth hurt worse than I expected except the "ring of fire." I thought the midwife was gouging her fingernails into me, and then I saw that her hands weren't even touching me. But compared to the contractions, it was not bad. My recovery was quick and easy. I could do normal things like walk my dogs within 2-3 days.

StefandTodd · May 2012

I had a second degree tear. I don't recall feeling the tear...which was my HUGE fear. I promise, it was no big deal.

venussapphire · May 2012

In canada they will not do episiotomies unless the baby is in danger and has to get out asap. It's harder to heal with an episiotomy than a natural tear

Alliebooberz · May 2012

I felt the ring of fire but he was out so fast that it didn't matter. My biotch OB (who gridded his birth entirely) announced that I tore exactly where she would have put the episiotomy (she was apparently still pissed that even though she wasn't there that no one have me an episiotomy) but hav

Alliebooberz · May 2012

I felt the ring of fire but he was out so fast that it didn't matter. My biotch OB (who gridded his birth entirely) announced that I tore exactly where she would have put the episiotomy (she was apparently still pissed that even though she wasn't there that no one have me an episiotomy) but having a baby is not a guarantee that you will tear. I preferred to tear naturally and am glad that was my choice.

BiscuitEater21 · May 2012

kleMcK:
I only had minor tears, so no stitches and really quick healing time. I think people sometimes discount that possibility. I'm SO glad I didn't have an episiotomy.

Similar to this^ I had what my OB called "scrapes" not tears exactly, so I didn't need any stitches (yay) and you can't feel anything while in the birthing process...until after.

Anyway I am 4 weeks PP and feeling better each day, less bleeding and less pain. I can't wait to have my 6 week PP check 2 days before LO turns 7 weeks old!

The best of luck to you! My advice is: Don't stress if you aren't able to have the exact birth you want. $h*t happens!! And regardless of how it goes down, you will end up with a beautiful baby in your arms to make you forget all the pain and love more than you ever thought possible

Temp76535187505890 · May 2012

An episiotomy is a guarantee while there's no guarantee that you'll tear. I'd take the possibility of tearing over the absolute of an episiotomy any day.

ridesbuttons · May 2012

I felt the ring of fire, but the the tear/s themselves. 2nd degree tears both times (I don't know how many stitches but at least 20 minutes of getting stitched).

The current wisdom is to let yourself tear (or not) and don't do an episiotomy.

kacelle · May 2012

I was told I'd absolutely need an episiotomy to avoid severe tearing...and I didn't have one nor did I tear.

ABeautifulMind · May 2012

I had internal tearing b/c my DD came out with her hands on her face. I remember feeling the ring of fire and then a lot of pressure when she came out, but could not differentiate what was the actual tearing. I felt sore the first 3-4 days, but I felt back to normal by one week pp. That being said, I would absolutely go the route of tearing v. episiotomy.

footnotegirl · May 2012

I only had two tears, one so small the doctor said she'd seen papercuts worse, and one that required a single stitch.

I did not feel them happening whatsoever. Really, the pushing and delivery were such a relief after the torture of Transition that I was just coasting.

WifeyMommy2011 · May 2012

I did not have an episiotomy because our hospital doesn't do them unless medically necessary. I had a 1st degree tear, didn't feel it when it happened.

JessaPrimate · May 2012

Thank you for asking this question and for all the great replies.

Jason&Erin82507 · May 2012

CallMeAl:

I had a second degree tear. Recent research suggests that tears heal better than episiotomies. Since I've only had a tear, I can't really vouch for that, but I did heal quickly and easily.

I did have the "ring of fire" but didn't really feel myself tear specifically. I had some stitches, but I barely felt them and they were nothing compared to the birth itself. I was also completely involved in loving on my new baby to really even notice.

This!! Exactly 100% this!!

bearkatjen · May 2012

After I had DS, my doctor said she was going to give me a couple stitches. I asked her if I tore, and she said maybe. I didn't feel anything tear or any pain at all when I was pushing DS out because every single bit of physical and mental strength was focused on pushing, there was no room in my brain for pain. If did tear, it was really minor. As for recovery, I never needed pain meds or anything. I felt great from day 1.

HSartteach · May 2012

I did have an episiotomy with DD. I had been pushing for 3.5 hours, and her head was stuck partially out for quite some time. I just would not stretch any further, so my mw felt it was best. I really don't think that if I had continued to push that I would have teared.

My recovery wasn't that bad. I was healed relatively quickly.

katylady09 · May 2012

I requested no episiotomy and ended up with a second degree tear. I'm happy I stuck to it! I don't remember feeling the tear happen. I didn't know I had torn until the doctor started stitching me up. I gave birth 2 weeks ago today and am feeling completely normal down there and have for a few days now! Pretty easy recovery, IMO.

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