Clicky poll - life before and after loss

hungryhippo · May 2012

I'm curious how 6+ answers this question.

[poll]

delino · May 2012

I voted yes and the reason for my answer is that the past year has been consumed by it. I used to think about babies and wonder if I was KU later in my cycles, but since we weren't really trying, I didn't think of it that often. Now, it's pretty much all day, every day. Life after loss has not been much of a "life" as a "quest for baby" if that makes sense.

HopingforChange · May 2012

Absolutely, yes, for many of the same reasons as Delino. I used to work to shop and have dinner and do drinks. Now I work to pay for treatment. Kind of depressing but true. I guess the good part is that I am lucky enough to have a job!

KGS2003 · May 2012

I voted SS. I used to but I don't anymore. After my last loss it was too much to think of the before and after. I think more in terms of if/when I am lucky enough to get PG again instead.

AngnShaun · May 2012

Absolutely. And now even further i have life before loss, after loss and my IF life...

Laurakat81 · May 2012

I do. It makes me sad to think that I used to be such a genuinely happy-go-lucky person, not a care in the world....

I struggle with "looking forward" and not looking back. But I really miss that girl.

HopingforChange · May 2012

jenek0213:

HopingforChange:
Absolutely, yes, for many of the same reasons as Delino. I used to work to shop and have dinner and do drinks. Now I work to pay for treatment. Kind of depressing but true. I guess the good part is that I am lucky enough to have a job!

ME TOO... it sucks

I can't imagine the costs you are dealing with. I am just terrified and we actually have an IF account, which is funny is a sort of ironic/sadistic way. This stuff is nuts, and I am just now on the edge of it. ((hugs))

ufsandra85 · May 2012

i voted no because i separate my life with before we moved to CT and after because a lot of crap happened besides my 5 losses. Thankfully we left CT. haha not that CT had anything to do with it but seriously from the first week we moved there until the week we left we had terrible things happen

hungryhippo · May 2012

Thanks for your votes and honest answers. I totally think of my life in two distinct before/after parts.

I recently heard a bereavement specialist talk about cancer patients and their families the other day and she said that cancer survivors often separate their lives into before and after cancer. I completely resonated with that. While I would have said before hearing that, that miscarriage changed my life, I don't think I was able to articulate it in the right way.

I have to admit, that I was hoping that 6+ might answer this question differently. I was hoping to hear more "I used to think of it that way, but not anymore." is it bad that I still hope that the impact of loss lessons someday?

I suspect PGAL and PAL might see the percentages a bit more balanced or swing the other way. But, I don't actually want to know.

AngnShaun · May 2012

I expect it will lessen one day... But probably not any time soon!

tdmd09 · May 2012

Laurakat81:
I do. It makes me sad to think that I used to be such a genuinely happy-go-lucky person, not a care in the world....
I struggle with "looking forward" and not looking back. But I really miss that girl.

I feel the same way. Sometimes I have a hard time looking at pictures of myself before my losses, or when I was pregnant the second time (and my baby had passed and I didn't know it), because I look so.darn.happy in those photos, and I just want to shake the girl in those photos and tell her to look out for what's about to happen.

Clicky poll - life before and after loss

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