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I think they've joined forces...

CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
in Blended Families

Seriously, my XH and BM must have each other?s phone numbers or emails and they plan when they?re going to act like complete buttheads. I swear they coordinate their temper tantrums.

My earlier post touched on the tantrum BM threw this weekend. For those of you who remember, my XH was dragging his feet about booking the flights for the kids to come visit this Summer, and then threw a fit when I told him that he needed the fly the kids on the days he previously offered. Well, he finally booked their flights and then decided to "inform" my daughter of plans he and his mother made for the night before the children leave. Doesn?t make sense, right? Let me explain...

Apparently during their phone call last night XH told R that he and Grandma discussed things, and the night before they fly out to see him the kids are going to go stay with Grandma at her hotel and that she?ll take them to the airport the following afternoon. I?m sorry, what?! How was this not discussed with me?  My husband and I already bought tickets for Medieval Times for the night before they leave, and my mom is driving down to go to the airport with us. After R told me this I let her know that I?m sorry her father got her hopes up, but unfortunately we already have other plans. I emailed my XH and told him he needs to discuss things like this with me prior to telling the kids because my husband and I already made plans and purchased tickets, so the kids aren?t going to be doing what he suggested.

This morning I received a scathing response to my email demanding that I have the kids go to his mother "as planned" and that I?m being selfish. "You see the kids every day, and yet you can?t let my family spend a few hours with them. I don?t see why they can?t stay in the hotel with my mom and have their family go with them to the airport." I told him what plans my husband and I made, and then told him if wants to reimburse me for the cost of the tickets we purchased, then I would be agreeable to having the kids go have dinner with his mom, but not spend the night at the hotel. His response? "You?re just being a selfish ***". Oh, now I?m a selfish ***? I informed him the offer is now off the table and to have a good day.

What is wrong with people?! Am I being completely unreasonable to expect that he discuss plans with me prior to committing me to them? This is the same man who drags his feet every single time his yearly visitation comes up. Ugh, so frustrating. Maybe it?s the pregnancy hormones, but I?m pissed. I?m hoping the Interstate CS action starts right this second and they go arrest his ass.

End vent....

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Re: I think they've joined forces...

  • FriskyPandaFriskyPanda

    Could you drop the kids with grandma after the dinner?

    And, yes, I agree he shouldn't have made plans for a time when the kids are supposed to be with you. 

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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member

    The Medieval Times show starts at 6 p.m, and it's a few hours long.  That's pretty late for a quick visit I think.

    I forget to mention, his mother lives in TN with him.  She'll be hopping on a plane a few days later and heading out there where she'll spend the remaining 10 days of the kids' visit with them.

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  • fellesferiefellesferie member

    No. Just no.

    I'd feel bad that their plans got messed up, but I'd still say no.

    If it was important to him/his mother, they should have discussed it with you.

    Whenever DS has parenting time w/ XH, we almost always have some special family plans the night before he leaves. I would no sooner hand over that night than I would fly in and show up for the last night of XH's time with him.  

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  • karleegirlkarleegirl member
    imagetifanico:

    Until they don't get on that plane and are with him it is not considered his parenting time. He doesn't get to tell you what to do during your time with the kids. End of story. 

     

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  • WahooWahoo member
    "Your lack of planning does not create my emergency."
    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member

    imageWahoo:
    "Your lack of planning does not create my emergency."

    Exactly.  And that's what I told his mother when she called me whining and crying and b!tching.  I'm so fed up with being the only one in this custody agreement that can manage to plan for things.

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  • FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member

    imageWahoo:
    "Your lack of planning does not create my emergency."

    amen

    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
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