need some encouragement

Chelsey68 · May 2012

So at the beginning of my pregnancy I had no idea what I wanted birth wise. Well somewhere around the midpoint I started looking into natural birth and have now decided it is defiantly something I want. Well I just questioned the nurse practitioner about it today and she acted like oh sure if you can do it. You don't have to get an epi but theres this drug called stadol.....

It was like she didn't even hear me say MED FREE. She said she used to work at the hospital years ago. Thank goodness she doesn't work there now. But she just made it sound like there was no way I could do it with absolutely nothing. I am probably delivering this baby alone but if I do find someone to watch DS and my husband can go hes really not good in those situations. I can't afford the doula fee and theres none offering discounts and whatnot in this area.

So what im really needing is some advice on how to fight of the drug pumping nurses at the hospital. Anyone have any experience in someone trying to push something on you that you don't want during labor? I know I can do this but I doubt its going to be very fun having people in my ear saying I can't.

CallMeAl · May 2012

I fully expected to be acosted by drug-pushing nurses. However, the nurses asked me once if I wanted meds. I told them as politely as possible that I had a med-free plan and to please not ask me again unless I brought it up. It was never discussed again.

I guess I'll give you the standard advice around these parts: labor at home as long as you can, be polite but firm about your plan, and believe in yourself.

Something that worked really well for me was when an intervention was suggested (my OB did suggets breaking my water several times in early labor) I asked to have some time to think about it, or could we talk about it again in 45 min, or something similar. Sometimes you can get by a loooong time with just stalling tactics.

You can do it! Don't doubt yourself.

mamaloves · May 2012

I hear you, this is what I worry about, too - even though I'm going to the same hospital where I had a wonderful natural birth experience, excellent, supportive staff, etc. Yet I'm still afraid of getting a nurse who is discouraging and unsupportive of my birth preferences.

So this is what I remind myself - I will advocate for myself. Worst case scenario, I will request they change my nurse (this all sounds awful to deal with during labor, though). I think in actuality you have a much better chance of having a good, supportive nurse than a bad one. I think it's smart to think about worst case scenario so you feel prepared to deal with it, but not to expect it or only focus on that because you'll very possibly be worrying yourself for nothing.

I really wish you had someone to be there with you! Type up your birth preferences and bring a copy with you to the hospital so you can give it to them immediately (I did this and they didn't bring anything up after that b/c one of my preferences was "Please do not offer me any pain medications, I will request them if I choose to."). Maybe also keep a copy near you so if you have someone in your ear when you're in the throws of heavy contractions, you can just point to/shove the paper at them and not have to waste your breath telling them.

I wish you the best, I know you can do it, and I can completely relate to your concerns.

lily225 · May 2012

One of the things I learned after my first labor was to put it into writing and vocalize that I did not want to be offered drugs of any kind. If I wanted something, I would ask. They have to honor that unless things are getting really hairy.

jennadoll87 · May 2012

Be firm, and stand up for yourself. I was such a push over during my 1st delivery and my response to everything was "OK" and just rolled with it. I sooo regret doing that and wish i had known better then.

Say no, and tell them you mean it so you can focus your energy on relaxation rather than fighting the medical staff!

kami1977 · May 2012

I think writing up a birth plan and discussing it with your care provider is a great option. I just took mine in for this pregnancy and had my doctor sign that she read it. I understand that in an emergency things may go out the window but my doctor and the hospital have a copy of my wishes.

My experience delivering my DS in the hospital was great. My nurses never once mentioned pain meds of any kind, and they left us alone most of the time. I was also in the hospital a long time before labor actually kicked in due to my water breaking right before a doctor's appointment. I did end up with pitocin after 17 hours, but even then the nurses never offered pain medication. I would go in prepared to voice my desires and ask to switch nurses if necessary, but I wouldn't expect them to be trying to push you into drugs also.

monkey121712 · May 2012

my sister went through something like this with her labor as well. her ob basically told her she was an idiot for trying natural. 1. have a written out birth plan. 2. have one of your support people know your plan and have you stick to your plan. 3. tell everyone (drs, nurses, family) that you DO NOT want to be offered ANYTHING at anytime. you know that its there, and will ask for it if you know your body cannot go much longer without it. 4. think about looking into other birthing centers/obgyns. someone/somewhere that will respect your views.

remember this is YOUR time, and know that no one can make you do anything you dont want to do. this is not the time for anyone elses opionions.

i also want to do natural birth, and steps 1-3 are my plan. i know that if someone mentions drugs during labor i will take them, so i dont even want it to be an option. sorry that your going through this. just remember it is your time.

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